I feel better,
the hormonal horror,
has rescinded.
They can be hard to deal with,
the hormones,
the wanting to crawl out of your skin,
the urge to get it out,
cry,
whatever.
Pre-Menopause or,
whatever the hell it is,
killer.
If I could cry,
I know I would feel better.
I can’t,
not from frustration,
not from pain.
I can cry during,
Hallmark Hall Of Fame production commercials,
like the guy who learns how to read in his fifties,
so he can read the birthday and father’s day cards,
his little girl sent him over the years,
that I can cry buckets,
also kittens, puppies and,
Canada gold medal ceremonies.
But, any real emotion in my life,
nope,
stoic,
my normally talkative, gregarious,
butch personality,
clams up.
I feel the emotion,
it just doesn’t show.
It makes me appear cold or emotionless,
it makes me defensive,
it makes the people I love,
and care about think,
I don’t.
It’s disturbing and hindering.
Why?
Beats me.
I feel things intensely,
and it doesn’t show,
or it manifests itself inappropriately.
Spontaneous eruptions.
Maybe, I should stick to writing it,
although that hasn’t always been a success,
perhaps what I need is a soft woman to spoon,
or talk it out of me.
Lucky her:-)
I guess my blog is my virtual wailing wall.
Sorry you have to put up with it,
But….
I appreciate it.
Later girls
BB
I think that crying might be overrated…but, too bad, that you feel(or maybe felt given how much time has passed) bad that you don’t…we are all different. Embrace your uniqueness and be thankful that no one will ever have a picture–either real or remembered of you in the throes of “The Ugly Cry”…:-)
It just seems to help the people who can, to decompress, no matter, I can’t, too butch I guess:-)