Checking in

Hello all,

Just checking in,

all is well.

I have a functional computer,

works fine,

need to figure out,


so I can work on photos.

Been making mounds of,



for projects,

taking lots of pics,

sharing mostly on,


give me a follow,

or just check it out.


lots of reading,

poetry, memoir,

World War I stuff,

more Sassoon,



Wilfrid Owen,

which I just picked up

keep thinking of  Owen as Clive, but, that’s the good looking British contemporary actor, rather than the dashing poet who died a few days before armistice.


I will be crazy busy,

for the next few days,



company visiting,

will be in touch soon.

Hope you are doing well,


enjoying what-

so far,

has been the nicest November,

I can recall.

Be well my friends.

Later girls,


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Make up? I like to think of it as …

Hello you all,

it’s been a while,

hope you are all,

in tip top shape.

I’m feeling good,

it’s the Fall,

got a haircut,

a new jacket,

that fits, perfectly.

For years,

I bought clothes that,

were too big,

too long,

I had to compensate for my,


Even after,

I lost weight,

I was still big in the gut,

because of the alien.

The girth is less,

the alien is gone,


for the first time,

in a long time,

I can buy clothes,

that look the way,

I want them to look.

I could still do with some,

loss around the middle,

what is it the exercise types call it? strengthening your core:-)

but for the most part,

I am happy,

with the way things are,


a work in progress,

taking care of,


loving my body,

building a better butch.

The other day,

I was looking at a selfie,

taken last Fall,

I take a lot of selfies, for many reasons, documenting my life, practising photography, vanity, etc:-)


I noticed,

that I looked,


in good ways,

the slimmer thing is good,

but, also,


A few signs of aging have appeared,

it’s normal,

I’m fifty.

I don’t mind the grey in my hair,


I like it,

no plans to dye it,

I won’t say never,

you never know but,

highly unlikely.


puffy eyes?

a brown spot on my cheek?


I can live without those.

I have always been,

no nonsense in my,




wash my hair,

a little cologne,

in recent years,

a little bit of hair product,

to prevent hat hair.

I wear caps: baseball, flat caps and beanies, I even have a fedora, they mess up your hair, you need product

But, moisturizer?


I never needed that,

and with middle age,


I do,

is it make up?

not really,


it is,

about concealing,

the tiny flaws,

and putting a face,

I prefer,


Less for others,

than for me.

I’m vain,

and proud.

I don’t look twenty,

I don’t look thirty,

I am not even aiming,



I just like to see the me,

I like,

reflected back at me.

If that makes any sense?

I’m not made up,

I’m ….



Be well,

you all.

Later girls,



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Trying something that scares me

Hello all,

I trust you are all doing well.

I’m ok,

been tough being around me,


I get impatient with myself,

I get impatient with others,

I find myself,

wanting to be far away,

in a cabin,

in the woods,

a Thoreau trip.

A few problems,

with that scenario,

I am,

not really,

a country person,

the opposite,



I have to go to work,

make some money,

very little but,


So, instead of,

a cabin in the woods,

I am attempting,

National Novel Writing Month.


gonna give it a try,

I already have a writing buddy,

no idea how all this is going to work,


I have a few weeks to ,

get with the program,

get up to speed,


have a vague idea,


a little more than,


novel/memoir planned,

even have the first sentence


I will be updating,

here and on,

Face Book,


Twitter and Instagram,

btw, you can follow me on any or all of those, social medias, also Tumblr, just type in bookish butch and give a follow

I need this,

I need space,

I need to stay away from,

certain things,

certain people,


move forward,


I would add,

that I am absolutely terrified,

that it will be a disaster,

that I will find the logistics,

too much of a challenge,

technology is not my forte,


I need to push myself.

I finished The Storied Life Of A.J Fikry,

last week,

terrific book,

I enjoyed it thoroughly,

deep and light all at once,

good writer,

Gabrielle Zevon,

deft touch.

I am now deeper into,

the Paul Theroux and also reading,

A V.I Warshawski mystery novel,

good mix of fiction and non-fiction.

Going out to get some air and take some pics.

To all my fellow Canadians,

Happy Thanksgiving,


to the rest of you,

Have a great week,

filled with stimulation, sunshine and surprises.

Later girls,




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Menopause seems to rhyme with pissed off

Hi everyone,

hope you are all well,

taking a bit of a break,

for real,

this time,

from the blog,

social media,


Need to work,


work some more.


everything pisses me off,



I don’t seem to be meeting,

anyone’s needs.

I am too positive and,

Polyanna-ish for some,


too angry and negative,

for others,

I feel pissed off,

all the time,


it feels as if people want to,


as long as,

I say what,

they want to hear,


that is probably my,

hormonal state,


In the interest of,

my sanity,


my relationships,

I am stepping back,

closing down the blog,

and social media,

until the beginning of October.

By then,

I might actually have,

something to say,

Enjoy the beginning of Fall,


the colours.

Later girls,


Posted in My Ramblings | 2 Comments

A butch and her backpack

Hello all,

hope the end of Summer,

is going your way.

It’s a little hot for my taste,


I know the Fall is coming,

the Fall,

my favourite season,

as I am prone to say:

butch season.


Perfect layering,


cap and boot season.

Happy sigh

Work has been tiring,

of late,

when it’s hot,

I don’t sleep well,

when I don’t sleep well,

I get cranky,

at work I hold it in,

which leads to the,



Still haven’t found,

my new,

career phase,

so I think I will stay,

where I am for a bit.

I have,


made a few resolutions,

more air,

more exercise,

that isn’t new,


I also want to travel.

I don’t have,

a lot of money,


I don’t drive,


I want to make a few trips,

to parts of Canada,

I have never seen.

First off,

next year,

Yellowknife, NWT.

I have  friends who live there,

I would like to visit,

I have never been,

to the North,

so the plan is,

mid September or mid October,

in 2016,


northern lights, aurora borealis, Yellowknife, NWT, The Lonely Planet guide to Yellowknife

I will be  out and about taking pictures,

meeting new people,

having new experiences,

I am pretty psyched about it.

Then it will be,





in a few years,

Vancouver and the BC coast and interior.

I know people all over Canada,

I am a no fuss house guest,

so maybe I can convince,

some people,

to let me crash on their couch,

for a day or two,

if not,

youth hostels and monasteries,

here I come.

I am excited about this plan,

it’s preliminary,

quasi embryonic,


it’s got me,



Portrait of me  by a young artist at the Mont-Royal sidewalk sale this weekend, I look younger and leaner and that is fine by me:-)

Have a great one.

Later girls,


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I’ve been reading…

Hello you all, we had another heat wave, last week, I am just now, recovering. ouf, I hate the hot, humid, sweaty heat. It’s over now, it’s gorgeous, hot, not sticky, Summer, end of Summer. I’ve been reading, again, what … Continue reading

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Of drudgery and dreams

Hope you are all,

keeping well,

in this last half of,


I like August,

still some heat,

long days but,

the harvest begins,

the colours are more mellow,

less the stark sun and blue,

of July,

nice month.

It’s been a weird week,

lots of good,



disconcerting things,


things that set my mind to,


I like my job,

it’s not much,

in the way of money,

or stimulation,


growth opportunities,

are present,

and some pretty odd examples,

of human nature,


some times it is,


some times it is just,



always it is food for thought,

be it learning about,


my own foibles, limitations, which of my buttons are easily pushed,

or it is an opportunity,

to wonder,

how some people manage,

to survive,

if not prosper,

in spite of,

their horrendous people skills,


what can only be described as ,

toxic personalities.

You know the kind of person I mean,

you can avoid them,

in your intimate circles,



when it comes to the workplace,

that is harder.

We have quite a few of them at work,



in some cases for real,

in other cases,


It’s hard,

day in day out dealing with these,



it also hones,

your people skills,

even though, in all modesty, mine are very good.

So, this week,

I have put up,

as we all must,

at least a bit,

with drudgery,

it is part of life,

the key is to make it as small a part of life,



Also this week,

I’ve been thinking,

about my dreams,

short, mid, long term,

have they changed?

In the next year,

or so,

I would like to travel,

I would like to visit friends,

in Yellowknife,

the Canadian North.

I would like to spend more time,

taking photos,

so my dream of a book,

can get closer,

I want to keep feeling,

as well,

as I have been in the past few months,

exercise, eat well, stay away from the cigarettes,

keep building a better butch


Last night,

at work,

one of my colleagues,

asked why I had increased,

the number of hours I work,


I said,

quite frankly,

I need the money.

She made a really odd joke,

she is a very odd duck,

about how she thought,

I might be,

following her example,


I said,

you know,

at my age,

I am not too concerned about,

other people as role models.

As soon,

as I said it,

I wondered if it was true.

I think it is more,

that I care less,

much less,

about what people think,

about how I choose to live my life.

I still have role models,

people whose work I adore,

people who conduct themselves,

in a fashion,

which I respect,


aspire to.

One that comes to mind is:


Allison Bechdel,

the writer,

the cartoonist,

butch extraordinaire,

I love her,

more and more.

I watch excerpts of,

Fun Home (the musical based on her graphic novel)

on You Tube,



I think to myself,


she just nailed it didn’t she?

she and the book writer and lyricist,

have put out there,

to the world,

a funny and poignant,


dripping with truth and pain and joy,

depiction of,

being young and lesbian,

of awakening,

of recognizing,

of fear and wonder.

Songs like Ring Of Keys and I’m Changing my Major,

make me tear up,

I recognize my life,



all of them,

writer, composer, cast and crew,

have depicted for the world,

how a budding and growing butch’s life,

can have as much universality as ,

a little girl in the south watching her daddy,

defend a black man,

a teenager filled with angst on a lark of a road trip,

all of our stories,

have our own truth,

but, also the collective,

our truth.

That is what the greatest of art does,

for me,

illuminates the experience of living,

shows the universal,

through the specific,

the macro through the micro.

These are the ramblings of,

my mind,

this week.

Thanks for reading.

Be well, all of you.

Later girls,


p.s I will be reading this week, Are You Mother? a comic drama by Ms. Bechdel


Posted in My Ramblings | 5 Comments

bookshops and peaches and a longed for anarchist

Hello you all, hope you are well, we have just been through, a horrible heat wave, here, in the beautiful ugly, scorcher, but, it only lasted a few days. With August, just around the corner, we might have another one … Continue reading

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Keeping busy just might be the key

Hello you all, I have been in a cranky mood, lately, feeling unappreciated and unloved, totally ridiculous, but, hey, you know, hormones be hormones. I thought I had avoided them, the menopausal and post menopausal hormones, but, I have not, … Continue reading

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So far, a good Summer

Good day to you all.

It is a hot morning,

here in my beautiful ugly,

July in the city,

I have a love/hate relationship with,


The light is long and true,

there is heavy humidity and also,


both positive and negative,

things I love and some,

not so much.

This Summer,

so far,

the scorching heat,

has been minimal


maybe it’s because I like,


less and less,

or maybe it’s because,

removing my alien has,

made me so much more,


less winded and breathless,

bloated and fat,

but, I don’t mind the heat,

I don’t bask in it,

I am not a lizard,


I am managing.


This week,

I have been looking into,

future sources of income,

of employment,


I am looking into an idea,

that I had sort of come up,


a few years ago,

an idea that got pushed to,

the back of the pantry,

hanging out with old cans of soup, opened and mangled boxes of bicarbonate, and, other not quite detritus, still good, but, not quite sure what to use them…for.

This week,

I resurrected,

my teaching English

as a second language,


sent away for a packet of information,

will look into cost of accreditation,

and see if it’s for me.

I also have an idea that would entail,

another small business.

After years of working for myself,


subsequently re-entering the work force,

I have come to the conclusion,

that working for myself is,

what I want.

I intend to keep,

my part time job,

keep working on my creative endeavours,


develop an income generator,

everyone needs one of those.

I’m feeling good,

positive, optimistic,


walking my road.

Later girls,




Posted in My Ramblings | 2 Comments