Online dating or not?

Another cold one,

will it ever end!!!!

The Habs won last night,

I’m not too,

interested right now,

but,

I still,

watch the highlights.

I went out,

with busy writer,

last night,

we had planned soup,

but,

instead we did,

beer,

because,

sometimes,

you need to cut loose,

and have,

a couple of cold ones,

with your friends.

So we had a pitcher,

of Sleeman’s,

and talked.

We always have good talks.

I flirted with her,

it’s harmless, and mostly, for fun, besides, she seems immune to my considerable charms:-)

and we brought each other,

up to date.

The bar was full,

spring break.

I must be getting old,

they all looked about,

fifteen to me.

I’m guessing,

they were,

more like,

early twenties,

whatever.

So,

I said to busy writer,

who, btw, is looking fantastic- yoga, it’s a beautiful thing, or so I’m told:-)

I need to make some new,

gay women friends.

My gay girlfriends,

wonderful, one and all:-)

are all in couples,

or exes,

or much younger,

sort of limits,

the dating pool.

So, I need to meet,

women of a similar age,

with similar interests,

who live in the same city.

or,

I need to try,

online dating.

OK,

confession time.

I have been thinking,

about online dating,

for a while,

but,

I have heard such,

horror stories,

and since,

I’m the kind of butch,

who grows on you,

it might not be great.

Still,

I figure,

since regular dating,

is proving to be difficult,

would online dating,

be that much,

worst?

I figure,

I could write an add,

that would go something like this:

Sensitive and charmingly old fashioned butch seeks femme for friendship or more. I am a self-employed lover of books. Middle aged with good hair and teeth. My tendency is towards self-deprecation, but, I’m working on it. You, should be smart, soft and sweet smelling, love fiction, no self-help readers, please. Perhaps we could share some greasy Chinese food while discussing the relative merrits of John Irving, Somerset Maugham or Edna Saint-Vincent-Millay. I’m looking for an independent woman, who needs me. Not too girly, not too tall. Must love cats, mothers and not despise hockey. Bonus, if you think Blundstones and plaid are bloody adorable.

So what do you think,

good huh?

I am kidding,

but,

I am considering,

it.

What do you think?

Later girls,

BB

Author: Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my mid early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

10 thoughts on “Online dating or not?”

  1. Blundstones and plaid are bloody adorable!

    I’ve never tried meeting anyone through an online dating forum, but that’s entirely due to circumstances rather than any prejudice. I mean, I spend a lot of time making online friends in general (hello, BB!), so where’s the line between that and specifically seeking out a romantic relationship? I have a close friend who has just embarked down that road herself, and doesn’t like to talk about it because she finds it embarrassing. But there’s no shame in looking for what you want, nor in using efficient technology to find it.

    Me, I’ve always met my lovers through working (and attending classes) at the university (loads of queers hanging around those places!), or community volunteering (apparently queers also like public radio, cycling, food security, and dance parties). I realize, though, that most everyone else I can think of met their partners through friends or dating websites or the local gay bar.

    I’m curious: If you were to list yourself on a dating website, would you link to this blog? Or is that too intimate, too soon? Hmmm…

  3. Well, to be honest, it might… But only because you’re pretty much laying it all out here, and some folks just find that hard to deal with. On the other hand, why date someone who isn’t going to appreciate a well-worn heart-on-sleeve? Heh heh.

    Also, even if you do keep this blog from any potential dates, it’d be pretty easy for them to find it anyway. Not that I’ve been cyber-stalking you or anything, but you might want to consider that all they have to do is g00gle your real name (plus the city you live in) and it’s a hop, skip, and a jump to this very URL. And really, if I were going on a date with someone I’d met online, pretty much the first thing I’d do is a web search on them!

    I don’t know, though. As previously discussed, I’ve always favoured deep anonymity in my blog life, but lately have been dealing with a great deal of ambivalence on the topic. If I were doing online dating, I’d no doubt appreciate having an anonymous space to vent, so that I could regale the world with my tales of passion and woe… In reality though, I’ve tended to tell lovers about my blog pretty early on into relationships, because I want them to understand where I’m coming from.

    So. You could try to anonymize (Is that a word?) this blog. Or you could publicize it on your hypothetical online dating profile. Or you could wait until a potential date finds it on her own. Or you could tell a potential date about it. Or you could deny its existence, and forever insist that it must be some other old fashioned butch who just happens to also enjoy books, Blundstones, and the Habs. 😉

  4. Any ressemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental:-) I don’t care if they know or not, I’m actually kinda proud of my little blog and it is partly fictional,sort of— but, as usual you gave me much to think about. Thanks feral:-)

  5. With so many people interacting over the computer these days, it seems as logical a place to meet someone as in a bar or a church group or browsing in a bookstore.

    But I sense that you put romantic faith in the sensory cues; the sound of her voice, her size, shape and curves, her touch in greeting, the fragrance of her hair or body as she breezes past you into the coffee shop where you first get together, the look in her eyes and what makes her smile.

    No matter how you meet, it’s how you feel when you first come face to face that’s going to determine how things evolve.

  7. I say go for it… what have you got to lose? Worst case scenario you meet some duds but at least you get out of the house for at least a drink… but there’s also a possibility you might be swept off your feet.

    Live in the moment I say!

  9. I vote yes. If you haven’t already, online dating could at least be entertaining. What would you have to lose?

    A friend recently started online dating. No ‘matches’ so far, but she has met some interesting folk.

    The key, I think, is to be as honest as you can be about who you are. If this blog represents that, then you should point all potential dates in this direction.

    The problem for my friend is that the person that she says and believes that she is, isn’t who she is. She proclaims one set of beliefs while living another–not bad, just a disconnect. Thus, the ‘matches’ that she gets are nothing like anyone with whom she’d be compatible. She doesn’t realize or even recognize the disconnect and there is no way to tell her. Moral? Honesty or a really close approximation is the best policy.

    Have you read any fan fiction? Janeway/7 or Miranda/Andrea (Mirandy) might give you a different perspective about the ‘kids’ that you saw at the bar. Maybe age really is just a #….Not that there is anything wrong with wanting someone your age, but, isn’t dating supposed to be an exploration? Maybe some of those ‘kids’ might surprise you…I’m just sayin’…:-)

  10. The yes vote is definetly a majority, but, I don’t know. I’m not ageist, I’ve had a few unfortunate experiences.
    I like younger women, they like me, as friends, fabulous, much to learn from each other, I would say the same
    for older women. But, with love generational shorthand seems to help, well, for me.

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