on the wasting of time and happiness

Winner GLBT category

It’s a cloudy day,

today,

first we have had,

in a week,

of glorious,

constant sunshine.

I had a very social,

weekend,

and,

beginning of the week,

enjoyable and also,

tiring.

Lots of time spent outside,

no shortage of, vitamin D, this week.

Getting my mind into gear,

for the labour of love,

that sits before me.

Come September,

BB goes into full gear,

assembling,

the puzzle pieces that are,

my blog,

photos,

notes-

my book.

I’ve been reflecting,

that’s my thing,

reflection,

not that I’m Zen or anything but, I do reflect, think about, examine, try to learn from, past experiences, both recent and not so recent.

These last few months,

years,

have brought,

what I think,

is safe to qualify,

as,

phenomenal growth,

a much greater understanding,

of,

what is,

and,

isn’t,

important to me.

Losing my friend the anarchist,

has brought home,

just how important it is,

to cherish,

those we love,

and,

it has got me thinking about,

not wasting time.

Now,

my definition,

of wasting time,

is not necessarily yours,

and,

that is just fine.

I don’t consider,

chatting with my friends,

sitting around reading,

thinking,

wasting time.

I am not,

in the classic sense of the term,

goal oriented.

In fact,

I am a little bit,

maybe even more than a little,

lazy.

I allow myself,

time,

it is my time,

and,

I can do with it as I please.

I find that,

I am much more,

patient,

about peoples weaknesses,

and,

much less so about,

the lies and illusions they entertain,

about themselves,

and,

I apply the same amount,

of patience and

lack thereof,

to myself.

I spent many years,

listening,

to people’s problems,

people,

who seemed to have,

no one else to listen to,

some people,

have genuine problems,

some people,

see everything in life,

as a problem,

the little black clouds,

and some,

people live in fantasy worlds,

or the past,

the Pollyannas,

it is not my place to judge,

or criticize,

as the saying goes,

‘everyone is waging their own battle’

but,

not judging,

and,

spending time,

with those people,

are very different things.

In the world of work,

and,

society in general,

black clouds and Pollyannas,

are,

inevitable,

we must deal with them,

I do,

usually in a pretty civil way,

but,

in our private lives,

especially our intimate,

secret garden lives,

there is no need.

This morning,

mom and I,

were discussing,

contentment vs happiness,

and,

I came to a conclusion,

I am not content,

with my life,

I am happy.

I am surrounded by,

people I love,

they might not be geographically close, but, they surround me, nonetheless.

I am loved,

I love back,

I am supported,

I support back,

we stimulate each other all of us,

family,

circle of friends,

the woman I love.

I am also very clear headed,

when it comes to,

the future.

I want certain things,

I believe they will happen,

because,

I will make them happen,

and,

I will be helped along,

because the fact is,

I always am.

How plans will pan out,

I don’t know,

and,

that is in fact,

ok,

the journey,

that is life,

is unpredictable,

it is both joyous and challenging,

for some,

difficult,

sometimes,

I roll with the punches,

sometimes,

I roll into a ball,

but,

keep going,

at my pace,

on my road.

I don’t see happiness,

as an endless series of,

giggly,

mirth filled experiences,

not that there is anything wrong with that, 🙂

to me,

happiness,

is knowing who you are,

knowing,

just how damn lucky you are,

and,

walking the road everyday,

in all kinds of weather,

with pains and moods,

or,

smiles and spring in your step.

All four seasons,

with their charms,

and,

challenges.

Living your life,

not existing,

not,

enduring it.

Not wasting time.

Being happy.

Be well girls.

Later,

BB