I feel like I have lost my instincts,
and that my compass is broken.
I don’t know which side is up.
Not about everything,
I can still do my job,
I can still polish my boots,
I can still cook dinner,
I can still beat any body at Jeopardy,
and I can still read.
But, I have lost,
my abilities,
to understand and please women,
well,
femmes,
since they are the ones,
I am interested in dating.
–
My butch is broken.
You would think,
that since I am absolutely crazy,
about women,
and that I happen to be one,
it would give me insight.
Right?
Being sensitive,
earnest,
honest about your feelings,
showing them,
telling them,
how much you desire them,
and how wonderful,
you think they are,
these are good things,
right?
Be sweet,
be true,
be strong,
be brave,
lay it on the line,
be vulnerable,
be,
Butch.
Femmes like a butch to court them,
right?
attention,
flirtatious notes,
patience and understanding,
you know,
old fashioned courting.
Nothing to do with stalking.
Well, I always thought so,
it is part of my belief system.
I respect,
worship,
adore,
women.
In the past year,
a few women went from really liking me,
and even desiring me,
to wanting to be friends and,
dumping me.
Obviously, my compass is broken.
My butch mojo,
failing.
I may have to change the name of my blog,
to bookish monk.
I think I may have a future,
as a monk.
Because, my butchness is gone.
No more about my pathetic love life.
You girls deserve better.
Books are better.
Later girls,
BB
Eh or they just weren’t right for you. Some day it will work out… hopefully 🙂 Or at least that’s what people seem to say. No bookish monk name change necessary, just time.
I am not literally going to become a monk, only because, there are no women monks in the 21st century. According to my friend the historian, there used to be in the past, this was news to me and I will investigate. As for the rest, thanks for the support. I mean that.
Sounds like some hard emotional knocks. That’s one of the sweetest characteristics of a butch, being sensitive and vulnerable. But don’t forget the strengths of your butch identity – your own sense of who you are, no matter what circumstances, opinions or politics the world tosses you into. Muster your bravado. Girls want to see your confidence and swagger, even if you’re not feeling it. They may not be dating material…yet. But they’ll sure notice you and that’s not a bad thing at all, for starters.
You really like and get butch. Thanks. I went out last night and although, I felt a little low and it was dinner with a friend, I believe the swagger was in tact:-)