Dare, softly or loudly, to be… you

Winner LGBT category.

Good morning all,

It’s Christmas Eve!!!

🙂

My day, started off,

very well,

first of all,

I’m off for three days,

and secondly,

while,

checking my emails,

this morning,

I find that I have won a book,

score!!

Now, you should know this,

about ole BB,

I don’t win things,

that is to say,

the butch behind the keyboard,

doesn’t win things,

but,

my persona,

Bookish Butch,

well,

she has won a few things,

over the years,

some books,

a blog of the year award,

very cool,

much appreciated.

So getting back to this morning…

I had forgotten about,

the Women & Words Hootenanny,

last year I entered a few times,

and won a book.

this year,

I forgot about it until,

I noticed a face book friend mention,

that she had won a book,

so I hightailed it,

over to the site,

to enter on the last day,

of the twelve days.

The selection of books,

was awesome,

classics of,

the lesbian cannon,

Curious Wine,

Annie On My Mind,

Rubyfruit Jungle,

The Well Of Loneliness,

it was a selection of books,

that have made our history,

and,

there were a whole slew of books,

by Ann Bannon,

she of Odd Woman Out,

etc,

fame.

So, as I mentioned,

I won a book,

but,

I didn’t win just any book,

no, no, no,

I won a signed paperback copy of…

Beebo Brinker

be still my heart:-)

Few books,

have meant as much to me,

in my coming out,

my evolution into the butch,

I am today,

than Beebo Brinker.

Some books by Rita Mae Brown,

Rubyfruit Jungle and In Her Day,

Rat Bohemia by Sarah Schulman,

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg,

also Wild Things,

by the great romance writer,

Karin Kallmaker,

these books have meant the most to me,

but,

Beebo,

well,

Beebo,

holds a special place,

in my heart,

in my imagination,

she is the ultimate,

sweet loving butch,

a tad tortured,

a trailblazer without meaning to be,

just for being,

her.

This book was published in 1962,

Ann Bannon,

also was a traiblazer,

it took guts to write this book in 1962,

Bannon deserves a place along side,

Highsmith and Baldwin,

for writing honestly,

about a queer/dyke character,

we weren’t LGBTQ2T,

then.

So I imagine sometime in January,

I will be receiving Beebo Brinker,

and I will re-read it,

been a few years.

I read it first,

in my early twenties,

I was out then,

I don’t believe I ever was anything but out, I never carried placards or was in your face, that is not my way, well it sure wasn’t then, but, I didn’t hide, I didn’t pretend I was anything but what I was, butch, without really attaching a label to it, I have, as all of you know, grown to embrace and like my label, it is self-imposed and that suits me just fine.

Beebo Brinker is all about,

being yourself,

true to yourself,

even if it’s hard,

even it rocks the boat,

even if people hate you for it.

She is a big tall girl,

from a small town,

who comes to the big city,

to find a place,

to find love.

The first edition has a ridiculous illustration,

a girl in a skirt suit!!

as if any butch,

especially Beebo,

would be caught dead wearing a skirt,

oh well,

white washing in order to publish,

a small compromise,

for such a ground breaking book.

Some compromises can be made,

it doesn’t kill us,

and I know that ‘passing’

can sometimes save your,

life,

in a still hateful and barbaric world.

I am lucky I live,

in a world,

in a place,

in a time,

where I can be,

just me.

Lucky to live in a city where no one,

well, not many,

cares how I dress,

how I ‘present’,

lucky to be surrounded by,

good loving people,

born into a family,

where,

who,

you love,

isn’t really a problem,

where there is room,

for all expressions of love.

One of the legacies,

I hope to pass on,

to my nephews,

my niece,

is that being different,

even,

marginal,

is ok,

more than ok,

that there are more,

than one type of adult models,

out there,

and that daring,

even,

quietly,

to be yourself,

is essential,

to growth,

to life,

to happiness.

Beebo Brinker,

even as a fictional character,

helped me along that road,

be yourself.

If yourself,

is flaming,

or butch,

or bi,

or pansexual,

or straight,

it matters not,

being you,

does.

A very Merry Christmas to all of you,

wether you celebrate it or not,

peace and joyful tidings.

Be well,

much love.

Later girls,

BB