Building a better butch part 200…

Hello girls, 
I really hope,
you are having a dynamite
Summer,
mine has been,
good, so far,
the shorts have helped me,
to cope with the heat,
which quite honestly,
has been tolerable.

Mom is good,
we miss the Dude,
and, look for him,
constantly,
but, we know,
he is in a pain free land,
RIP my little furry friend

I have been working,
hard,
at building a better butch,
for some time.
The last few years,
mostly about the physical.
Sliming down,
eating well, 
giving up cigarettes,
surviving surgery,
all of it,
makes me feel strong.

I am also trying very hard,
to appreciate what I have,
bask in it,
even.
That is harder,
The post menopause,
grumpies,
take over,
sometimes,
I go on tirades,
rants,
even,
like I said,
I try to tone it down,
sometimes my success,
is,
limited.

I am stubborn,
but,
I am not dogmatic,
I grow,
I don't give up,
easily,
making up my mind,
can take forever,
making a new move,
processing grief,
it's all hard,
I am flesh and bone,
I am not Teflon,
nor do I wish to be.

Recently, I cleaned house,
it needed to be done,
it took me forever,
I gave lots of chances,
I justified to myself,
and, others,
being treated,
in a shabby fashion,
by saying, thinking
if I give up on that,
person,
everyone will.
Fact is, sometimes,
people need wake up,
calls,
need to hit the bottom,
before they can push up.

And sometimes in the immortal words of Helen Mirren



Don't let people treat you badly,
don't treat people badly,
but,
don't take shit.
I no longer,
for some bullshit sense,
of peace and civility,
endure,
 patronizing, sexist and homophobic remarks.

I am not quite at,
the fuck off,
stage,
but,
I am getting there.

It's all part of building,
a better butch,
don't you know:-)

Later girls,
BB

Author: Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my mid early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream View all posts by Bookish Butch