Sometimes, living your best life…

Me, two Summers ago in the Gay Village.

Hello everyone,

I hope all is well with you.

It’s quite cool,

here in my beautiful ugly,

a lovely respite,

after a few days of intense heat.

Yesterday was a hard day.

It was my mom’s birthday.

the first since she passed away.

I miss her,

but, I feel her love all around me.

I can hear her saying,

‘do what you need to do, it’s your life’

It has been a year of change,

but, really all years,

are years of change,

change is inevitable,

just as the sun rises in the east,

change comes.

We age,

we grow,

we learn,

to understand,

our wants,

our needs,

better.

Some changes,

are imposed on us,

some we must,

make.

Every once in a while,

we come to the realisation,

an epiphany,

that what we thought we wanted,

we in fact don’t want.

We all, even those of us,

who are considered,

unconvential,

iconoclastic,

follow the wave,

the trends,

we allow ourselves to be,

convinced,

almost by osmosis,

that we want,

what we should want,

and then,

we wake up to the fact,

that we don’t.

That startles us,

it freaks us out a little,

but, the naked truth is there,

looking back at us,

it’s hard,

those realisations don’t,

only affect us,

they affect those around us,

sometimes they even hurt people.

If there is one thing,

I hate, it’s to hurt people,

to disappoint people,

but…

you can’t keep a barber,

who messes up your hair,

a doctor who doesn’t hear you,

or a relationship that isn’t,

what you need.

You need to move on,

you need to search,

for your best life,

you need to be true to you.

And …

that inevitably hurts someone,

it is the cruel reality,

of life, of love, of growth.

Be well, you all.

Later girls,

BB

Author: Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my mid early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

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