A Return to…Normal

My mom reading her paper.

Hello all, it has been,

nine months since my mom,


Recently it was her birthday,

the first one since she died.

That wasn’t an easy day,

but, it wasn’t as hard as I ,


I know my mother is at peace,

I know we said,

what needed to be said,

to each other,

we loved each other,

we said we loved each other.

I get teary eyed when,

I remember certain things,

when I talk about her,

but with the tears,

there is a smile,

I love my mother,

it isn’t past tense,

I always will,

I miss her,

I always will,

there are no regrets,

there is more joy at memory,

than sadness at loss.

In the last few months,

I have taken opportunities,

to change,

I have grown,

I am happy,

happier than I have been,


the pandemic,

since my mom passed.

Last weekend,

I had lunch,

with a friend,

it was lovely,

it was so easy,

talking, eating,

discussing books,

sitting outside,

going to a local bookshop.

At one point,

I felt a lightness,

I had not felt,

in so long,

a Sunday afternoon,

with ease, spontaneity.

Throughout the pandemic,

the thing I missed most,

was spontaneity,

and on Sunday,

talking books in,

a sunbathed bookshop,

it had returned,

and I took,

a deep grateful breath,

smiled under my mask,

and thought to myself,

‘I feel, normal’


I am double dosed,

most people I have,

the most contact with are.

Bring on …normalcy.

Take care you all.

Later girls,


By Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my mid early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

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