Good afternoon, you all, today is Saturday, the Saturday before Easter, Holy Saturday. I did something this week, that I have never done, before, that I hope to do, again. I spent all night, in my church. From 7 PM on Thursday, to 6 AM on Friday. First, there was music, singing, beautiful, melancholic. and then numbers, dwindled. I had company, I spent time, chatting, praying, reading, I read all, the gospel of John. I prayed by myself, I prayed with friends, in person, and on face time, around 4 AM, I was tired, but, I could not sleep. I never felt alone, or lonely, or afraid. Our church is in, the center of the city, surrounded by bars, and restaurants, a police station, across, the street. It is a neighbourhood, of great affluence, and commercial activity, and, also of hardship, and abject poverty, of homelessness, of opulence. It is to me, the very epitome, of what I refer to, affectionately, as, the beautiful ugly. Within the stillness of, the sanctuary, especially near, the stained glass, windows, I heard screams, of joy, of anger, sirens and horns, laughter. Thursday night, bar crawling, a long weekend, dawning. But, in me, perfect peace. It is hard to describe, how, I feel in that place, cradled in ... love As the sun rose, we left, M and I, she was driving home, and I took the metro. Practically empty, were the subway, and, the streets, I came into my quiet, apartment, mom asleep in her room, I slipped into bed, and slept. It was wonderful. I wish for all of you, the stillness, the peace, the feeling of love, cradling you. Happy Easter, a blessed Passover Later girls, BB
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I wonder what he would say…
Good morning lovely people,
I hope this missive finds you all,
well.
We have been,
getting signs and even,
days of Spring,
here in my beautiful ugly.
Bright sun, windy,
coldish days,
but it feels like,
old man Winter is about to,
give way to barely walking,
Spring.
I love the Spring,
it isn’t as magnificent here as,
other places,
I’m sure,
but,
it is the end of ,
the cold,
the dark,
the dangerously slippery.
Spring is about,
hope,
and life.
I love Spring.
I also have lots of,
complex memories,
about Spring,
my dad died in the Spring,
my two best friends,
were born in the Spring,
I spent a whole Spring,
three years ago,
recovering from major surgery.
Lots of competing emotions,
make me feel,
at times,
raw,
at times,
euphoric.
This Spring finds me happy,
with challenging work,
that may or may not,
lead to something more,
permanent.
So much to learn,
always.
My church occupies,
more and more,
of my time.
That is a good thing.
I love the people I interact with,
at church,
through church.
I feel at home there,
appreciated and that,
my contributions,
can enrich the community.
I have felt love and friendship,
at church.
I have gotten spiritual,
sustenance.
I continue to explore,
to read,
to question,
to develop and build,
a relationship with God.
Last year,
at this time,
I figured I would go through,
the bible once and I would,
have a good understanding,
a handle on it.
That was both incredibly,
naive,
and a little bit,
arrogant,
on my part.
It really isn’t that simple.
I have,
through all this,
felt,
that my exploration,
my faith,
has purpose.
To my life and greater purpose,
as well.
Purpose is vital.
I have found part of,
my purpose at St-Jax’s.
Being a multi dimensional,
human being,
purpose can,
no, must!
come from various sources:
work, family, friendship, community.
I have been blessed in this life,
in family,
in friendship,
in love.
Today, is the birthday,
of my wonderful departed friend,
the anarchist,
I can only wonder what he would think,
about my beliefs, my exploration.
Those of you who knew him,
know he called himself an,
atheist.
Above all else he was a good friend,
who listened, who heard,
who argued and loved,
He would have torn down,
lame arguments,
and forced me to be better,
to be stronger.
He respected me,
as I respected him.
He loved me,
I loved him.
Friendship is a precious thing.
I do wonder what he would have said…
Be well you all.
Later girls,
BB