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Good morning everyone.

It is Sunday morning,

here in my beautiful ugly.

Going to be a hot August day.

Catherine and I are going to St-Jax’s,

my old church,

for service,

followed by lunch with a friend.

Today is the first day of my vacation.

I am taking a break from social media,

pretty much all digital means.

I am going to read,

get lots of air and sunshine.

Recharge my batteries.

It has,

been a long Summer,

so much accomplished.

Time to chill, to reflect,

to get ready for September.

So, like the title says,

“Gone Fishing”

Be well you all.

Later girls,

BB

Hello everyone,

I hope all is well with you.

It is a gorgeous day,

here in,

my beautiful ugly.

This is my last week,

before,

VACATION!

Catherine is already on,

vacation.

We will have one week,

together,

I am looking forward to,

and very grateful for it.

But, today,

today,

is a special day.

Two years ago,

we went on our first date.

It was a suffocatingly hot day,

we walked and we walked,

hoping to find a place for a drink.

But it was the pandemic,

everything seemed closed,

on that Sunday afternoon.

We bought some beers,

at the grocery store,

and we drank them,

in the park,

like teenagers.

We sat 2 meters apart,

we chatted and tried to get,

to know each other.

We had ‘met’ online,

on a singles website,

called Silver Singles,

had been corresponding for,

a few weeks.

The situation was complex,

it was the pandemic,

my mom wasn’t well,

I was involved in a,

complicated long distance,

relationship.

But, I liked Catherine,

I knew she was special,

smart, fun, caring,

and so darn good looking.

We went on a few dates,

and then my mom died,

I was so confused,

it was such a hard period,

of my life.

She waited for me.

I would write to her,

for Christmas etc.

I didn’t know what I wanted,

I am not proud of some,

of my actions in regards to,

my previous relationship.

But, the best decision I made,

in 2021 was reaching out to,

Catherine.

and moving into the greatest flat….ever

She invited me to an art exhibit,

and the rest as they say,

is history.

Two years ago today,

I met someone special,

two years ago today,

my life changed.

It took me almost a year,

to figure it out.

But, Catherine knew,

she is much wiser than me.

She is a blessing and a joy,

in my life.

I give thanks everyday,

for her,

for us.

Thanks for reading you all.

Be well.

Later girls,

BB

Hello everyone,

I hope all is well with you.

It has been mighty hot,

here,

in my beatiful,

but, it is gorgeous right now,

clear sky, cool breeze.

A majestic Summer evening.

Tomorrow, I am doing the second part,

of my first aid class.

I have packed a lunch,

cheese and pickle sandwich, cherry tomatoes on the side,

I have prepped some overnight oats,

for breakfast.

I trimmed my hair,

did some laundry…

worked a pretty full day…

I have been busy lately,

I haven’t been sleeping well,

my mind is working overtime.

I think I really need my vacation.

This year,

I am thinking of going,

digital free,

during those,

last two weeks of August.

I have become,

dependent, addicted,

to my phone,

I even get a little twitchy,

sometimes when I am charging it.

Surely, leaving it at home,

charged and checking my messages,

once a day,

will be good for me,

disconnect, detox.

I know some of you,

who have a very public life,

do that,

at Christmas and on vacation.

I have never done it.

But, I am thinking,

I need to.

I am pretty spent.

I need to charge my batteries.

I need to spend time,

with my girl,

with my friends,

with myself and my thoughts,

I need to go to a ball game,

the movies,

the museum,

botanical garden,

whatever,

and not tell everyone about it,

here or on social media.

Yeah, that’s what I am going to do.

Thoughts? Have any of you all,

attempted this?

You happy with the outcome?

Let me know.

In the meantime,

keep enjoying your Summer.

Later, girls,

BB

My favourite recent photo of Catherine and I. We were out revisiting our first date and the sun was so hot, but, not nearly as hot as that day in August when we first met.

I have been very tired, lately.

The heat and humidity means,

I don’t sleep well.

There was the whole week,

with George having his issues,

Btw, he is 100 percent recovered and his new food should keep these issues from recurring, phew

and generally I think I need a vacation,

I am not as young as I used to be.

Don’t get me wrong,

I am very happy,

I appreciate all that I have.

I think I am very lucky,

to have found someone,

like Catherine,

a fun, kind, nurturing,

loving and sexy woman.

Love in my late fifties,

is so very different,

because, I am different,

I appreciate more,

I laugh more,

I love more,

I have grown,

through the good,

through the bad,

these are wonderful years.

In spite of all the positives,

there are also,

the negatives,

the old bod,

doesn’t handle the abuse,

as well as it used to.

I can’t concentrate like I used to.

I find myself looking ahead,

thinking of retirement,

which, let’s face it, in the greater scheme of things is not that far off. I am fifty-seven after all.

I look ahead,

what will I do?

How will I supplement my pension?

What sort of volunteering?

What new skills will I attempt to acquire?

What hobbies will I indulge in?

I have taken up painting,

and ceramics has always,

interested me,

will I finally learn a musical instrument?

Ballroom dancing?

Which European countries,

must I absolutely visit?

This one is easy-Scotland and France, specifically Edinburgh, Glasgow, the Highlands, Paris and Aix-En-Provence.

Also, I think of books,

the ones I still want to read,

the ones I dream of writing.

More and more I think,

about turning parts of this blog,

into a book,

maybe even a few,

letters to my mother,

odes to my beautiful ugly,

elements of butch style etc.

My mom, the year before she,

retired,

bought the first three volumes,

of Proust.

She had them for years,

had plenty of time to read them,

but, didn’t.

Earlier, I went to ‘her’ bookcase,

and took down the paperback copy,

of,

Du Cote De Chez Swann,

the first volume of,

A La Recherche Du Temps Perdu,

at page 111,

there was a yellowed note,

in her hand,

the titles of all the volumes,

in order.

I don’t know if that means,

she made it to page 111,

and stopped,

I doubt it,

I think she just stuck,

the list somewhere in the book.

It makes me feel,

strange,

when I find something,

unexpected in mom’s handwriting,

which is as distinctive as her face.

So, I put the book,

on top of my to read,

pile.

I am not saying I will read all,

seven volumes,

but, I am saying I will read this one,

for mom.

These are some of my current,

thoughts and musings.

Be well you all.

Later girls,

BB

Good morning everyone.

I hope all is well in your world.

We have been blessed,

here in my beautiful ugly,

with some exceptionally,

gorgeous weather this Summer,

not too hot and humid,

mostly sunny and breezy.

Wear your shorts but,

not sweat your butt off weather.

I have had,

a difficult week.

My chubby one,

has been sick,

it isn’t life threatening,

but, it did entail,

a visit to the vet,

and since we weren’t sure,

what it was and how serious it was,

I had to go,

the emergency vet route.

He is recovering,

he is on meds,

and,

eating,

a new millionaire food,

that he likes.

I spent Wednesday,

evening and night,

at the emergency vet clinic,

he received excellent care,

the staff and vets are terrific,

they care .

Of course these things,

come at a cost.

I left half a paycheck there.

I will not be buying,

a new mattress right away,

but, that is ok.

George is still here,

with me,

recovering and happy.

If this had happened,

2 years ago,

I am not sure,

I could have swung this.

I met this amazing woman,

in the waiting room,

she runs a rescue for cats,

she went to buy us dinner,

and brought me a copy of,

Vanity Fair,

so I could read something,

in those long hours of waiting.

I broke my own rule, always carry a book or my kindle, always

Nadya, that is her name,

when I said “this will cost me a fortune”

replied

“he is your baby and you don’t have to send him to college”

Of course, she is right.

I had a choice,

I had the money,

I have a job and credit,

I have caring friends,

one of which drove to,

Verdun from Pointe-Claire to pick me up,

and then drove me to Lachine,

and did I mention my friend is in her seventies

George and I are blessed with much love,

in our lives.

Friends are life’s greatest blessing.

The thing with George,

and Dude before him,

and Bud and Puce,

before that,

they aren’t my babies,

I know that,

but, they are such precious beasts,

friends who I have taken,

responsibility for.

their love is strong,

and my life is better,

for their presence,

including the hard parts,

their illnesses,

occasional wrecking of my stuff,

and ultimately their passing.

Every part of living with my cats,

present and past,

makes me a better,

person.

That is worth so much.

Taking on an animal,

adopting,

is a long term commitment,

through the good,

the bad,

the heart wrenching.

But when my big guy,

lies on my belly and purrs,

sleeps the sleep of the trusting,

when he greats me at the door,

when he wakes me to tell me,

about the birds…

and on Wednesday,

when he let me put him,

in the carrier after initial,

resistance,

when I told him,

“we have to get you cured big guy”

when dogs were barking at the vets,

and the sound of my voice,

calmed him.

That trust he has in me,

the love he has,

I need to live up to that,

and be there for him,

always.

I have to take the hard stuff,

with the joy.

That is love,

of a human or an animal,

love is love.

Laws regarding pets,

need to be changed,

people should not have to choose,

between their beasts,

and eating or paying rent,

they should not be forced,

to choose between finding,

a place to live and their friends.

Thank you, all of you,

for your love and prayers,

for me and George.

It means more than you can ever know.

Be well you all.

Later girls, BB

Charlie Cunningham a UK musician worth checking out

Hello everyone.

It is an absolutely gorgeous day,

here in my beautiful ugly.

It is sunny and the breeze is gentle,

perfect weather, not hot and humid,

which is usual for us at this time,

of year,

let us be grateful and breathe it in.

Long happy sigh.

Last night Catherine and I and her brother,

went to the Montreal Jazz Festival.

We saw a show at Club Soda,

a musician from the U.K,

Charlie Cunningham.

It was so chill and lovely,

to be out, listening to live music,

having a couple of beers,

holding my dearest’s hand.

Charlie’s music is lovely,

mellow, melodic, acoustic guitar,

with some folk tones,

some flamenco influences,

he is charming and cute,

which never hurts.

We had dinner before the show,

and we walked back to Catherine’s,

a great night for a walk.

It was a special evening.

It had been so long since,

I had sat listening to music,

grooving.

I know I say it a lot,

but, I it bears repeating,

I am happy.

This is a great time,

in my life.

My heart is bursting with gratitude.

Have a great weekend, you all.

Later girls,

BB

I got up before the sun.

No one woke me,

it wasn’t George,

maybe the rain,

I don’t know.

But I woke with this,

song in my head.

It has been a busy,

week, so far.

Yesterday, I tuned in to,

Zoom lunch time service,

at my church.

Every Wednesday,

there is a midday service.

I haven’t really been able,

to make it in months.

But, yesterday,

I thought I will worship,

during lunch.

I won’t lie,

I have struggled with church,

lately.

I have wondered,

if the work I do,

is not mission enough.

I love the people in,

my church.

I also loved the people,

in my previous church,

but, I struggle,

with organized religion.

I have issues,

with just how welcome,

people are in churches,

in spite of the all are welcome,

signs and hymns.

I spent most of my life,

not going to church,

and then,

it must be six years now,

I felt God calling me,

to church,

and I went.

It was/is an important,

turning point in my life.

I received many gifts,

from church over the years.

I made friends,

met some of the best people,

ever.

I felt peace and fullness,

in my heart.

I have also often felt,

frustration,

at immobilism,

in some churches,

and lack of reverence,

in others.

I have regularly,

over these six years or so,

wondered what God,

was asking me to do,

was I really making a difference,

would I not be better off,

just living my life,

helping people with,

love and kindness,

whenever I could?

Yesterday, I signed on,

and was so glad to see,

the lovely faithful women

it was all women, yesterday,

and assist in a small way,

by sharing music,

from You Tube.

I turned to my favourite,

modern worship song,

New Wine by Hillsong worship.

My heart swelled,

this song was instrumental,

in my faith journey.

In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making new wine
In the soil
I now surrender
You are breaking new ground

So I yield to You into Your careful hand
When I trust You I don’t need to understand

Make me Your vessel
Make me an offering
Make me whatever You want me to be
I came here with nothing
But all You have given me
Jesus bring new wine out of me.

It helps for us control freaks,

to remember that,

we can’t control,

life,

and it matters not,

if you are a believer or not.

Live to help,

live to make a difference,

live to love.

These are my early morning,

musings.

Thanks for listening.

Be well you all.

Later girls,

BB

There is no greater agony then bearing an untold story inside you- Maya Angelou

Hello everyone,

I hope you are all well.

It is a gorgeous,

Friday afternoon,

here in,

my beautiful ugly.

It has been a busy week.

It will be a busy weekend,

some social stuff,

some church stuff,

some creative stuff,

and some vaguely,

work related stuff.

I came across this,

Maya Angelou quote,

I love Maya Angelou,

and this quote is so true.

I feel, sometimes,

like I have years of backed up,

stories,

in me.

They can’t all be expressed,

in story form,

blogging,

or photography.

This brings me to painting.

I had no idea until,

a work activity last year,

that I would enjoy,

actually,

love,

painting.

I don’t draw well,

never have,

maybe with a drawing class,

I might learn,

but, I am not at this point,

in my life,

really interested in that,

but, I love, covering,

canvas with paint,

blending colours,

layering paint on top,

of paint.

I know nothing about it,

I am not an artist,

but, I love it.

I do it for no one,

but me.

I am not looking,

to turn it into,

money, a new job,

sideline,

no, nothing of the kind.

I just love to stand in front,

of the easel,

plop paint onto my,

palette,

and,

not think,

just paint.

I do it,

in my office,

barefoot,

in a t-shirt and shorts,

I have a few paint sploshes,

on my house shorts,

and I think,

before I am done,

there may be a few more.

I don’t analyse,

I don’t give them names,

but I do sign them,

Cafi.

I know painters,

some who are quite,

renowned,

and some who should be.

I never thought,

I would paint.

My talents,

didn’t lie in that,

area.

But, I find that for me,

it is about the joy,

of colour, the quiet,

the throwing of emotions,

out on canvas.

Maybe, just maybe,

it is about untold stories.

Have an amazing weekend,

you all.

Later girls,

BB

Mom and I, downtown for the day, a few years back

Happy Birthday, Mom.

Bonne Fete, Maman.

It’s been almost 2 years,

since you left us.

I think about you,

every day.

I miss you most,

when I want to share,

what I think about,

a book I’m reading,

watching an incredible,

TV series.

and, sometimes,

when I would like to share,

something that is going on,

a frustration or a joy.

The apartment is amazing,

you would like it.

George has gotten fatter,

that is on me, not him.

The family are all doing well,

older but, fine.

The kids are no longer kids,

your sister is coming for a visit tomorrow,

she has only come once since,

I moved in, but, Covid has made,

visiting more,

difficult.

Everyone is hanging in,

people mention you,

a lot, always with a smile,

often related ,

to books and reading.

I have joined a couple,

of book clubs.

I finally read,

The Fleeing Woman,

you were so right,

it is magnificent.

The British have remade,

All Creatures Great And Small,

it is wonderful,

the young man who,

played Leslie in the Durells Of Corfu,

is Tristan in All Creatures,

he is terrific, they all are,

you would really love it.

Today is your birthday,

you would be turning 82,

you would hate me sharing that, but you know me, I share, I have no issues with getting older, the alternative is much worse.

It’s a rainy grey day,

you would probably be reading.

I might make a fritatta for dinner,

in your honour.

I know you are in a good place,

I hope you can see how happy,

I am.

I so wish you had met Catherine.

You would like her,

she loves to read,

she is an introvert,

but, she laughs,

easily and often,

she loves, without,

weirdness, without conditions,

she has has lots of style.

I love her, you would too.

I talk to her about you.

I have taken up painting,

it helps evacuate…things.

The job is good,

always new things to learn.

We don’t have to wear masks,

so much anymore,

but, Covid is still around.

I haven’t caught it,

but, I will, I expect I will,

I am vaccinated and healthy,

so, fingers crossed it won’t be too strong.

I hope wherever you are,

that,

there are books and chocolate cookies,

and people you like to talk to,

or just to sit in,

quiet companionship with.

I love you mom,

I miss you.

Your Caroline.

The first photo is my office as it looks now and the second is before I moved in, with the lovely cream coloured blank canvas.

Hello everyone,

it is Friday morning,

the chill of the last few days,

seems to be turning.

Some hot and humid weather,

is on it’s way,

Montreal in the Summer,

hot and steamy.

Last weekend was my birthday,

to say I was spoiled,

would be an understatement.

I was wined and dined,

given fun, thoughtful and useful gifts.

Books, food, means of growing squirrel proof plants,

cards to buy art supplies,

cards to go to the movies,

a tripod for my paintings,

beautiful wood frames to put art in,

Tupperware,

so spoiled, so loved.

The last year has been,

so good.

I have been blessed in my life,

with friends and family,

challenging and satisfying work.

I have had lots of love,

relationships that I grew as a result of,

mostly good.

But, the last year,

has been,

the happiest,

I have ever been.

I love my home,

so much.

I am surrounded by love,

friends,

I feel safe and happy.

I have a job that challenges me,

that allows me a sense of,

making a difference.

My spiritual and intellectual life,

is rich.

And, I have Catherine.

I was happy with my job,

my friends,

my faith,

before Catherine,

but, since…

my life has changed,

she adds so much to my world,

I feel heard, I feel listened to,

(these are slightly different things)

I never feel judged,

I never feel disrespected,

I never feel that my choices,

are questionable.

I feel loved,

she makes me laugh,

she makes me think,

she is…

amazing.

I wish my mom,

could have met her.

I do think,

I know it sounds hoky,

that mom would love Catherine,

that they would get each other.

Someone asked me,

if there was anything in this relationship,

that I needed more of,

and the answer is,

not at all.

Have a great long weekend,

you all.

Later girls,

BB