It’s the little things,
that make me happy,
and/or,
ape shit,
depends on the day,
I guess.
Some days,
a good,
cup of coffee,
a blue sky,
are enough,
to lift me up,
allow me to soar,
even.
Time to read,
laugh,
pet the cat,
these things,
make me happy,
and,
then,
some,
silly,
inconsequential,
event,
remark,
the premature death of my cordless mouse, the state of municipal politics, a dumb question, whatever
and,
I am,
in deep funk,
sometimes,
tethering on the irrational,
even rage.
I don’t know,
if I always was,
like this,
or,
if it’s a result,
of,
pre-menopause,
I don’t know.
I do know,
that I am much,
more conscious of it,
then ever before.
Is that a result,
of prolonged,
navel gazing?
a by product,
of nothing much,
to do?
maybe,
don’t know.
Funny,
I think,
the better,
I get to know,
myself,
the less I know.
I know, I know,
clear as mud
😛
I’m kind of lost,
right now.
aimless,
narrowed down,
what I don’t want,
but,
having trouble,
articulating,
what I do want,
is that a new,
set of circumstances,
or has it always been?
Do any of us,
ever know what we want?
or,
do we get.
caught up in ,
something,
dragged into,
something,
happen upon,
something,
and,
that,
something,
brings us along,
the road,
’til the next,
something.
Or,
do we stay with things,
because of obligation,
or fear,
or habit,
or laziness,
I think I may be,
lazy,
easily,
bored,
or,
I am delusional,
and,
think,
I get bored,
and,
in reality,
I’m just,
scared,
and,
want to hide out.
I don’t know,
but,
this,
I do,
know,
the minutia and ephemera,
of life,
isn’t important,
the petty annoyances,
the slights,
the small spills,
but,
the little things,
liking petting the cat,
hugging your mom,
having dinner with your friends,
taking time to be kind,
with strangers,
stopping,
looking around,
playing cards with the kids,
kissing your girl,
with passion,
with meaning,
with softness,
and,
joy,
these are small things,
too,
but,
these are the things,
you remember,
that make life,
worth living.
For me,
I guess,
what I am seeing,
and,
in a meandering and convoluted,
way,
trying to convey,
it’s about the right,
little things.
Later girls,
BB
