Tag: church

Life is all about-challenges

    Happy 2019 to all of you.

    The first week of the year is done, woo hoo.

    Here’s hoping you all had some great holidays.

    Mine were lovely.

    Christmas Eve was church and mom and a movie,

    also fancy hors d’oeuvres and French wine,

    life is good.

    On Christmas day we had lunch with our,

    good friends.

    On New Year’s eve we were invited to a party,

    some wonderful neighbours of ours,

    had a party for a few of the neighbours,

    it was lovely, it was luxe,

    but also,

    super friendly,

    a great way to bring in the New Year.

    New Year’s day we had friends over,

    for lunch and on the 2 nd,

    I went to Burlington with ,

    a dear friend.

    So, my holidays were great,

    a combination,

    of social and quiet.

    I expect 2019 will be a year,

    of great change,

    and –challenges.

    I will be meeting shortly,

    with a career counsellor,

    makes me sound like I am in high school, lol

    I need help in going forward,

    career wise,

    I no longer want to work in,

    call centers,

    customer service,

    market research,

    or retail.

    I have done that,

    and I have the greatest of respect for people,

    who go to work everyday,

    in difficult fields,

    often.

    in not great conditions,

    and, with,

    little,

    or no -respect received,

    it’s hard,

    really hard.

    I find myself at a point in my life,

    where,

    I want to feel like I am making,

    a difference,

    like I am contributing,

    to the world, to society.

    I don’t need it to be easy,

    I need it to have meaning.

    Meaning to me,

    I want something that lines up,

    with my beliefs,

    with my core values,

    of social justice,

    of love of your fellow human,

    I want something,

    that will enable me to use,

    my language skills,

    my people skills,

    my life experience,

    I also want something,

    that will allow me to be who,

    I am.

    It took me a long time,

    to be,

    me.

    I like who I am,

    I would just like to be,

    an employed,

    me.

    I hope over the next little while,

    to find some answers or opportunities,

    and to continue on ,

    with my creative projects.

    Here is wishing all of you,

    A Happy, healthy, prosperous, productive,

    New Year.

    Be well, my friends

    Later Girls

    BB

    the stillness and the feeling of…

    Good afternoon, you all,
today is Saturday,
the Saturday before Easter,
Holy Saturday.

I did something this week,
that I have never done,
before,
that I hope to do,
again.

I spent all night,
in my church.
From 7 PM on Thursday,
to 6 AM on Friday.


First,
there was music,
singing,
beautiful, melancholic.

and then numbers,
dwindled.
 
I had company,
I spent time,
chatting,
praying,
reading,
I read all, the gospel of John.
I prayed by myself,
I prayed with friends,
in person,
and on face time,
around 4 AM,
I was tired,
but,
I could not sleep.

I never felt alone,
or lonely,
or afraid.

Our church is in,
the center of the city,
surrounded by bars,
and restaurants,
a police station,
across,
the street.
It is a neighbourhood,
of great affluence,
and commercial activity,
and, also of hardship,
and abject poverty,
of homelessness,
of opulence.

It is to me,
the very epitome,
of what I refer to,
affectionately,
as,
the beautiful ugly.

Within the stillness of,
the sanctuary,
especially near,
the stained glass,
windows,
I heard screams,
of joy,
of anger,
sirens and horns,
laughter.

Thursday night,
bar crawling,
a long weekend,
dawning.

But, in me,
perfect peace.

It is hard to describe,
how,
I feel in that place,
cradled in ...
love

As the sun rose,
we left,
M and I,
she was driving home,
and I took the metro.
Practically empty,
were the subway,
and,
the streets,
I came into my quiet,
apartment,
mom asleep in her room,
I slipped into bed,
and slept.

It was wonderful.

I wish for all of you,
the stillness,
the peace,
the feeling of love,
cradling you.

Happy Easter, a blessed Passover

Later girls,
BB

    I wonder what he would say…

    Bookish butch
    Bookish butch

    Good morning lovely people,

    I hope this missive finds you all,

    well.

    We have been,

    getting signs and even,

    days of Spring,

    here in my beautiful ugly.

    Bright sun, windy,

    coldish days,

    but it feels like,

    old man Winter is about to,

    give way to barely walking,

    Spring.

    I love the Spring,

    it isn’t as magnificent here as,

    other places,

    I’m sure,

    but,

    it is the end of ,

    the cold,

    the dark,

    the dangerously slippery.

    Spring is about,

    hope,

    and life.

    I love Spring.

    I also have lots of,

    complex memories,

    about Spring,

    my dad died in the Spring,

    my two best friends,

    were born in the Spring,

    I spent a whole Spring,

    three years ago,

    recovering from major surgery.

    Lots of competing emotions,

    make me feel,

    at times,

    raw,

    at times,

    euphoric.

    This Spring finds me happy,

    with challenging work,

    that may or may not,

    lead to something more,

    permanent.

    So much to learn,

    always.

     

    My church occupies,

    more and more,

    of my time.

    That is a good thing.

    I love the people I interact with,

    at church,

    through church.

    I feel at home there,

    appreciated and that,

    my contributions,

    can enrich the community.

    I have felt love and friendship,

    at church.

    I have gotten spiritual,

    sustenance.

    I continue to explore,

    to read,

    to question,

    to develop and build,

    a relationship with God.

     

    Last year,

    at this time,

    I figured I would go through,

    the bible once and I would,

    have a good understanding,

    a handle on it.

    That was both incredibly,

    naive,

    and a little bit,

    arrogant,

    on my part.

    It really isn’t that simple.

     

    I have,

    through all this,

    felt,

    that my exploration,

    my faith,

    has purpose.

    To my life and greater purpose,

    as well.

    Purpose is vital.

    I have found part of,

    my purpose at St-Jax’s.

    Being a multi dimensional,

    human being,

    purpose can,

    no, must!

    come from various sources:

    work, family, friendship, community.

    I have been blessed in this life,

    in family,

    in friendship,

    in love.

     

    Today, is the birthday,

    of my wonderful departed friend,

    the anarchist,

    I can only wonder what he would think,

    about my beliefs, my exploration.

    Those of you who knew him,

    know he called himself an,

    atheist.

    Above all else he was a good friend,

    who listened, who heard,

    who argued and loved,

    He would have torn down,

    lame arguments,

    and forced me to be better,

    to be stronger.

    He respected me,

    as I respected him.

    He loved me,

    I loved him.

    Friendship is a precious thing.

    I do wonder what he would have said…

     

    Be well you all.

    Later girls,

    BB