Hello everyone,
it’s very early,
the sun isn’t up,
but, I have been,
for a while.
Mom has been gone,
for seventeen days,
today.
It’s so hard,
so many things to do,
so many changes to,
live,
through.
I woke up well before,
the sunrise,
the sun rises late,
in October,
it’s 6:05 AM and,
it’s still not up.
The sky is black,
the air is cold.
I miss mom,
so much,
and I feel teary,
at the thought of her,
but,
I know the time,
will come,
soon,
when I also will,
smile,
remembering,
the many things we,
shared,
the things that were ours,
as a family,
with my dad,
and the things that were,
just,
us.
The looks and jokes,
the food we cooked,
for each other,
our rituals,
our traditions.
This year has been,
so hard,
a year that will fall into,
the dark column,
in the final accounting,
of years.
And yet,
even in this bad year,
there are good things,
the people I’ve met,
my new job…
the love,
my friends,
my community,
have shown me,
in these dark days.
But, this,
this is,
the hardest part,
of a hard year.
Today is mom’s funeral.
I’ve been to funerals,
I’ve lived through funerals,
this is different.
There will never be another her.
She was/is loved.