I could have called this post, sex and the single butch,
or love and the single butch
but, this single butch seeks romance, above else.
Ah, romance, the courting and ultimate seduction of a woman, it’s what makes life worth living.
The problem is I have not been very successful at it for years.
When I was young I was something of a stud.
It was about swagger and bravado.
Of course, it was all an act, who knows anything at that age.
But, since I got top marks in high school drama class, I was believable.
I managed to convince a few women that I had more experience and was more worldly than I really was.
It was great, I learned so much, and a truly good time was had by all.
I was goal oriented, I wanted to learn how to please a woman.
My studly life was over when I met a special woman, who I loved.
We were happy for many years, and then, unhappy for many years.
I wasn’t a very good partner, but, I was and am her friend.
I am grateful to her, for her patience and friendship.
I lived with guilt and hurt for many years and aside from a few meaningless sexual encounters,
I lived without love in a romantic sense.
I was in a coma.
A few years ago I fell madly in love, I really thought she was the one,
she wasn’t,
she broke my heart.
I don’t think she meant to, we just weren’t on the same page.
She was wrong for me, she wasn’t even a reader,
can you imagine?
Anyway, to say I am gun shy and confused would be an understatement.
Does the possibility of romance still exist for a middle aged bookish butch?
The world is more open to sexual minorities than it ever has been.
People identify themselves with greater ease as gay, bisexual, whatever.
Sexual encounters are always possible.
But, true connection body, heart, soul and mind?
Flowers and poetry is it possible still?
Followed by love, not perfection, love.
I hope and believe it is,
and this butch in spite of numerous bruises and strike outs,
remains optimistic.
Tell me girls,
do you?
Am I crazy and naive?
Thanks for reading this and sharing my thoughts and ramblings.
Later guys, next time
Books, Books, Books.
BB
