Hello all,
sorry,
for the quiet of late,
BB,
is in prep mode,
for the surgery,
you know.
So…
a combination,
of reaching for Zen.
and,
freaking out
đŸ™‚
This morning,
the hospital,
called,
I have an appointment,
for the pre op tests,
that means the op,
will follow,
soon,
after,
I’m good with that,
I mean I’m scared,
shitless,
but,
good with that,
you know?
I have been writing,
a lot,
I have taken a bunch,
of pics,
I have done lots,
of research about,
hormones,
things to eat,
while,
recovering,
that sort of thing.
I imagine,
all of us,
handle it differently,
the waiting.
Some pray,
I guess,
some,
haul up by themselves,
me?
well,
I talk about it,
I write about it,
I obsess about it,
until,
I can get,
my head,
my heart,
around it,
control,
my reactions,
it is my process,
it is my way,
I don’t advocate it being,
anyone else’s way,
it’s just mine,
I reach in,
I reach out,
I get every bit of info,
I can,
I fill in the variables,
and then,
I am ready,
doesn’t mean the outcome,
will be what,
I planned,
or how,
I envisioned,
it,
but,
once I have my picture,
in place,
my equation,
‘solved’,
I’m good.
On Friday,
I will ask more questions,
and,
then I will be good to go.
I have read,
the booklet the hospital,
gave me,
three times,
I know what to bring,
what to expect,
I know,
to tell people,
loved ones,
friends,
no flowers.
Apparently,
they are dangerous for infection,
not so much,
for me,
I expect,
I’m not sick,
but,
some people,
who share the wing,
have some,
badass cancer shit going on,
so no flowers,
please.
Later girls,
BB
