Desire and words, what do we think?

Those who restrain desire, Do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained--William Blake

Desire: (v) Wish, long for ardently, yearn for; express a wish, request- n.  longing; sexual appetite, lust; wish, request; thing desired.

Lust: (n) sexual desire, esp. considered as excessive or sinful; (fig) intense desire. Lust(v) feel strong (esp sexual) desire.

**The definitions, courtesy of an old, Penguin Concise Dictionary of the English Language, I had lying around the bookstore**

In the last few posts,

we have been,

exploring the erotic,

our conception of it,

as well as type,

and whether we have one,

or even believe in it.

I say we,

not because,

I have,

delusions of grandeur,

and have commenced using,

the royal we:-)

No,

we,

as in,

us,

we have a little informal,

discussion group going.

I appreciate and solicit,

the feedback.

Some of you comment,

via the blog,

some via email,

because you wish to,

remain,

anonymous,

some of you don’t comment,

and are thinking about it,

don’t be shy,

go ahead,

wade in,

the water is warm.

Some of you, are hoping I get back to books soon, and I will.

but,

for the purposes of this post,

and others in the future,

I have added,

a new category,

What do we think,

who knows where it will take us,

it’s all good.

Tonight,

and lately,

I have been thinking,

about words and how,

they heighten,

or suppress,

desire.

Last year,

I dated a woman,

for a while,

we had been friends,

and took what we thought,

would be the next logical step;

dating,

as a means to,

a romantic relationship.

Just so you know, we are no longueur friends so I can’t offend her, she doesn’t read my blog, plus, I will not reveal personal details or info, I don’t believe in the old kiss and tell.  I am using this anecdote strictly to illustrate how words mean different things to different people. End of caveat:-)

One night after,

a lovely date,

I sent her,

a flirtatious email,

and I signed it,

with lust.

In my mind,

I was saying,

that I wanted her.

To me this was good,

lustful,

intense desire,

between like intended,

adults,

is great,

and should be,

sought out and expressed.

Her reaction was,

mercurial,

to her,

the word lust,

was negative, ugly,

practically,

perverse.

So, a sexy email,

meant to lightly,

titillate,

became the ramblings,

of a dirty ole butch,

I am barely,

exaggerating.

To me the word was positive,

and meant in an,

intent desire way,

to her it meant,

sinful and perverse.

Was it a result,

of linguistic and cultural,

difference?

I don’t think so.

Did she have more Catholic guilt,

than I?

No.

I believe it was,

a trigger word for her,

obviously,

conjured up bad images,

or memories.

It was also,

an excuse,

because the desire,

wasn’t there.

Mine wasn’t either,

I was trying too hard,

I figured good friends,

make good lovers,

not always,

and not in this case.

In this case,

it turns out we weren’t even,

good friends.

I learned to be careful,

with the l word:-)

But, you know,

honestly,

I don’t want to be careful,

I want to use words,

to express my feelings,

and my desires,

I guess I need a woman,

who interprets them,

the way I do,

who gets nuance,

and word play,

who knows that every word,

well, practically,

has more than one meaning.

I am not telling you this so you can say, Ah poor BB and her pathetic love life, over the past few months of sharing the rocky road of dating, people have told me stories that are way worse than mine, dating is hell.

What I am asking is,

do you think,

desire should be restrained?

Also, don’t you think people,

attach both too much,

and not enough,

attention and meaning,

to words?

Think about it.

Later girls,

BB

**Btw, the Habs won :-)**