Category: My Ramblings

Who I am and what I think about life, love and the world we live in.

Freezing rain, day off

The weather this morning was dismal.

Freezing rain and skating rink sidewalks.

Mom,

who usually opens on Fridays was spooked.

Since, she developed arthritis in her hips,

she has become weary of falling.

Since, I didn’t want to work a twelve hour day,

in which I would probably make very little money,

 and put up with weirdos.

Plus, Thursday had been very good.

I decided to take a freezing rain day.

My cold is better but, I’m still not 100%.

My lips look like refugees from a Leper colony.

The day off will help the cold and the lips.

In six years I have taken two snow days.

I took more,

 when I had a collective bargaining agreement.

When you own a small business,

you don’t work,

no money comes in.

I have seen both sides of the fence,

I worked for a large telecommunications company for 14 years,

I have owned my very small used bookstore for six years.

A stable union job,

 means health insurance and paid vacation and bosses.

Owning your own business means,

 less money, no vacation and dealing with customers.

I like customers,

 I did when I worked as a customer service rep,

and I still do.

I miss the pay but, I don’t miss the structure.

 I like the freedoms that my oddball little business affords me,

There are tradeoffs in both,

I guess it’s a question of what is more important to you,

as an individual.

Today, I stay home cuddle up to The Dude and read.

Later girls

BB

Pop music, helps

It’s pretty cold today.

I am reminded of a quote from Frank Zappa,

Frank Zappa Crappa,

 of don’t you eat that yellow snow fame,

I read this years ago,

 so I may be fuzzy on the details.

Zappa was being interviewed,

and was asked about his impression of Montreal.

Here’s what he said:

It’s so cold in Montreal the fuckin’ snot freezes in your nose.

The man had obviously been to Montreal,

possibly in February.

It’s not quite that cold right now, but…

It’s coming.

What I wanted to talk about today is song lyrics.

I don’t listen to nearly as much music as I used to,

not quite sure why,

probably a combination of factors.

Since I walk to work and do most of my shopping on foot,

I use public transit sparingly,

so I don’t listen to it on the metro or bus.

I like quiet when I walk around.

Sort of futile,

 in my noisy neighborhood but,

hope springs eternal.

Sufice it to say,

 I am not as up on pop music as I could be.

A few months ago,

 a friend of mine remarked that pop music was in rare form right now.

“Really?” says I “How so?”

and she explains to me that Lady Gaga and the like are damn good.

I agree.

Lady Gaga is awesome,

 that Bad Romance has got some dynamite lyrics,

and raw emotion.

From memory, not quoting

         I want your love and I want your revenge

         You and me could write a Bad Romance.

         I want your ugly, I want your disease

 

Yep,

 a far cry from Duran Duran.

What I like most about pop music is that underneath all the cliches,

there is real feeling.

I don’t think anyone would confuse Bon Jovi with Leonard Cohen,

but,

I for one,

 like both.

            It’s my life,

            It’s now or never,

            I ain’t gonna live forever

Has real symetry and reasonance and it is inspiring.

Ditto for

                 Baby I have been here before

 
 

Pop songs are a common language .

                 I know this room, I’ve walked this floor
                 I used to live alone before I knew you

 

Everyone knows Lady Gaga and Bon Jovi.

Pop songs help us remember parts of our lives,

they form a common generational thread and they help to bridge gaps.

 They help us know that we are not alone and that sometimes

               Love hurts,

               or Lifts us up where we belong ,

               That Everybody Hurts and Everybody dances Now and then.

Put on some music,

 dance like noone is watching,

maybe have a good cry,

smile even though your heart is breaking,

get it out, let it in.

Have fun, combat the cold with the warmth of music and words.

Later Girls

BB

 

              

 

Happy American Thanksgiving and wrestling with postmodernism

It’s cold and I have a cold,

 a bad combination.

Bad but, not uncommon.

November SUCKS.

I hope my American friends have some nice weather.

Happy Thanksgiving, to those of you south of the border.

I have been reading Genderqueer,

 the book I took out of the library a few weeks back,

reminds me I better renew,

I’m reading this book and I gotta tell you,

fascinating stuff this post modernism.

I’m not sure how much of it I’m getting,

a head cold,

 may not be an ideal terrain for the assimilation of new ideas.

A head cold,

 combined with a few decades since my college days,

makes it all the more tough.

But, one thing about me,

I love a challenge,

 especially an intellectual one.

So I’ll keep plugging away.

I’ll keep you posted.

Later girls

BB

Philosophy, Waters style

I have a cold and it was the full moon and I’m mucho hormonal.
Plus it’s been cold.
All in all, Not a great weekend.
On the plus side,
The Habs beat the Maple Leafs 2-0 on Saturday,
 and the Alouettes are Grey Cup bound.
The Grey Cup,
in case anyone is interested,
is the Canadian equivalent of the Superbowl
and this year will be the 98 Th,
so not a new thing on our Canadian landscape.
I wanted to share with you all a quote I came across on Bookshelf Porn.
If any of you are not familiar with Bookshelf Porn,
you should be,
 you will love it.
Beautiful pictures of books and or bookshelves.
Mind Blowing.
So without further ado the quote:
We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them.

– John Waters

Rarely have I found a quote to be truer or more provocatively put.

I realise I may be preaching to the choir here,

because who but bookish types would read this blog, anyway.

A while back,

I wrote a blog post about,

 how kindness may be more important to me than a physical attraction,

excerpt:

So, here’s where I feel like a Martian,

to me physical attraction grows with how

smart, interesting and kind a person is.

 Obviously, there can be no repugnance factor, but,

really it grows. 

Maybe what I meant to say is,

 no books, no chance.

There could be exceptions,

a pile of New Yorkers with a library card on top,

that would work.

A bookshelf filled with the complete works of  Dr. Phil,

would on the other hand,

 work as well as a room full of taxidermy.

I am not a snob,

 I could deal with a Danielle Steele and a few Star Trek novels,

after all,

 I have been known to read romance novels

 and occasionally,

Cosmo,

I read it for the pictures.

But, like my man Waters,

no books, no nooky.

I love succinctness.

But, it could be the fever.

Later girls

BB

All in good jest.

P.S the new image was borrowed from bookshelf porn

Thanks for reading

Well, it’s a grey day and I have no hockey news,

you all try not to be too disappointed.

This post is my 100 th.

A major milestone in my blogging life,

Does this mean syndication and a life of reruns will now be mine?

OK, forget the weird television humour.

First off,

 thank yous are in order.

My friend Mikey, who encouraged me to start this blog,

by saying he knew that some people would definitely be interested,

in my views and opinions.

He helped me set up,

 and with the logistics,

 as well as moral support.

Mikey, is one of the good guys. 

The biggest thank you,

 goes to,

 all of you who read this blog.

Some comment,

 some don’t.

Some of you have been with me,

 practically from the beginning,

some recently.

Some are good friends,

 who comment in person or via email,

some are total strangers at the other end of the world,

some are somewhere in between.

It’s all good.

I hope that in some odd way or other,

this blog makes you smile or makes you think,

 or in some small way informs you.

I know that there is much debate out there,

 as to what a book blog should be.

Many readers,

 bloggers,

 think a book blog should be about books,

and only books.

My favourites,

 are the ones,

 where I get a feeling for the person behind the keyboard.

If I want to read a “stranger’s” view,

 I’ll read The New York Times book review,

and I do.

I find the reading of book blogs more intimate,

 and I trust some bloggers much more than traditional reviews.

I would imagine that over the past few months,

you have gotten an idea of what I am like.

As a bookseller,

 I get to recommend based on a person’s tastes and interests,

I love that.

When someone comes back,

 and tells me how much they enjoyed a book I recommended,

it always brings a smile to my face.

I say to myself,

 job well done.

With the blog,

 it’s more personal,

 because these are the books I choose,

that I care about.

Oddly, the posts I feel most passion about,

 are rarely the ones I get feedback on.

I get feedback on the funny ones,

 Elements Of Butch Style etc,

or book reviews.

I wonder if that means,

 that readers would prefer I stick to those,

 and not talk about,

 feelings and family and nostalgia and book love?

I don’t know,

What do you girls think?

I have enjoyed this journey so far and intend to keep going.

Hopefully you will stay with me and tell me if I slip.

Thank You.

Later girls

BB

Post 100 looming

Wow it’s 11 degrees and raining.

In November,

 in Montreal.

Obviously those Tea Party types are correct,

 global warming is a liberal pinko invention,

and conspiracy.

You have to wonder,

 who is voting for these people.

Probably the same people,

 who think Stephen Harper is a strong Prime Minister.

As the kids say,

whatever!

I am afraid I don’t have much to say,

which is weird usually you can’t shut me up.

My next post will be number 100,

a milestone of sorts.

I will have to chew on that,

 and come up with something special.

’til then.

Later girls

BB

Understanding, a never ending Quest?

The weather is fantastic.

Blue sky and just a little bit nippy.

The weather people,

 are saying twelve degrees on the weekend.

Amazing.

I have a lot of stuff on my mind, lately.

Today is Remembrance Day.

I am always saddened,

when I think of all the young lives snuffed out so early.

I am not a militaristic type but,

I respect the sacrifice and the courage.

Speaking of courage,

I have been reading a lot of stuff on transitioning.

It takes guts in this world to be yourself.

Really being yourself,

 standing up for what you believe in,

not being a sheep.

If being yourself means,

 something as potentially misunderstood,

 as physically changing genders,

it takes real guts.

Note I said physically changing,

 because it seems to me,

 that transgendered people become the gender they have always been,

inside, deep inside,

whether or not they have surgery.

I realise I may be stating the obvious, but,

the obvious,

 is sometimes,

 not so obvious,

 even,

 elusive.

Sort of like,

 common sense.

I also think,

 it can’t be easy,

 to take the steps necessary,

 to become what you are,

in a way that works for you.

I don’t know if I am being clear,

 and the last thing I want is to offend anybody.

This is a touchy subject for many people,

 and creates polarisation and even name calling on both sides.

I don’t have a side.

I have never seen being a lesbian as a choice,

 anymore than being a woman.

I can’t stand being reduced to one part of myself,

 and I try not to do it to others.

I also think it’s important not to take everything so seriously.

That’s why I blog about The Elements of Butch Style for instance,

a little bit of levity goes a long way,

 in understanding ourselves and each other.

I like the line from La Cage Aux Folles, the musical,

        I am what I am,  and what I am needs no excuses.

Thanks for listening and helping in my quest for understanding.

Later girls

BB

A rant, on how the Canadiens are not just a hockey team

The weather?

Not so great.

The Habs won one and then lost one.

On Thursday night I had dinner with a friend.

The plasma screen,

 above the bar,

 was showing hockey highlights and scores.

My friend saw me watching and said

 “don’t you think it’s silly that they named a street after the Canadiens,

 I mean they are only a hockey team”

My reaction?

Outrage.

Only a hockey team!

I calmed down after a deep breath and said,

 “not only a hockey team, a Mythical hockey team”

The Habs are not just a hockey team,

 they are the greatest hockey team of all time.

They have won 24 Stanley Cups.

The second winningest team?

The Toronto Maple Leafs with 13.

The New York Yankees have won 27 world championships.

The Boston Celtics have 17 World championships.

These my friends,

 are Mythical Teams.

Both New York and Boston,

 are sports towns.

New York has The Yankees and The Mets in baseball,

 the Knicks in basketball,

the Rangers in hockey, the Giants and Jets in football.

Boston has The Celtics, The Red Sox in baseball,

the Bruins in hockey, the Patriots in football.

In Montreal we have hockey.

We had a baseball team, the Expos.

We have a very good CFL (Canadian Football League) team, the Alouettes.

But, we care pretty much only about hockey.

The Habs are every one’s team.

English, French and everyone in between.

If you want to understand Montreal,

 you’ve got to understand hockey.

Canada is a great country in many ways.

Canada has done more than it’s part in the World Wars,

something that bears mentioning at this time of year.

We brought the world, peacekeepers and Celine Dion.

Neil Young and Alanis Morisette.

Joni Mitchell and Micheal J Fox.

Insulin and the mapping of the human brain.

John Candy and Mike Myers.

But, the greatest thing we ever did was invent hockey,

and the greatest team that ever played it are,

 The Montreal Canadiens.

The Habs, The Flying Frenchmen, The Sainte-Flanelle, the Bleue, Blanc, Rouge, The Tricolore.

They are our team.

They transcend political, linguistic division.

They are the mortar in our brick mosaic.

My discourse on the mythical team is now over.

Just wanted to clear up for my friend,

 that they are not just a hockey team.

Anymore than, Marilyn was just a blond,

 or that k.d lang is just a singer.

Again, tongue firmly planted in cheek.

Later girls, and Dan.

BB

Happy Halloween

The sky is very blue and it’s a little bit cold.

The Canadiens lost last night,

it’s OK,

you can’t win every game.

Wanted to wish you all a Happy Halloween.

I’m going to a wine and cheese festival type thing with a friend today,

should be fun.

I’m almost finished My Year Of Meats,

tell you all about it tomorrow.

I’m really starting to look forward to 2011.

I get that way at the end of the year, look forward.

It hasn’t been the best of years,

 and it hasn’t been the worst.

Just a really high learning curve,

 about myself and my romantic relationships.

I hope you all have or had,

 depending on your time zone,

a fun, safe and sweet Halloween.

Later girls

BB

Feeling Existential

Well, it’s October, therefore grey.

The Canadiens won on Saturday.

It has been really quiet here at,

 bookish butch central.

I went out on Thursday night,

 to one of my favourite watering holes,

with one of my favourite women.

I had a great time, we both did.

But, since then, I have felt tired and lethargic.

I doubt the two are related,

 it’s just a serious case of the slumps.

I’m in a reading slump, nothing seems to grab me.

I find that disconcerting,

I have a whole pile of To Be Reads,

and yet,

 all I can manage is the paper and an occasional essay,

in the James Agee collection. 

I’m reading other blogs,

 and everyone seems to be zipping through tons of books.

I envy, that.

Maybe, I’m just too preoccupied.

I have been thinking about instinct.

I used to be much more instinctual,

listening to the little voice inside my head.

In the past couple of years,

 I’m not sure why but,

 I’ve started ignoring it,

 and making more sensible choices.

I know there is nothing wrong with sensible,

it keeps you safe and relatively happy.

I used to be, I think,

 more fearless.

It could also be that,

 I am remembering things in a better light.

A sort, of fear has started creeping up on me,

fear of tomorrow, of the unknown, of being hurt.

When fear sets in you stop taking chances,

 you go the safe route,

you become complacent and settle for less,

you stop searching for what really makes you tick.

Fear, can save your life but, it can also stifle it.

Instead of listening to yourself,

 underneath all the white noise,

you take advice and you do things that seem more logical.

But, you know it’s not about sensible and safe.

It’s about the search and the journey,

what if we only go around once, won’t we regret not going for it.

I think I would.

So, I’m trying to listen to my little voice,

maybe it can tell me what to do,

 or maybe I’ll keep just keep looking.

Just so you all know,

 October/November and February/March

are often existential months for me.

You have been warned.

Later girls

BB