It’s a beautiful,
Fall morning,
I love Fall,
but,
in the year,
that keeps on,
taking,
Fall is going to be,
hard.
A week ago,
I sat right here,
at my kitchen table,
and prepared to write,
a blog post about,
the hard things,
and then the phone rang.
It was the hospital,
saying I should come,
because mom,
had a bad night,
it was code for,
she’s dying.
The previous morning,
the geriatric doctor,
had explained to me,
that,
in spite of all their efforts,
all their tests,
they could not find,
what was wrong with mom,
that all her systems were,
shutting down.
I had spent the day with mom,
after they put her in a room,
we talked,
we told each other,
how much ,
we loved each other,
she kissed my hand,
she said she was ready,
I told her I would be ok.
I played Nana Mouskouri,
Le Temps Des Cerises ,
on my phone,
I said ,
remember mom?
She smiled, and nodded,
and we were both transported,
to a time when cars were,
big as living rooms,
and 8 track players,
provided the music on,
family drives and vacations.
Mom was in her 30’s ,
I was a kid,
my dad was alive,
we were a family,
a happy family.
Mom drifted off to sleep,
the pain meds were strong,
I spent the day,
by her bedside,
I read to her,
she would wake,
briefly.
In the evening,
around 9,
I went home,
I had to feed Georgie,
I had to sleep,
I had some toast,
watched tv,
talked to my friend,
on the phone,
went to bed.
And in the morning I got,
the call
Mom died,
a little after 12,
I was there,
I hope she knew that.
It’s hard.
A week of sympathies,
of arrangments,
of phone calls,
of prayers,
of bone tiredness,
of sadness.
I loved my mother,
she loved me,
we were there for each other.
And…
now she is gone,
she was a tiny woman,
she leaves a big hole.
She is resting in peace,
no one,
deserved it more.
I love you mom,
je t’aimes maman.
Thank you all for ‘listening’
Later girls,
BB
