I took this photo of me Spring 2022
Hello all,
we had a bright sunny day,
yesterday,
today is back to,
grey,
it’s snowing,
George is snoring,
in the other room,
yes, I can hear him!
My cold is still hanging on,
getting pretty tired of this shit !
But, I have been,
painting,
writing,
everyday,
one or both.
I am getting pretty close,
to a major blog milestone,
I have written,
993 blog posts,
1000, will be a pretty big deal!
I won’t lie,
this cold,
the grey weather,
post holidays,
I won’t say I have the blues,
but, I am not feeling,
buoyant, put it that way…
I have been taking care,
of the house,
cooking,
the previously mentioned,
painting and writing,
but, I can’t seem to focus,
on the next step,
finding the thing I want,
to do,
finding a job,
moving to the next step.
I am not depressed,
I have been depressed,
this ain’t it,
and while I was exhausted,
I am not anymore,
I feel fine.
In most ways,
I feel happier,
than I have ever been,
but…
even at 57…
I have doubts,
rationally,
I don’t,
my logical, rational brain,
tells me,
come on,
you got this,
you have had dozens of jobs,
in your life,
you can find another,
my rational brain,
also tells me,
you made this choice,
took the decision,
you want more time,
for you,
for your creative outlets,
you don’t need that much,
money, security,
but, the little kid in me,
the lizard brain,
says “you need a steady job,
we got bills to pay,
groceries to buy,
George eats the millionaire food!
It’s funny even at 57,
I sometimes,
believe the naysayer,
who lives in me,
the one who tells me”
you aren’t that good,
a writer,
you call that painting!”
I sometimes,
believe the fear,
but,
if there is something,
I have learned,
in my life,
it is,
that,
I am loved,
I am supported,
and,
I am smarter and stronger,
than I sometimes,
just sometimes,
believe.
Keep believing in yourself.
Be well you all.
Later girls,
BB
