Hello everyone,
today it is Spring!
I am anxious for,
the snow to melt,
we still have some,
here in my beautiful ugly,
and some might still fall.
But, Spring it is!
The light is more…
bright,
the light is…
more.
March 21 st 1997,
my dad passed away,
suddenly and brutally.
Massive heart attack,
it was his third.
He was 58 years old.
My father and I,
had a difficult relationship,
from my teen years on.
He was in many ways,
a difficult man.
But, now that I have lived,
almost as many years as he did,
I will be 58 years old in May,
I think I understand him more,
his choices, his demons,
his trauma.
My childhood was very different,
from his,
my mother was very different,
from his.
I am pretty sure he would agree,
that meeting my mother,
was the luckiest thing,
that ever happened to him,
and that marrying her,
was the smartest decision,
he ever made.
When I was a little girl,
my dad was big and strong,
he was gentle and affectionate.
As I grew older,
his demons, past traumas,
whatever you want to call them,
took over,
and he made a series of,
bad choices.
Our family,
was never the same again.
Thank God for my mother,
my strong, hard working,
unflinchingly loyal,
mother.
I was in my early thirties,
when my father died,
we had mostly,
dealt with our baggage.
Now when I think of him,
it is mostly the good times,
I remember.
He loved my mother,
he loved me,
and he was far from perfect,
but, he loved us the best way,
he knew how.
I don’t know if my parents,
are reunited,
and I hope that if they are,
it is the best, most fun,
and passionate part of,
their relationship.
I hope you are resting in peace, dad.
Be well, everyone.
Get out feel the cold but warming air,
Spring is here!
Later girls,
BB
