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Spring,

is in the air,

the nippy, cold air,

but,

still,

Spring,

ah yes, I can smell the,

freedom.

Things are moving right along,

scary,

to see how many books,

are gone,

are still,

there.

Been, dreaming,

in between,

selling lots of books,

🙂

of time,

off,

on my own,

visiting,

friends,

discovering,

places, sounds, smells,

urban exploration,

in Montreal,

in Toronto.

Reconnecting with me,

perhaps,

finding new parts of me.

I’ve also had visions of,

fly fishing,

and,

quiet introspection.

I’m a city butch,

love the sights,

the sounds,

but,

I also long to be away,

from the noise,

the stink,

the always in a hurriedness.

Haven’t had much time,

to read,

and,

to be perfectly honest,

I don’t feel like it.

The closest I come to reading,

right now,

is perusing the net,

still have,

my menswear obsession.

Planning my Spring and Summer,

choices.

I’ve come across,

some interesting,

butch and queer,

blogs,

nice content and perspectives,

http://thehandsomebutch.tumblr.com/,

http://qwearfashion.com/,

http://www.dapperq.com/

fun and young,

worth a look,

for sure.

I do find that some,

of these blogs,

aren’t really for me,

but,

that’s the thing with,

style,

you tweak, adapt,

steal,

and,

you come up,

with,

you.

Strangely enough,

when I was putting this,

blog together,

I toyed,

with calling it,

the handsome butch,

nod, nod, wink, wink,

you know all very tongue and cheek,

but,

I figured,

handsome,

was in the eye of the beholder.

The handsome butch,

is definetly handsome,

and,

has great style.

I wonder,

if I’ll keep the bookish butch moniker,

or if maybe,

I’ll the butch,

formerly known as bookish

😛

Footloose butch?

Rudderless butch?

A butch goes fishing?

Dude’s butch?

Gently graying middle aged butch?

Identity crisis butch?

TMI butch?

naw, I’ll keep bookish,

after all BB,

is me.

Have a great day.

Later girls,

BB

Beautiful day,

sunny and clear,

we are supposed to hit,

seven or eight degrees today,

positively balmy,

looks like Easter weekend,

will be spectacular.

I hope that means good sales,

for me,

but, it could go either way,

the temptation to walk around,

get the bicycle ready,

all that,

fingers crossed,

I’ve had a few of my good customers,

in already,

today,

they express sadness and regret,

it’s hard,

I keep living it,

over and over again,

and,

yet,

I’m so glad to get a chance,

to say goodbye,

and,

give them a chance at some,

real bargains.

It gets a little harder,

day by day,

more cold and echoey in here,

as there are less and less books,

to insulate form the cold,

to keep out the noise.

I’m glad of it,

the objective is to sell them,

and,

move on.

This in between time,

waiting to move on,

to the next phase,

of my life,

and,

yet,

so sad at the end.

Conflicting and contradictory feelings,

much to be learned by this,

experience.

I’m reading Walden,

I find Thoreau,

has some very interesting,

notions,

points of view.

Much of which I agree,

with,

being true to yourself,

not being a sheep,

or follower.

I also find him,

judgmental,

and,

sexist,

I know,

I know,

he is a product of his time.

He has many qualities,

I admire,

earnestness,

resilience,

a strong work ethic,

a belief in the need of bettering yourself,

intellectually,

examining your life and your beliefs,

but,

he is also dry and well,

humorless.

A good read,

takes time and concentration,

to absorb,

both of which I have,

in short supply,

right now,

but,

it just may be the ideal read,

for this period of my life

🙂

I hope you all have,

a joyful and restful,

long Easter weekend.

Don’t over do the chocolate

😛

Be well.

Later girls,

BB

It’s Thursday morning,

a beautiful sunny Thursday morning,

Spring is definitely in the air,

in the bite of the air,

more a nibble maybe,

it isn’t close to hot yet,

but,

the light,

ah the light is beautiful:-)

It’s been another tough week,

full moon, Spring like light,

turns people into,

well,

to put it nicely,

lunatics!

Just so you know,

I include myself in that,

I’ve been grouchy and antsy,

all week,

today’s weather,

and,

the upcoming long weekend,

should help.

If any of you,

believe in,

positive energy,

vibes,

and,

you feel,

you might have some,

to spare,

send some over to BB,

will ya?

😛

More than half the books,

gone,

some days,

those bad dark days,

I wonder if they’ll ever be all gone,

some negative naysayer types,

pissing you off,

and,

then a light nice person says,

‘wow, you’ve sold lots of books’,

there will always be,

piss in your cornflakes types,

and,

there will always be balm to your soul types,

the trick is to avoid the first.

Soon, I can cross the street when I see them.

Lots of talk all over the social media,

of marriage equality,

in the U.S,

thought I would share some,

of my favourite,

pictorial support descriptions,

avatars.

We have equality of marriage,

in Canada,

which is not the same,

as saying we have no homophobia,

but,

it isn’t state sanctioned,

the homophobia, marriage is:-)

So here are my favs,

My current face book profil picture,

designed by my friend Chris.

Nice and plain,

makes a statement.

Bert and Ernie, variations.

and,

my current fav,

oh yes,

I always knew she was Butch,

smokin’ hot,

Wow.

Wether people, gay people,

want to get married or not,

to me,

isn’t really the question,

the point is,

who are the government,

the state,

to tell ‘us’,

‘them’ they can’t.

Have a great day,

hope it’s sunny and Springlike,

wherever,

you are.

Later girls,

BB

Yep,

Indeed.

Large, medium, small…all three

🙂

Hmmm……

This also applies to customers…just saying

😛

stuff to ponder.

 

I’m going to run some errands,

gonna wear my shawl collar sweater,

doubt I’ll look as good as McQueen,

but,

I’ll try:-)

Later girls,

BB

Well,

I don’t want to jinx things,

but,

things are moving according to plan.

Both Friday and Saturday,

were amazing days.

Lots of books sold,

piles and piles of books sold.

All clean up and clean out costs,

put aside,

and,

now I’m working on,

what I will have left over.

It won’t be enough to retire,

😛

or even take a year off,

but, what would I do with a year off, anyway:-)

I expect to take about,

six weeks off,

which is wonderful,

and,

then I expect to have enough,

so that I can work,

part time,

for the following six months,

or so.

Allow me to drift into,

the new job, project, career,

part of my life.

I have lived quite thriftily,

out of necessity,

over the past few years,

and,

I can go on doing so.

More important to me,

to have time and head space,

than money.

I am feeling much better,

about things,

I know,

I gave it everything I had.

It isn’t a failure,

it’s an evolution.

I don’t want to run,

a business,

anymore,

I don’t like the,

‘it’s not personal, it’s business’

mantra,

to me things are personal.

It’s how I live my life,

I’m not perfect,

so far from it,

but,

I believe,

I have honour and integrity,

I have to be able to look,

at myself,

in the mirror,

in the morning,

when I’m brushing my teeth,

and not be ashamed,

of the butch,

starring back at me.

I don’t care what justifications,

people use to enable them,

to cut,

the corners of their personal integrity,

I only care about mine.

Having a job,

earning your keep,

these are necessary,

and,

fine,

making barrels of money,

by,

talking the talk, walking the walk,

of,

‘it’s not personal, it’s business’

isn’t,

not for me.

Since, I don’t have much,

in the way of personal and financial,

obligations and responsibilities,

I don’t have to compromise myself,

I can make choices,

that I can live with,

and,

if that means making less,

and,

being ‘proud’ of myself,

I’ll be a happy butch.

I realise not everyone can afford,

the independence and let’s face it,

sometimes,

folly,

that have dictated my choices,

but,

I can,

and that means more to me,

much more,

than the conventional evaluation of,

success.

I don’t have much,

in the way of,

material manifestation,

to show for,

and,

I don’t care.

I am as free,

as one can be,

when one lives as a part of society,

and,

that is what I’ve always wanted,

not sure I always knew that,

but,

all the choices I have made,

without knowing it,

sometimes,

have been about and towards that.

It is personal,

and,

no it isn’t ‘business’

it’s my life.

Not sure if this makes sense to any of you,

but,

thanks for partaking in my ramblings

🙂

Later girls,

BB

** I think it goes without saying, that I don’t think that all business is crooked and I think that a lot of people work hard with honour and integrity, it’s just that in this world of material success over everything else, I could no longer run the bookstore and survive, mom and pops on streets can’t survive selling books and such, they just can’t, consumerism and mega corporations have killed the small profit business, no profit is ever enough anymore. Maybe I will end up ‘running’ myself as a ‘product’ or a ‘business’ but, I won’t play the game**

Crazy busy week.

The week started off,

with a massive,

March snow storm.

That wasn’t so great for business,

took two days to get back to normal.

Yesterday, there was a big fire,

right up,

the street,

so sad,

to see people,

lose their homes,

their belongings,

at least no-one was seriously injured.

It did put a serious monkey wrench,

into traffic around the bookstore,

so yesterday,

wasn’t what it should have been.

Today,

was wonderful,

sunny, glorious,

briskly cold,

but,

invigorating.

March,

you can feel Spring,

giving it the ole college try.

The days are longer,

the light is brighter,

and,

moods are more buoyant.

Fabulous day,

sold piles and piles of books.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

I hope you all will forgive,

my less frequent ramblings,

for a bit.

I’ve got a bookstore to liquidate:-)

Be well, girls.

Later girls,

BB

**so what do you all think of the header shot of Odile??**

 

 

Today is,

my second day off,

feeling pretty mellow,

well,

for me:-)

Listening to Cat Stevens,

I know,

what can I say?

I like old hippie music,

it soothes the savage butch.

I’ve been uber serious lately,

I’m thinking,

I’ve been bumming,

everyone out.

little black cloud butch, go home!

So today,

I thought I would share some,

silly and fun and hopefully inspiring,

Spring things,

fashion,

butch style,

kittens,

flowers,

you know Spring!

It ain’t Spring yet,

but,

it’s coming,

yeah baby:-P

A few things I would like to add,

to my spring clothing arsenal,

some this year,

some next,

as,

Operation Gut Reduction,

is an ongoing process,

’cause neither Rome,

nor this gut were built,

in a day.

Wink

Next Fall,

I plan on killing it,

in a tweed blazer,

not unlike,

one of my style icons

I won’t by wearing a tie,

BB don’t do ties,

still…

killer look,

herringbone tweed, chambray shirt, bandana hankie,

sweet.

Also loving this shade of jeans,

British Khaki, tobacco,

dark beige, light brown, saddle,

whatever name your favourite haberdasher,

uses to designate this colour,

it rocks,

slightly dressier and classier than,

blue jeans,

with the same sense of fun,

and,

rugged good looks,

to my mind,

very butch,

bookish and bohemian,

and,

yet,

traditional and prep,

has it all,

in the right cut and fit,

I think so,

Of course I would wear socks,

I don’t get this sockless obsession,

good for sandals and boat shoes,

that’s it,

I don’t wear either,

so the only time,

you will find me,

sockless,

slippers or bed:-)

I also need a good shaker knit,

the one I have is ancient,

and,

big,

that’s a good thing,

so instead of my fall back,

navy blue,

I thought I’d mix it up,

a bit,

and,

find something like this,

Love this shade of green,

always have,

I got into the habit,

of not wearing much green,

years ago,

was my ex’s favourite colour,

so I would avoid green,

and,

she would avoid blue,

so we wouldn’t look like,

the Bobsey twins,

no danger of that anymore,

we don’t look much alike,

anymore,

to me we never did, but, people have a superficial way of seeing people, brown hair, short hair, glasses, heavy set and of similar age for some people, spells: look alikes. Sorry, ramblin’

So I think more green,

it will match my whole,

wardrobe,

I like the look of blue and green,

not all of them,

but,

I only wear two or three,

shades of each,

and,

to me they look good.

The thing with style,

it isn’t what others are wearing,

that’s fashion,

or what the stores are pushing,

that’s trend.

Style is your own interpretation,

of all of the above,

what makes you feel,

good about yourself,

and,

the image you are putting forth,

to the world.

I think of myself,

as laid back,

bookish,

and,

butch,

with a bit of an edge,

but,

subtle,

not jagged,

I don’t want to look,

like everyone else,

but,

I don’t want to stand out,

too much.

that’s my style,

if that makes any sense.

and,

finally,

you were promised,

flowers,

Sunshine and greenery

seedlings and sapplings

Kittens,

aaaahhhh:-)

cats,

Calf and cat,

if that ain’t Spring I don’t know what is.

Big dreams,

make us feel like pups all over again.

and,

yeah I know it’s cliche,

but,

I love

in the Springtime

🙂

Tell BB what you are looking forward to,

in the Spring,

wardrobe?

the smell of grass?

the warmth of the sunshine?

whatever it is,

share, ok?

Be well ladies.

Later girls,

BB

***all of these pictures come from my Pinterest page or Bathwater, my favourite picture blog***

***except for Menswear dog, of course****

😛

 

 

 

 

Been a long hard week,

spent most of my week,

hormonal and angry,

not a great combination.

It seemed that every time,

someone expressed regret,

at my closing,

I felt either like crying,

or jumping down their throat.

Anyone who knows me,

or has read my blog,

for any lenght of time,

knows,

I don’t do crying,

nope,

can’t,

fatal butch flaw,

and,

anyone who knows me,

or again,

has read my blog,

for a while,

knows I don’t have,

violent tendencies,

I’m a reader not a fighter

🙂

All this to say,

I’ve had a complex coctail,

of emotions,

pumping in my system,

cursed hormones,

haven’t blamed them in a while.

I’ve always prided,

myself,

on being a good communicator,

and,

yet,

this week…

yeah,

I’ve sucked at it.

I’ve managed to make everyone,

or at least that’s what it felt like,

uncomfortable and confused.

Thinking I was saying one thing,

and,

apparently not vehiculing those thoughts,

I apologise,

to all those who have,

been splattered with my confused mud,

mom,

of course,

my girl,

everyone.

I thought I had this decision,

and,

it’s execution,

well in hand,

maybe I’m shakier than I thought.

Today,

I rested,

and,

I feel better about what the next,

three weeks will hold.

I think I can,

I think I can.

I know I can

🙂

Lots of interesting things,

have happened this week,

and,

I barely noticed.

Today I took time.

I got acquainted with the new Pope.

I’m not a Catholic,

or even religious,

in any real sense,

I think of myself as an agnostic.

That being said,

I live in Quebec,

I come from a long line,

of Catholics,

on my mother’s side.

French Canadian Catholics.

One of our Cardinals,

the Cardinal of Quebec,

was supposedly a front runner,

for the top job,

he didn’t ‘win’,

for this I am grateful,

he is in no way in touch,

with the society in which I live.

The man who was elected Pope,

is from Argentina,

and,

seems a man of great devotion,

and,

enormous contradiction.

I have no problem,

with contradiction,

all people to be truly,

interesting,

are bundles,

indeed,

masses,

of contradictions.

Pope Francis,

is a Jesuit,

who took the name of a Franciscan saint,

interesting.

He is a man who wants to help the poor,

and,

yet he is Pope,

which means he will live,

in,

opulent splendor.

He talks of changing the church,

and,

yet,

he is a conservative in doctrine.

Many contradictions.

I don’t expect the church,

to change it’s views,

on abortion,

that they object to it,

morally,

well,

ok,

I guess,

but,

contraception??

In 2013,

come on!

The place of women in the church?

Homosexuality?

Tolerance and non interference,

should be their mantra.

Is not the message of Christianity,

to love thy neighbour?

We shall see,

if this Pope,

can rise to the challenge,

of bringing the church,

into the 21 st century,

right now they are stuck,

in the dark ages.

I wish him luck,

for those,

who believe,

and need guidance.

I’m holding on,

and,

coming to terms with,

the end of,

the bookstore era.

Reading two books,

have helped me,

Walden,

I find great solace,

in Thoreau’s standing tall,

for what he believes.

The other book,

is Walton’s Compleat Angler,

a book about fly fishing and life,

written in the 17 th century.

Sometimes,

I think,

you need to turn,

to very old things,

to help you to the,

new.

Thanks for hanging in there with me,

and,

for reading my meandering,

and,

not too structured,

ramblings.

Later girls,

BB

 

 

Monday is my day off,

well for now it is,

we’ll see what the future holds,

right?

🙂

I don’t know if the time change,

has been giving you all,

a hard time,

but,

around here,

it’s been kicking our butts.

Mom is out of whack

and,

so am I.

Long working hours,

this week,

and,

a Saturday dinner,

with my favourite anarchist,

didn’t help with the sleep patterns,

but,

it sure brought my morale up.

What a treasure he is,

don’t know what I’d do without him,

I’d rather not think about that,

how I will see him less,

once the shop is closed

SNIFF

The numbers for this week,

are pretty amazing,

another week like that,

and,

maybe I could be out for April 1 st,

which would be excellent,

the landlord could rent for the 1 st.

I’ll try,

it would save me money,

and,

give me more time,

which is what I am craving,

time to walk,

time to sleep,

time to take mom,

to a movie or two,

time to write,

time to think,

without stress,

without money worries,

well,

for a little while anyway.

I’m gonna try,

it may be possible,

I won’t put pressure on myself,

enough of that,

worst case scenario,

I’m finished for April 15 th,

and,

that isn’t a problem.

Needless to say,

I haven’t much time,

or energy,

for anything ressembling,

serious,

reading,

or even light reading, when it comes to that

a few pages before sleep.

Still reading Sasoon,

fine writer,

love his stuff.

The Memoirs of a Fox Hunting Man,

brings you back,

to pre WW I times,

to an England,

that would be changed forever.

I have no doubt,

I will enjoy,

the second installment,

even more,

but,

I like this one.

Not very far in it,

the young George (Sassoon’s alter ego)

is a lonely sweet boy,

good thing he has Dixon,

the groom,

to show him about horses and hunting,

his Aunt Evelyn,

his guardian,

is a lovely woman but,

a little,

well,

clueless.

One thing you can be sure,

I will do,

once I get some time-

read,

in the parks,

in the cafes,

everywhere,

read,

whatever I feel like

🙂

I hope the world,

and,

the time change,

is being kind to all of you.

Later girls,

BB

 

 

 

Fitting…

given my current situation.

Succintly beautiful and…true.

There isn’t much,

I find sexier,

than a woman reading:-)

This cat is gorgeous, the person who took the picture has a real feel and understanding of cats.

Weathering the storm.

Friendship, sharing, togetherness and games-doesn’t get much better than that:-)

Have a lovely Friday.

Big butchy virtual hug to all of you.

Later girls,

BB