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Hello All,

November is finally over,
yes!!

December is a much better,
if colder and more,
expensive,
month.

Bring it on.

Let it be resolved,
that for the next,
month and a bit,
I will indulge,
in,
NO OVERTHINKING
there!
it is said for all,
to see,
to read.

All you my friends,
my family,
my acquaintances,
my readers,
know this about me,
I am a thinker,
that is who I am,
it is neither,
a good or a bad thing,
it just is,
one might even say,
it is what it is.
But, aside,
from being a thinker,
I am also an,
over thinker,
and,
that isn't good.
It stops me from taking,
action,
it stifles,
my ambitions,
it drives my loved ones,
insane.
I obsess,
I over analyse.
This is especially bad,
when I am unhappy,
when I am searching,
for the next thing.

A new year is about to dawn.
I have decided,
that this is the year,
I start the next big thing.
I have narrowed it down to,
three possibilities,
all are creative endeavours,
all interest me,
intensely,
immensely.
I will devote myself to,
one of them,
starting at the end of January,
and intend,
that by December,
I will have a finished,
project,
no matter what.

That is my resolution.

For the month of,
December and the first days,
of January,
I don't over think,
I work,
I share,
I breathe,
I walk,
I love,
I experience,
I do not search,
I let experience,
come to me,
present itself,
I will be reading,
going to films,
listening to music,
watching tv,
art exhibits,
museums,
conversing with good,
smart interesting,
people,
I will be living my life,
without dissecting,
everything.

There will be no obsessing,
no overthinking.

I need to break that.

Move on from the hurt,
the fear,
the paralysis.
Move.

I have been inspired by,
the musical,
Hamilton,
it's story,
it's creation,
it's actors, 
dancers,
singers,
great art,
lifts us,
inspires us,
in sometimes,
surprising,
unexpected ways.

I wish you all,
a wonderful weekend.

Will be back
on Monday

Later girls,
BB

Hope all is well,
with all of you.
Saturday, 
was a really good day,
for me.

I took my mom out for dumplings,
in Chinatown.
They were delicious,
she loved them.
The weather was great,
we walked and,
walked some more.

Up to Ste-Catherine, 
went to the Bay,
she loved the Topshop line.

We kept going,
and, 
nipped into Simmons,
she bought us some hats.
I got a terrific,
Rains (Danish brand) rain hat,
and,
she got a cute straw trilby.

We had coffee at our favourite,
Starbuck's.
Enjoyed each other's company.

We got back on the metro(subway)
and headed out to the Pointe,
an old Montreal neighbourhood,
very close to our own Verdun.
The Pointe has working class,
tough roots,
but,
it has gentrified quite a bit,
in recent years,
as has Verdun.

The place we went to,
The Pointe St-Charles Art School,
is absolutely wonderful,
a glorious vibe.
We went for an art exhibit.
My friend Ken,
had some photographs on display.

We met some delightful people.
We ran into one of mom's cousins,
her eldest cousin,
she and her husband are almost,
ninety,
they were out supporting,
their niece's husband.
That totally rocks.

A former client of mine,
was there,
I never knew her name,
she was a client,
but,
we were chatting and I asked her name...
she has the same name as my surgeon,
the one who removed my alien.

Chatted with a charming woman,
about running and creative outlets,
she introduced me to her friend,
who was exhibiting some drawings,
they had things to say.

I had a great time.
Mom had a great time.

It helped me to have,
even more,
resolve,
as far as social occasions,
and,
community involvement,
are concerned.

I need more,
in terms of creative stimulation,
I need to meet more people,
and,
spend more time,
with my friends, my family.
I need to banish the ugly,
the negative,
accentuate the positive,
not live in a world of illusion,
but,
contribute,
make a difference,
for me as well as others.

It was a really good day.

Be well you all.
Later girls,
BB

Hello all, 
hope you are feeling,
chipper and spry.
Did your favourite groundhog,
give your wished for...prognosis?
Prediction?
Psychic reading?
Here's hoping.

Here,
in the beautiful ugly,
it is mild, damn mild,
sucker you in to thinking,
it's Spring,
mild.
I say,
enjoy it while it lasts.
You won't hear me,
bitching,
about a lack of snow.
Snow in the city,
is pretty for a half hour,
after that,
it's a nuisance.
For you,
outdoorsy Winter frolicking types,
my sympathies,
for the rest of us,
woo hoo!!

February is here and that's means,
no matter what the groundhog,
predicts...
Spring,
isn't far behind.
Far and soon,
are relative concepts.
One person's soon is,
another person's far.

I'm feeling good,
for the weirdest reasons,
off the top of my head,
I would say:
red wine and stretch jeans.

I read an article:
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/people-who-drink-alcohol-outlive-those-who-abstain-study-shows-8995879.html

also, I know drinking red wine,
is good for you, 
your heart etc
and, 
I have discovered...
better late than never,
that I actually love,
red wine.
So, for the past few weeks,
I have been picking up,
a bottle of red at our state run,
liquor stores,
I have few guidelines
it must be under $10 dollars,
and,
it has to:
speak to me,
name, label, region,
any and all of the above.
something.
Two weeks ago it was,
a big bold Italian,
last week, a Spanish wine.
What this week brings,
I do not know,
but, there is always,
a vast selection,
even with my broke butch,
budget and criterion.
I have one glass with dinner,
occasionally,
after a really rough, frustrating day,
two.
I feel better,
I digest better,
I feel less stress,
and,
I am less cranky,
win, win, win, win.

Next week,
I am taking a two day class,
paid for by the office,
a CPR and rescue course,
You spend a lot of time,
bent over a mannequin.
I thought it would be important,
to be comfortable,
also,
I did not want to show one iota,
of butt crack,
I don't have an ounce of plumber in me.

I am not the most conventional of people,
but,
I do not consider,
sweatpants and or yoga pants,
appropriate attire,
aside from,
working out and or lounging,
I did make an exception,
when recovering from surgery,
last year.
I'll wear hoodies, flannel shirts etc,
I work in a very informal setting,
and,
the world is a more and more,
informal place,
which has it pros and cons.
but, I draw the line at,
sweatpants to work.

So, I had to figure something out.
I know that lots of women,
wear stretch jeans,
but, I'm a butch,
I don't do girl jeans.
A few months ago,
I had seen posters,
all over American Eagle,
promoting these flex jeans,
of theirs.
Yesterday, I thought I would try,
some on, to see.

Oh my,
game changers.
As I slipped them on,
I wondered,
where have these jeans,
been all my life?
Yes, they are that comfortable,
they are also nice,
and, although not cheap,
very reasonable,
second pair was half off.
Remains to be seen,
how long they will last,
but,
it is bound to be better,
than my Old Navys,
whose crotch blew after,
six months.
No more Old Navy jeans for me,
they are cheap but...
I have some awesome Gaps,
slim fit,
and now.
these stretches,
from American Eagle,
I think I am covered.

Learning new things,
discovering new things,
experimenting new things,
even when they are,
as silly,
as being giddy over new jeans,
keeps you going.

Enjoy what's left of the Winter,
maybe even get out and shake,
your booty, groove thing,
or butt
:-)

Be well.

Later girls

Well, I am a little late to wish you all a Happy New Year...

The New Year has been around for almost three weeks.
Here's hoping ringing it in and,
the first few weeks have
been golden,
for all of you.

I'm doing well, feeling a little cold,
January is the frigid portion of the calendar.

I had nice, quiet holidays, managed a few days off,
both at Christmas and New Year's,
spent time with loved ones.
Was spoiled and spoiled a few people as well.
Got some lovely books, new bag, gloves, yoga mat
(yes, my friends you read that right!! )

The year so far,
fine,
work is fine,
health is A1-
(saw my surgeon for the last time on Friday.
Fit as a fiddle:-)
Gained some weight over the last few months,
bigger appetite and some 
overindulgence, then the holidays, 
also it would appear my thyroid is a factor as well.
I am waiting for a scan for the thyroid, 
no real worries there, runs in the family, easily,
controlled, we'll see.
Trying to eat less 
and,
doing some planking, strengtening the core and working on
building a slimmer, stronger butch.

I am in a decent place right now,
creativity isn't at it's peak but,
I am building and tearing down and building, again
this is how it works for me,
lots of the building and tearing down goes on,
inside,
my imagination, my mind.
Sharing and experimenting photos on instagram
check me out bookishbutch@instagram

I haven't been reading loads but, I have been,
slow steady pace.
mostly, I am enjoying my life, spending time with friends,
ladies hockey games, movies,
Mom and I saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens,
she loved it, I enjoyed it,
a good New Year's day movie.

Today I am going to see Carol,
the Cate Blanchet film based on,
Patricia Highsmith's novel,
The Price Of Salt,
I am not usually a fan of Highsmith's,
too dark and cynical,
for my taste but, I loved this book

here is an appreciation from the early 
years of the blog, be careful may contain spoilers:-)
The Price Of Salt-An Appreciation


I will write soon,
I feel the period of cogitation,
is about to end.

Be well,
all the best.
Later girls,
BB

Good Christmas Eve to all of you,
whether you celebrate it,
or not. 
The sentiment is there anyway.
Peace on earth,
good will towards all.

The older I get, the more I appreciate the family I was born into.
The older I get, the more I realize the blessings of friendship.
The older I get, the more I miss certain people.
The older I get, the more I know that love is the most important part of,
everything.

At this time of year, I miss my grandmother and grandfather,
so much. I wish I could tell them what their example of grace and good humor, hard work and sacrifice, has meant in my life. They were good people, hard working and smart, kind and generous.

I miss my father, who could be terrible at the holidays, but, who was never boring. Charming and gregarious, dark and sarcastic, too.
I realize, now, that demons from your past are awakened at Christmas and that isn't peoples fault. 

I miss my friend Francoys. He disliked the consumerism and he would never consider, celebrating the baby Jesus:-) But, he was kind and jovial and the most hospitable of hosts.
My life is forever changed because of his loss.

I miss them all, but, those I still,
have,
are just as wonderful.

My mother the little ball of energy, 
what would I do without her?
My friend Helene and her wonderful mother, family for so many years.
My aunt, my uncle, my wonderful cousins and little baby cousins.

My health is good, my mind is strong, I have the woman of my dreams,
in my life.

Let us not quibble about things we cannot control,
distance,meaneness,
let us concentrate on loving each other
let us be grateful for all that we have,
and,
remember the good times.

From me to you,

Merry Christmas

Be well

Later girls,

BB

Chilly morning, here in the beautiful ugly

Hope you are all well and keeping warm.

It will be Christmas very shortly,
I've been thinking about that,
 what Christmas,
means,
to me.

I have a work colleague,
he's strange,
not a bad egg,
just strange,
needs to talk, be listened to,
we all do,
some of us,
more than others.
I seem to attract people,
who need to talk,
who need to be loved,
I somehow fill a need,
a void,
that is a good thing,
although,
it can occasionally be,
a load,
a burden,
anyway,
enough with the dollar store,
psychology
:-)

This colleague,
he is Jewish and French
(as in, from France)
He wants to know what I think,
about things,
not quite sure why,
but,
he says provocative or controversial things,
and,
waits for my reaction.

This week it was about,
Christmas and how it is,
about the birth of Christ,
hmm.
This can be very controversial,
in
A) a post Catholic society
B) a work place filled with Muslims
etc
of course,I also understand that as a Jew,
Christmas time must be a royal pain in the a..
for him

So, it got me thinking,
while I was explaining,
that to me,
Christmas wasn't much about the birth of Jesus.
Then again...

To me,
Christmas is about family,
about good will to others,
and,
yes, I guess about real 'Christian' principles.
I am not a Christian,
nor anything other than an agnostic,
a total fence sitter,
when it comes to religion.

I hate,
all that has been done in the name,
of religion,
of God,
but,
I am no atheist,
I have no certainty,
about the existence of God,
nor about the lack of one.

I envy people who have faith,
I respect their commitment and belief.
I despise it when people,
try to shove their beliefs down my throat,
and,
I am pretty much always willing to listen,
to peoples beliefs,
but,
if their beliefs involve the disrespect,
of the beliefs of others,
indeed the persecution of others,
hatred instead of love,
ignorance instead of openness,
they lose me.

I'm no saint, but, I do listen

I envy people of faith because,
to me they are positive and romantic,
notions,
and,
I always prefer optimistic viewpoints,
I am not quite an optimist myself,
but,
I do believe,
in the inherent good in people.
I am lucid,
I see bad and ugly,
but,
although I do not bury my head in the sand,
and look away,
I dislike wallowing in ugly,
and,
taking the cynical and complacent route,
everything is bad,
everything sucks,
we are doomed.

I don't believe that,
I refuse to believe that.

So, to me,
Christmas is about taking a break,
smiling at each other,
exchanging good will,
eating,
drinking,
being merry,
charging our batteries,
in the warm embrace of whatever,
is most important to us,
family,
friends,
faith,
and going on fighting the good fight that is,
life

Be well, you all

Later girls,
BB