So Many thoughts

New flat, front room, being painted and bathed in light

Good morning everyone.

I hope you are all well.

Been seven months since,

my mom passed away.

She is missed.

In thirteen days,

I will be moving into,

my new flat.

Every time I visit it.

I feel so good about it.

There is peace,

in it’s rooms,

people have been happy,


have lived and loved,

in it’s rooms.

People I love will be,


and bellow.

They are family,

not of the blood ,

but family, still.

So many thoughts,

vying for my attention,

so many things to do,

many working pieces,

and sometimes,

I have to say,

I feel a bit panicky,

and then I tell myself,

that I am the same woman,

who liquidated an entire,

bookshop in six weeks,

that I lived through,

the death of my dear mother,

organized her funeral,

in a pandemic.

That I got this,

and that so many,

family, friends,

have my back.

One of the last things,

my mom said to me,

was- I know you’ll be ok, you are loved.

It is true, I am loved, I am blessed,

I am full of gratitude,

and anxiety, trepidation.

I need to keep breathing,

I need to tame the thoughts,

I’ve got this!

Thank you all for ‘listening’

Be well, stay safe, get vaccinated

Later girls,


By Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my mid early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

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