I hope all is well in your world.
Here in my beautiful ugly,
it is freezing cold,
please consider that when I say freezing cold I speak from a life of living in Montreal, a cold and snowy city
This is Dr Zhivago weather!
I am not working right now,
fingers crossed about that,
so going out in the cold,
needs motivational factors,
I am glad for you health nuts, dog owners and or much more disciplined people than I.
I need reasons to brave the cold,
I need reasons,
or seeing my girlfriend,
or a friend needs me,
or I will lose my mind,
if I don’t go out,
that kind of motivation,
and to be clear at -40 all bets are off except food, or a friend needs me
On Thursday around noon time,
we had not quite reached,
it was actually pleasant,
for February I mean.
I went downtown,
to have lunch with a friend,
to discuss a Bible Study,
we will be co animating,
We will be going through,
the Book Of Ruth,
which is short,
and most of the characters,
a rarity in the Bible.
We met for lunch,
she treated and then,
I babbled about the Bible Study and she made a video.
It wasn’t Polar Vortex cold,
but, it was/is still Winter,
so I pulled on my beanie,
to me, a beanie is woolen watchcap that wears close to the head, contrary to a tuque which tends to the floppier
And my friend says to me,
You look so Gay, I love it!
That made me laugh,
I know lots of people who wear beanies,
ok, so they tend to be younger, or guys,
she may be right.
She shot the video,
we walked down Ste-Catherine street,
she went to Lululemon ,
and I ducked into Uniqlo,
and then rode the Metro home.
I had errands to run,
before the deep freeze arrived,
I picked up my prescriptions,
and a plant a friend gifted me.
But, on the back burner,
I had some thoughts simmering.
My friend meant that remark,
in a good way,
in a complimentary way,
she is Gay, but even if she hadn’t been,
it would not have been a homophobic remark.
But, forty, thirty, twenty, even ten years ago,
the remark would have freaked me out,
my internalised homophobia,
would have made me freak out.
On Thursday, I thought, lots of women,
wear beanies and dress the way I do, no?
And then I realised, much younger women,
or older Gay women, and mostly butch at that.
Is that because finally at my age,
I don’t really care what people think,
about what I wear,
well, I care that my girlfriend thinks I look cute
and I care not to stand out too much.
But, I love my short buzzed haircut,
my flannel shirts and jeans and boots,
I even own a women’s parka now,
it fits way better,
it’s nice and could never be described as girlie.
I am so glad I have all but lost my,
I credit, the conversations,
on sex and gender.
To be fair,
I always wore ‘masculin’ attire,
but, it stung me when people,
made disparaging remarks,
and I may have taken some comments,
as disparaging when they were,
not really meant that way.
So next time someone says,
“that is so Gay” I will say,
“thanks for noticing!”
Have a great one,