Not A Day Goes By…

Mom September 2019, a year before she died.

My mom died,

two years ago,

today.

I have been home,

sick all week.

I have Covid symptoms, but,

my tests are negative.

My head has been aching,

pounding all week.

Today is September 16 th,

the second anniversary of,

mom’s death.

It was a glorious sunny,

late morning,

when she died.

I was there,

I heard the last,

breath,

I knew, she was gone.

She wasn’t really conscious,

when I got there on that,

morning, she saw me,

she made a sound…

The day before we had,

a talk,

the last one,

I told her I loved her,

she let out a half laugh,

“I know that” she said

and then she said I was,

the best thing,

she had ever done,

in her life…

she kissed my hand,

I kissed hers,

this was September 2020,

I was wearing a visor,

my mom was so small,

in that hospital bed…

We knew what we felt,

we knew what we had,

been through together,

as a family.

Mom said I would be ok,

that I was loved,

and I was, I am,

ok,

and yes, I am loved.

My eyes are full of tears.

Mom never got to meet,

Catherine, but, somehow,

I feel, she knows…

I love this photograph of mom,

looking sharp, in her khakis,

her pink Vans and wearing,

the scarf Helene brought her back,

from Prague.

Mom had real style.

She was healthy and happy,

in this photo,

not skinny and sick.

I miss her,

I really do,

I talk about her,

quite a bit,

I think about her,

more.

Not a day goes by…

I know that wherever she is,

she is happy,

the bounce is back in her step,

the library is overflowing,

my dad is a perpetual good mood,

they have learned to dance,

and they give,

each other,

all the space the other needs.

I know we shall all meet again,

and that Francoys is there too,

with his mom and dad,

there is no pain,

there is only laughter and love.

J’taime maman,

ta Caroline.

Later girls,

BB

By Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my mid early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

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