Missing Mom

Mom and I, much younger days.

Good morning everyone,

cloudy, muggy day here,

in my beautiful ugly.

Been ten months.

since my mom passed,

I miss her, but, she is with me,

and I believe looks out for me.

This flat.

even though it is very much,


has many of her things,

her books, her picture,

some of her furniture,

it all blends well,

with my things,

just as we lived together,

in good harmony,

with few false notes.

I love this picture above,

she is young and has this,

artsy look to her,

mom would laugh, she worked in a bank at that time, not artsy, she would say.

and me, well,

I am very much,

baby butch.

I used to tease mom,

that she didn’t get butch,

and then I look at this photo,

and I think,

she dressed me in those days,

so she sure got butch,

on this,


the haircut,

the turtleneck,

the pants with suspenders,

the only false note,

are the Mary Janes,

that we don’t see,

but, they are red,

a splash of colour.

Mom, I miss,

sharing things with you,


arguing about politics,

I miss your fashion advice,

you were mostly right,

and sometimes,

you would smile,

when I would say,

“Mom, that really isn’t Butch”

Rest In Peace,

you sure earned it.

Je t’aimes maman,

ta Caroline.

Later girls,


By Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my mid early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream


  1. Awww, BB, I’m so sorry. I like the conversation you’re having with her, in your mind, mixing past and present here. It reminds me of the way that Tomson Highway write/speaks of loved ones who are no longer WITH-us-with-us but are still WithUs. And I agree: back in those days, girls were as often in suspenders and turtlenecks as skirts and Mary Janes (yours were red! I never!). I was recently looking at an old picture myself and surprised by the boxy button-down shirt with tiny flowers on it and properly tailored shorts…only the flowers a feminine touch, but blue. Take care.

  2. Hi praise to be compared to Tomson Highway, thank you, and as always thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate your thoughts about…anything they lead to more food for thought. Be well

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