Bookish Butch – Page 95

Montreal, my home

I’m from Montreal,

it’s my home.

I have lived in this city my whole life.

I love it,

and,

sometimes I hate it.

When I’m hating it, I think anywhere would be better.

This usually happens when I read about,

the corrupt municipal administration,

and the lack of political will.

I often despair of our future,

crumbling infrastructures and ever increasing taxes.

It’s easy to find things I dislike,

garbage, noise, slippery sidewalks, idiot disputes about language.

But, then I walk down Ste-Catherine and feel the wind in my hair.

I hear people speaking French and English and Russian and Arab and Spanish

and many which I could not possibly identify.

The smell of grease and Szechuan pepper and hot dogs and donuts and coffee,

and I feel happy and hungry and home.

In an ever changing world,

it’s nice to have our spots,

places that never seem to change.

You get older and places disappear, no more Eaton’s or Ben’s or St-Lawrence Bakery.

But, Schwartz’s is still there and Steer Burger and for years I have been eating falafel from Basha’s

and Tum yum soup from Soupes et Nouilles(Soups and Noodles).

When it’s sweltering hot,

I like to sit in Dominion Square and look up at the Sun Life building,

Montreal’s first skyscraper and feel the slight breeze caused by the large buildings.

This is not a good spot in November.

I love my city and it’s Five Roses Farine sign and it’s graffitied ugly silos.

Urban rust and patina have always been charming and familiar to my eye.

Beautiful churches and ugly snack bars with orange Formica.

The old port and the Molson brewery.

East/West.

The Main.

The croonch sound of footsteps on snow on a really cold night.

I love them all.

The view from the mountain and the view from the Bonaventure autoroute.

You drink beer in any bar until 3 sometimes 4 in the morning,

and buy beer at the Dépanneur (corner store) until 11 pm.

I have never seen a Moose or a Mountie dressed in red serge ridding a horse.

I live in a modern and decrepit North American city.

A French and multicultural city.

It’s home.

What else can I say?

Later girls

Reading and hockey updates

Still grey and damp.

I’m not going to complain at least it’s not 40 degrees Celsius.

The Canadiens have lost 2 of their first 3, it’s OK still pre-season.

The bookstore has been quiet, it will pick up.

Yesterday, this really nice woman I know from the neighborhood,

brought in a whole bunch of books,

and among them,

was a dark blue leather bound Oscar Wilde, Stories.

This book is the perfect size to take on my train trip to Toronto.

It’s only 8 by 5 and contains The Picture Of Dorian Gray and many other stories.

I have never read any Oscar Wilde.

By, the time I get back from Toronto I will have.

I finished the Carver collection and I really loved it,

minimalism at it’s best.

I’m almost finished A Death In The Family by James Agee,

I’ve cried a few times,

it is poignant , not sentimental, raw.

I also started My Year Of Meats,

which I will be reading for my own version of a book club.

Well, I have to get ready.

Going to a family lunch/dinner for my favourite cousin’s birthday.

Later girls

TV doesn’t make you stupid

OK, I gotta tell you, it’s a grey day.

Also, the Canadiens lost their 1st preparatory match,

it’s fine, it doesn’t count.

One of my great aunt’s died, she was 91, a nice long life.

So, by my usual criteria,

and this combined with the moon and hormones.

I should be bummed and yet, I feel fine.

The fall really does seem to be bringing clarity.

I’m relieved, I was getting sick of grouchy and morose me,

I can only imagine what everyone else felt.

I have finally given up the need to “know” certain things.

Trying to understand,

peoples thought patterns and motivations is a waste of time.

But, I have always been stubborn that way.

I think I’ll concentrate on me and the good things I have.

I’m healthy and I have good hair.

Seems like a hell of a start.

With the fall season I have been watching TV.

I know some people,

seem to think that reading books and watching TV are mutually exclusive,

I’m not one of those people.

Although, I was raised in a bookish family, I also grew up watching TV.

I like TV and not only PBS.

Television doesn’t only rot your brain,

it can educate and entertain,

sometimes even,

enlighten.

Also, I find that TV is more and more for people like me,

women over the age of forty,

it’s about time!

Some of the shows I watch,

Private Practice, The Good Wife are quality shows

and the main characters are all women over thirty-five.

These shows are well written and deal with many thought provoking issues.

Bonus, they usually have beautiful women in the cast.

Julianna Margulies, Kate Walsh and Amy Brenneman,

it don’t get much hotter than that.

Mature, smart women, some might even be described as bookish,

if we were a tad delusional 🙂

be still my heart.

If I had to pick betwen books and television , I would go with books.

But, I would miss TV.

I grew up watching it,

many of my cultural references were acquired through the “boob tube”.

So when I can’t read, I can always watch television.

It’s comfortable and familiar.

Later girls

Takes One To Know One

I’m not feeling so good,

full moon,

hormones,

enough said.

Weather? Who cares.

I finished reading this book, I don’t remember if I told you about it,

Takes One To Know One by Kate Allen,

it was a gift from a friend.

I enjoyed it, and it managed to get me out of my mini book slump.

I liked the characterisations and it had quite a bit of humour.

I always appreciate humour, especially when in a funk.

The action takes place on would be women only land.

A murder takes place, it is a mystery.

But, really it is a portrait of the lesbian community.

In most of its vastness and complexity.

The quirks, the charm, the divisions and the bonds.

It also deals with Lesbian separatism.

I find the idea a little bit passe.

Not that I believe for a minute that women have attained equality.

It’s strange that I finish it,

on the day that I read a New York Times Obituary of Jill Johnson.

Jill Johnson wrote a ground breaking book , Lesbian Nation.

I have never read Lesbian Nation but,

I know that it deals specifically with Lesbian separatism.

I can appreciate the anger and sentiment that brought about such movements.

The novel asks relevant questions and deals with them in a mature, thoughtful way.

Deserves a read,

and I think I will probably read more of Allen s work.

Sorry for the brevity of the appreciation, but,

I think you get the gist of it.

Later girls

Book club proposition

Igor (the hurricane), is messing up what was supposed to be good weather.

I went to Central station this morning and booked my ticket for Toronto.

I told you guys about it,

gonna visit some friends,

as well as the great Canadian Metropolis.

Never been to Toronto.

I’m really pumped,

a vacation!

New city to explore,

and the Hockey Hall Of Fame ( YEH!).

I haven’t been on vacation in years.

So, the prospect of a weekend in Toronto,

feels like a two weeks of sand for most people.

I used to belong to a book club for queer women.

But, since two of the members,

including the founder,

moved away,

I have been a book club orphan.

So I had a thought,

I am going to read 5 books with a lesbian theme or by a lesbian author and discuss them.

Hopefully, some of you would like to read along,

and either post on your blogs or comment here.

The 1 st will be, My Year Of Meats by Ruth L Ozeki.

I purchased this book for the book club,

but, for some unknown reason,

we never read it,

it has been sitting on my desk since.

I will discuss it on the blog the last week of October.

Next, for the end of November,

The Mere Future by Sarah Schulman.

I think Sarah Schulman is a brilliant and original writer and have read most of her books.

But, not this one.

No book for December, Christmas, Hanukkah etc.

For January?

How about some suggestions?

I would truly appreciate the chance to discover a new author.

I am a neophyte at this,

so be gentle,

but, please give feedback.

Well, it’s bedtime,

Dude, my cat, awaits.

Later girls

The ones I carry in my head and heart

Weather = Nothing to complain about.

I’m still in a book slump.

Everything I have in my TBR pile is either too serious,

I’m not in a serious kind of a mood,

Or really,

well,

sort of boring,

I guess.

So, I thought I would improvise and tell you all about about some of my favourite characters.

Also, if you share my point of view,

or even better,

don’t,

perhaps you can share.

OK ,

so off the top of my head:

Holden Caulfield in The Catcher In The Rye.

I know, I know,

seems like an obvious choice,

but, hey,

I always liked him,

he’s profoundly human in a warts and all, kind of a way.

Misunderstood and smart ass a winning combination,

so real .

Harriet, of Harriet The Spy, again, very human,

who couldn’t love an eight year old budding spy/writer?

I read this book when I was well over thirty and I felt and fell for Harriet,

although sometimes she was a bit of a dweeb,

aren’t we all,

sometimes.

Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird,

because he is what I would like to be like,

when I grow up.

Seriously,

one of the most honourable characters in fiction.

Jo March of Little Women,

I love Jo,

I love everything about Jo, including her name.

She is smart and good and selfless and yet,

sooo much fun, the original tomboy.

She has flaws, but, minor ,compared to her spunk.

Love that girl.

I like to think today,

Jo would grow up to be a kickass queer girl.

Sidney Carlton of A Tale Of Two Cities,

the man gives his life for the woman he loves.

You know I always thought Dickens’ books were too long,

a case of being paid by the word.

A Tale Of Two Cities was just the right lenght.

That character left quite an impression on a fifteen year old.

He really rises to the occasion.

Recently, I read Stone Butch Blues,

it left a big impression.

Jess, the main character is so strong.

She suffers and she perseveres.

A quietly determined and dignified character.

She gets kicked in the face and stands up,

again and again.

She just wants to live her life.

Not attitude,

just, the right to be.

Powerful.

For those of you who didn’t read it,

do yourself a favour and do.

Well, those are some of my favourites.

I’m sure I could add many more but, I’m tired.

Later girls

Lyrics and warmth

Le ciel tisse une couverture en laine
L’été prépare ses quartiers d’hiver

Charles Aznavour- Je te Rechaufferais

(the sky weaves a woolen blanket,

summer prepares it’s winter quarters)

I will warm you (the translation is mine, but, I think you get the image)

It is a glorious morning.

The sky is blue the air is crisp and I slept very well.

To an insomniac, weather obsessed Canadian,

this is a very good thing.

I have been reading many book blogs, lately,

and I find that mine is very different from most.

I haven’t decided if that is a good thing,

yet.

I am impressed by the amount of work some people put into their blogs.

I think mine is more a stream of consciousness , kind of a thing.

I guess it’s about what’s on my mind.

So, maybe it isn’t really a book blog?

More personal, less literary.

Things take on a life of their own.

I guess I’ll just follow.

I have been listening to music this morning,

the apartment is quiet.

I had tentative plans that fell through, no big deal.

I think I needed the peace and quiet.

I was listening to an old Aznavour CD ,

I was actually going to say record.

I remember listening to him as a child on vinyl,

and later as a lovesick teenager on cassette.

Vinyls were special,

the big sleeves with liner notes,

the putting down of the needle on the record,

gently,

and sitting there and listening.

When I was young we listened to a lot of music in my house.

With my dad, it was Jazz and Classical and Rock.

With my mom, it was Québécois music and la chanson Francaise.

I learned to really love language, through lyrics.

Guys like Aznavour and Brel were giants.

In English, it was Dylan and Kristofferson who I always taught were the great wordsmiths.

Books taught me to love stories, songs taught me to love words.

So, as summer prepares it’s winter quarters.

I wish for you all,

many good books,

beautiful music (with or without lyrics, your call)

and someone to warm and who warms you.

Later girls

The Elements of A Style

Last night, I was going through my bookshelf looking for

The Elements Of Style by Strunk and White.

I bought this book for a College English class years ago.

It was obligatory.

It is a small book about the elementary rules of usage.

Originally written in the early twentieth century,

by an English professor at Cornell,

William Strunk Jr.

The version I have is revised and augmented by E.B White,

the author of Charlotte’s Web and a New Yorker contributor for many years.

It is a Tiny little paperback and invaluable.

Every Time I open it,

even randomly,

I learn something.

I’m not sure the Professor would approve of strangely punctuated blogs,

but, hey.

“Autre Temps, Autre Moeurs”

Looking through,

or perhaps just at, the little book,

sent me into a reverie about style.

Everybody has style or a style.

With some people it is not readily apparent.

For instance I never wear black shoes.

Who would notice this, unless I mention it or,

they accompany me on a shoe shopping trip.

I cannot remember a time,

when there has not been,

at least,

one blue oxford cloth shirt in my closet.

Over the years,

there have been Ralph Lauren’s, Lacoste and even The Gap.

For the last five years,

perhaps more,

they have been L.L Bean.

In fact most of my shirts are.

Decent prices,

sizes that fit and ,

“normal” colours.

Plus, they do Plaid even when it is not in style.

For years I longed for a pair of Blundstone boots,

because nothing says Butch like Blundstone.

The company should use that as a slogan!

I bought a pair last November,

I have worn no other shoes since.

Through the rain, the snow, the heatwaves, everything.

I take better care of them than any other item I have ever owned.

Freaky.

I clean, polish and condition them every week.

I think I can safely say I moisturize them more than my face. 🙂

I always had a thing for watches.

I wear no other jewellery to speak of.

Ten years ago, I discovered aluminum Swatch watches.

They look like stainless steel but they weigh practically nothing.

The reason I got the first one is they don’t turn my arm green.

People who use their cellphone as a timekeeper, freak me out.

The point of this rambling and quasi advertisement, is that,

we all have style.

What we wear, what we read, what we watch and who we love,

says much about

who we are.

Later girls

Gray all around

I have had a crap week.

The sky is gray and rain is imminent, but,

the weather doesn’t have much to do with it.

Customers? Very few and pretty much all weird.

There have been upheavals in the friendship realm,

but,

things are back to normal.

I hope.

Friendship is one of life’s greatest rewards,

also,

one of life’s great challenges.

On Sunday, I am going to The Lantern Festival at the botanical garden.

A little beauty in good company, sounds nice.

I’m stil reading the Carver, it’s a large collection.

I think it’s great but, I’m going to read something a litttle lighter this weekend.

A friend of mine gave me a copy of Kate Allen’s Takes One To Know One.

A lesbian mystery, yep I need that.

The last lesbian mytery I read was Veritas by Anne Laughlin.

I reviewed it at kissedbyvenus.ca back in june.

You should check out the site (in links) and the book.

Both are excellent.

On Saturday after work I’m going to see Eat,Pray,Love.

I hated the thirty pages or so of the book that I read.

But, Julia Roberts. I’m there.

My soul, eyes and heart need comforting hopefully that will do the trick.

Well, I don’t have much to say.

Later girls

The cleansing Fall wind

I love the fall.

Getting out my warm sweaters,

looking forward to wearing the old suede jacket.

Walking in the city on a Monday afternoon with the wind blowing through my hair.

When I walk in the fall and the wind is blowing,

I practically feel the airing of my brain.

You know how you air out a room with the windy fresh air?

That’s how I feel walking in the fall.

I made a new friend recently,

and she,

like me,

enjoys a walk by the river.

Montreal is on the St-Lawrence and the neighborhood where I live,

in spite of it’s many negatives,

is bordered by the river.

At night in the fall ,

you can walk without too much traffic and it’s pretty well lit.

We are still getting to know each other, so,

we still talk, constantly.

We’re both talkers,

and we haven’t gotten to the point of comfortable silence,

yet.

We will.

I’m having a lot of trouble reading anything right now.

I can’t concentrate except for short stories.

Of course, a major drought for me is three or four days,

so obviously it won’t last.

I’m still reading the Raymond Carver,

I like it,

it’s about ordinary people doing ordinary things.

Little sketches of people’s lives.

Damn good.

I realise, I’m not making it sound so interesting but, it is.

If you are fascinated by humans and human nature in all it’s forms,

it’s for you.

People living their lives for better, for worse.

Going to work, raising children, smoking dope, cheating on their mates.

Everyday stuff,

good/bad, lovely/ugly

and everything in between.

No rich people, no bourgeois’.

Working class and the idle poor.

Terrific.

The edition I am reading is,

The Library Of America’s Carver Collected Stories.

I love The Library Of America,

their editions are authoritative and they are reasonably priced.

The size and weight is just right to read and lug around.

Their mission, to keep all important American writing in print, is admirable.

Their non-profit status, even better.

I own a few and would like to own a few more.

When I take them out of the library,

I know I get an authoritative sample of an author’s work.

Well, that’s it for now.

Later girls