Categories
My Ramblings

Things, thoughts-change

Hi everyone,

hope all is well,

with you all.

I am tired and busy,

but, fine.

Mom hasn’t been so,

terrific lately,

we aren’t quite sure,

what is going on,

but, we are consulting,

and doing all we can,

to keep her healthy,

and find out what is,

the source,

so we can solve,

the problem,

fingers crossed,

and prayers,

much appreciated.

It’s Fall,

and Fall,

is my favourite season,

the weather, the colours,

the textures, the smells,

the harvest, the bounty,

school, sweaters, boots,

windy walks.

I could live without,

the cold rain, but,

into every life,

a little rain must fall,

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven*

I have been thinking,

a lot lately,

a common condition, for me,

I have been thinking,

about love, commitment, marriage.

I have been thinking about,

how fast life goes,

and goes by,

it seems like yesterday,

my mom was my age,

and I was a woman of thirty.

Don’t get me wrong,

I don’t want to go back,

the knowledge and grey hair,

I have acquired ,

the people I have known,

and loved,

I wouldn’t change any of that,

the good and the bad,

because it’s my life,

I would,

perhaps,

slow it down,

I would give my mom,

her vim back,

but, would I?

I have no control,

over health or the aging process.

When I was younger,

I thought I had plenty,

of time.

I knew love,

I felt love,

I was loved,

but, I never lived for love.

I come from a long line,

of marrieds,

I believed in marriage,

I also knew marriage wasn’t easy,

or perfect,

it required work,

it required compromise,

it required a promise,

to love for the duration,

of your life,

no matter what,

funny, a lot of people,

commit to each other,

make babies,

have families,

but, don’t marry,

I always wondered,

about that,

is it less a commitment?

I don’t know about others,

but, for me,

it is,

less of a commitment.

Some of that is tradition,

some of that is religion,

but, lately,

I think,

I’ve had this conversation, with a few people,

it is about public acknowledgment,

it is about standing before,

my family, my friends,

before the law,

and yes,

before God,

and saying,

I love this woman,

I vow to do all in my power,

to,

protect her,

shelter her,

from the storms,

of life,

to make her laugh,

to help her be,

her best self,

always,

as she does the same for me,

I promise,

to cut her some slack,

I promise to always give her,

the best of me,

to dance with her,

to hold her tight,

to love her,

I promise to be hers,

forsaking all others,

’til I die.

I want that,

I long for that,

I will patiently wait,

’til we can both have that,

and that is a change,

not because I haven’t always,

wanted that but because,

I allowed myself to believe,

that I did not,

and that ain’t gonna happen no more.

This butch is and always has been,

the marrying kind.

Be well you all,

and thank you for indulging me.

Later girls,

BB

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *