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My Ramblings

Recouping My Voice

Good afternoon my friends.

Hope all is well,

in,

your little piece of the world.

Here, Spring has sprung,

and not a second too soon.

We might still get cold weather,

flurries even,

but once you have had,

a day or two over 15 degrees,

that’s Celsius for my Americans,

the end is foretold.

So all week,

I have been listening to tunes,

making my playlists,

revisiting old favourites,

music has really helped,

center me,

and I need centering.

Since the beginning of confinement,

I have had issues with concentration,

trouble reading,

trouble focusing,

it hasn’t been conducive,

to creation,

to writing.

In the last few weeks,

maybe three,

maybe two,

things have shifted.

I have embraced the,

buzz cut,

I have taken to singing,

while doing the dishes,

dancing in the kitchen,

in the afternoon,

I have walked twice a day,

mostly alone,

exploring different parts,

of my neighborhood.

I have felt Spring,

in my hair,

in my nostrils,

I have come, alive,

again.

I have reacquainted myself,

with my blog.

Seeing it through,

someone else’s eyes,

has brought me back,

to my voice.

My voice,

is not universal,

it is mine.

I need to write,

my voice,

my truth,

and when I do,

it’s good, it’s better.

Watching an old James Taylor,

interview today,

his analysis,

about the highly personal nature of his work,

being about him, his life,

his experience.

It helped.

In the last year,

I had considered,

stopping my blog,

it had changed it wasn’t,

the same.

In the same way,

I have changed,

I am not the same,

butch,

who started this blog,

ten years ago,

but, you know,

I liked her,

and then for a while,

I lost her,

and now well…

she’s back,

older and having experienced,

more pain,

but, also,

yearning,

joy and discovery,

faith and love,

all of me,

is back,

with my scars and my faith,

my weirdness and my fun,

my past ,

my future.

Thanks for being here,

you all.

Later girls,

BB

2 replies on “Recouping My Voice”

That story that Brene tells in the beginning of Braving the Wilderness where she meets Maya Angleou (because holy hell that is just the most amazing life moment right there!) And Dr. Angelou sings that line, ‘Like a tree planted by the river, I shall not be moved.”

“What do you do when …when all of the sudden Maya Angelou is singing to you and telling you not to be moved? You learn how to plant your damn feet is what you do. You bend and stretch and grow, but you commit to not moving from who you are.”

🙂

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