Bookish Butch

In nine days,

I will be moving,

I am packing,

and on,

Friday and Saturday,

I have help, people driving,

me, lifting,

boxes of kitchen stuff,

clothes, wall hangings and stuff ,

over to the new place.

I still want to cull,

it still feels like,

I am going to clutter up,

my new place.

I don’t want to do that,

I want to unclutter my life.

I don’t want to win awards,

for minimalism,

and I appreciate,

lots of books,

and a lived in,

non antiseptic space.

But, I am sick,

of never,

having a clear work surface,

I am sick of vacuuming,

around stuff.

I want to unclutter my life.

I want to breathe,

I want time and space to think.

I have a job, I love,

that I find fulfilling,

it is also intensely,

social, and in the pandemic,

social means,

Zoom and company.

I want to have a haven,

where I can put the phone,

on the charger,

turn the computer off,

sit in a chair and read,

go for a walk,

talk to someone,

a friend, in person,

I want to unclutter,

my environment,

so I can unclutter,

my mind,

so I can unclutter,

my life.

I am so looking forward,

to,

Clutter be gone!

Have a good one,

everyone,

stay safe,

get vaccinated.

Later girls,

BB

New flat, front room, being painted and bathed in light

Good morning everyone.

I hope you are all well.

Been seven months since,

my mom passed away.

She is missed.

In thirteen days,

I will be moving into,

my new flat.

Every time I visit it.

I feel so good about it.

There is peace,

in it’s rooms,

people have been happy,

there,

have lived and loved,

in it’s rooms.

People I love will be,

above,

and bellow.

They are family,

not of the blood ,

but family, still.

So many thoughts,

vying for my attention,

so many things to do,

many working pieces,

and sometimes,

I have to say,

I feel a bit panicky,

and then I tell myself,

that I am the same woman,

who liquidated an entire,

bookshop in six weeks,

that I lived through,

the death of my dear mother,

organized her funeral,

in a pandemic.

That I got this,

and that so many,

family, friends,

have my back.

One of the last things,

my mom said to me,

was- I know you’ll be ok, you are loved.

It is true, I am loved, I am blessed,

I am full of gratitude,

and anxiety, trepidation.

I need to keep breathing,

I need to tame the thoughts,

I’ve got this!

Thank you all for ‘listening’

Be well, stay safe, get vaccinated

Later girls,

BB

Monday morning,

bright and early.

I actually got up before,

chubby boy this morning,

had a pee,

without an audience,

yay.

The start of a busy week.

So much to do,

seventeen days to,

the move.

I got my vaccine last week,

made me sore, feverish,

for a few hours,

and tired for a few days.

Still I managed with much,

help, to bring a load of things,

to the new apartment,

and to go out St-Sauveur,

in our Laurentians,

to buy some cheap old patinaed,

kitchen chairs.

This week I need to pack,

most of my clothes and my linens,

I will be moving those on,

Friday with my friend Kathy,

who has the sunniest disposition,

and a big SUV.

On Saturday,

my cousin is coming,

with his two eldest sons,

we will be delivering,

mom’s bed to a friend,

and bringing,

the living room furniture,

to the eco centre,

Friday and Saturday,

will be big days.

In between I have to pack,

my clothes,

make a path through,

house so this stuff,

can go out.

I have been dreaming,

of packing and moving,

for weeks, I don’t mean,

day dreaming either.

I have been worrying,

not getting enough sleep.

Have I forgotten something?

Do I need extra help?

On the day of the move?

Will Georgie be ok,

overnight at Denise’s?

Will he wake her?

Will he howl?

Will he pee on stuff?

All things that worry me,

and over which,

I have so little control.

Sigh.

But, there is also so much good stuff,

a new apartment,

freshly painted,

with lots of sunshine,

with lots of storage,

a purged set of belongings,

a new start,

a new life.

Monday morning,

and sun shinning through my window.

Have a great week you all.

Stay safe.

Later girls,

BB

It is done!

Yesterday,

in the late afternoon,

I was vaccinated at,

the Palais des Congres.

in the Chinatown of,

my beautiful ugly.

I am so relieved,

I am so grateful.

I am so happy,

that many of my,

compatriots,

my fellow 55 plusers,

decided to get vaccinated.

We are doing it to save,

our lives,

and,

to save the lives of others.

I am so grateful to the,

competent, smiling, lovely,

Mariepier,

who administered,

the dose of Astra Zeneca,

I am grateful,

that my government,

has made it available.

and yes, I am aware that I have used the word grateful three times, but, that is what I feel…. gratitude

This morning,

I have a little,

muscle soreness,

nothing serious.

I will look out,

for anything odd,

over the next,

couple of weeks.

I did my research,

I weighed the risk,

miniscule,

and I got the jab,

as the new vernacular puts it.

I urge all,

who can be vaccinated,

to be vaccinated.

I know that some people,

have health concerns,

but, ethical concerns?

rights violations?

I don’t get,

to me they give into fear,

and frankly ignorance.

Vaccines are the miracle of medicine.

They have and do save lives,

millions of lives.

By the size of the lines,

all around the city,

people are taking advantage,

of the opportunity,

if we can get to,

80 percent vaccination,

we can get herd immunity.

I don’t consider myself,

a blind follower,

a nameless sheep,

I have opinions,

I voice them,

but, I believe,

mostly,

in self preservation,

and social solidarity,

I always have,

I hope you all do,

too.

Stay safe, get jabbed.

Later girls,

BB

Good morning everyone,

I hope you all ,

have had,

a good,

Easter break.

I did,

saw some friends,

lots of church,

lots of culling.

It is now Monday,

late morning,

the neighour’s dog,

is barking,

I am attempting,

to drown her out,

with Pablo Cassal,

playing Bach on his cello,

breathe,

she is a sweet dog,

but,

a barker.

Still, I will miss her,

and I will miss Andre,

and a few others.

You don’t live,

over 30 years,

in a building,

without making,

attachments.

I am a social person,

but,

not one who visits,

with the neighbours.

Still…30 years.

I am not sad about,

the move,

I am excited,

happy.

Closing the door,

on a large part of my life,

opening a new one,

a pretty stained glass one,

to the next phase of my life.

Obviously,

my life isn’t,

completely changing,

I am still working the same job,

I am still living in the same,

neighbourhood,

I will be closer physically,

to some friends,

and marginally further,

to others.

I am planning,

where things will go,

I am trying to imagine,

they best way to install,

my possessions,

in the new place.

I am wondering how,

Georgie will feel.

I am getting,

a new couch,

a few rugs,

some blinds,

I am considering,

a new stove.

But, mostly,

I am moving on,

from a complex,

special part of my life.

A part of my life,

where my mom,

was the most important,

person in my life,

and I,

in hers.

We cohabitated ,

for 12 years,

but, the last 2,

were different,

than the others,

I became,

her caregiver.

It is to date,

the hardest,

most rewarding,

deepest love,

experience of my life.

It was challenging,

for both of us,

to deal with changing roles,

but, the love and trust,

that we had,

grew stronger.

I miss mom terribly,

and yet, I know,

it was her time,

that she is,

in a better place,

reunited,

with so many people,

she loved.

So, this is my time,

to chose, what I want,

to buy,

what will please and serve,

me.

The woman who’s photo,

appears at the top of this blog,

is different,

than 2 years ago,

she is more grey,

the eye circles are deeper,

she is tired,

she is hopeful.

She needs to be,

the most important person,

in her life,

at least for a little while.

In just 24 days,

I move to my new home.

I can’t wait

Stay safe you all,

enjoy Spring/

Later girls,

BB