In times like this, I am reminded of…

Hello everyone , I wish I could wish you all,

a Happy Spring, but Spring is MIA,

here in the beautiful ugly,

yesterday,

we had freezing rain, snow, and hail,

all within three hours,

oh yeah,

good times.

Ah well,

as my bff says,

it is what it is.

Yup.

I am in a season of my life,

which I hope I will look back on,

and see growth and beauty.

My mom is better all the time,

physically all is back to normal,

of course,

the never ending Winter,

the shock to the system,

the brush with mortality,

it’s hard for her,

it’s hard for me,

it’s hard for us,

we will get through it,

emerge from the tunnel,

to green fields and daffodils,

of Spring.

Simultaneously, I am looking to,

the next path in the winding road,

that is,

career,

life’s work.

At the suggestion of a good friend,

who works in adult ed,

I have started a career counselling process,

it is a program that,

the education ministry of Québec,

offers,

guidance counselling for adults.

I went the first time,

with an open heart, and an open mind,

not really knowing what to expect,

but, trusting my friend,

her professional expertise,

her kind heart.

Yesterday,

was my third appointment,

in three weeks,

and so far,

I have to say, it has been,

wonderful.

It has allowed me to examine,

with a professional,

who doesn’t know me,

all that I have done in my life,

and where it has lead me.

I must say that sharing,

this season of doubt,

has brought much support,

from my entourage.

Advice and opinions.

I know smart and caring people,

they want the best for me,

ultimately,

I must walk my road.

I thought that being in my fifties,

was a bit of a disadvantage in the workforce,

this is what I have heard,

from HR professionals.

I think that is definitely true,

in lots of fields,

but, not so much in the fields,

that interest me.

In community based work,

in some creative fields.

I want to do something that,

makes a difference,

I want to help,

I want to be inspired,

I want to grow and help others to grow.

I want something that,

benefits from my years of experience,

from my acquired knowledge,

I want to do something that lines up,

with my values, my beliefs,

that will bring me joy.

I can no longer take the first thing,

that manifests itself,

because I need a job.

I have faith,

in the process,

in myself,

in the future.

As lent is now in it’s last week,

my prayer, reflection and,

readings,

have both comforted me,

and confused me.

I have turned to the Psalms and Ecclesiastes,

complex, dense reading,

layer upon layer of meaning,

these books help me wrestle,

with my fears, my demons,

trust in me, in my people,

in God.

Help me to understand that :

For everything its season, and for every activity,

under heaven it’s time.

A time to be born, a time to die.

a time to plant, a time to uproot,

a time to kill, a time to heal

Ecclesiastes 3:1-3(the new english bible translation,1972)

Be well my friends,

later girls,

BB

Author: Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my mid early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

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