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My Ramblings

Here’s looking at you, kid

Good morning everyone.

After six days of melting,

exhausting heat,

we now have breezy weather.

Breezy weather is my favourite,

I can walk, I can think,

I like breezy weather.

I need to think,

I need to work,

I need to write.

A few months ago,

I put an end to what had been,

a long term relationship,

it was hard, ends are.

Beginning are all energy,

passion, dreams,

goofy grins,

dancing,

arousal,

what ifs.

Ends are hard,

questions,

is it me?

am I not enough?

why does everything end?

My previous relationship,

was long distance,

I loved her,

she loved me,

we both compromised,

I tried to make myself into,

the woman she needed,

I never managed that,

we gotta be who we are,

not who we think they,

need,

want.

It’s ok, it’s over.

In my mind,

as it was ending,

when it ended,

I told myself,

no more long distance relationships,

or just ,

not so far:-)

It was the pandemic,

I buzzed my hair,

I owned it,

I wrote about it,

I got positive,

attention,

I got messages and flirting,

I met people,

I met someone,

I told myself,

flirting is good for you,

nothing will come of it,

you are both consenting adults,

and I got swept up,

I fell hard,

for a woman who is extraordinary,

smart,funny, sexy af,

who thinks I am way more,

exotic and interesting than I am.

I am a romantic,

I allowed myself to think,

we could work things out,

that serendipity,

had not put us into each other’s path,

for no reason,

right?

And just like that.

I was single again,

and it hurts,

so much,

because tasting something so right,

you don’t want to give it up.

The timing was wrong,

we both need to heal,

from past wounds,

we need to find,

our,

me,

in order to become,

a we.

Serendipity wasn’t messing with me,

with us,

it showed us, it gave us,

a beautiful,

intensely passionate,

tender, joyful,

hot and sexy,

love affair,

an affair to remember,

a we’ll always have Covid 19,

kind of passion,

it gave us,

a friendship,

and an exotic place to visit,

someday.

My heart is large,

there is room,

for exes,

for friends,

for family,

for God,

and there will always be,

room,

for the one….

Be well you all.

Later girls,

BB

2 replies on “Here’s looking at you, kid”

Leave it in God’s hands, Caroline. I did and 35 years and 8 months later I still feel blessed. Pray and trust in Him.

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