The cold is Siberian.
I have been on a roller coaster of emotion,
Worrying about plans for my friend’s funeral,
things seem to be settled,
on that front at least,
I still don’t know when,
will find out today.
It has been a comfort to know,
that people did care.
I don’t think we should ever assume,
that people are really alone.
Betsy, lived alone,
she was not and is not,
I hope I can be there to hear Kaddish.
I’m upset and troubled about so many things,
I may need to rename the blog,
bookish butch melts down:-)
I started this year,
as you may recall,
optimistic and pumped for the future.
The first few weeks were good,
even sales at the store,
which is practically unheard of,
Things were great,
everyone was healthy and happy.
introduced me to a lovely woman,
we went out,
it was delightful.
I looked forward,
to slowly getting to know each other,
possibly developing a relationship,
The prospect seems dim.
I think as usual,
I suffered from over enthusiasm,
That should be,
one of my projects for the year,
work on not being so scary:-)
Personally, I enjoy intensity,
Passion is an important thing,
towards life, love, your career,
passion and curiosity are the great,
motors in my life,
they are what propel me forward.
I refuse to loose my faith in love,
and in the inherent good of people,
we must all live with our demons.
You have to get up every morning,
and try again.
My biggest problem,
I think and reflect too much,
it can occasionally border on the obsessive.
Why do I do what I do?
Could I have been better?
The fact is,
I’m far from perfect,
like every human creature on the planet,
I try my best to be sincere and real.
I over analyse,
I write to many sentences,
trying to be clear and concise,
attempting succinctness through verbiage:-)
I wonder if everyone is as confused and messed up,
you think I would have learned,
a few things over the years.
I’m 45 and still sort of clueless.