January light…

Hello everyone,

I hope all is well with you.

I hope the cold of Winter,

deep freeze January,

isn’t getting to you too much.

I won’t lie,

I don’t like Winter,

but,

some things about it,

are positives,

the quiet,

and most of all,

the light.

There is something,

about Winter light,

the pure,

crystalline light,

the kind of light,

that signals,

frigid cold.

Been an intense week,

looking at ways,

to do things,

differently,

online,

surviving the cold,

the curfew,

the depressing numbers,

of Covid cases,

of deaths,

scary.

I won’t lie,

I am having trouble,

not being angry,

at people who aren’t,

vaccinated.

I mean,

WTF,

but, then again,

it’s easy for me to say,

it my comfortable,

home,

with my comfortable,

life,

I have people to talk to,

bounce ideas off,

I have friends,

I have a lovely caring,

girlfriend,

I even have a,

gorgeous chubby ginger cat,

my life is good.

I don’t live in fear,

I don’t live on the street.

The people I am mad at,

are more the people,

who possess little,

social conscience,

makes me crazy…

So, when I go there,

I think of the fact,

that Catherine is coming over,

that we will have dinner,

watch a movie,

cuddle,

and that the light in January is,

remarkable.

Be well you all,

stay safe.

Later girls,

BB

Challenges and entering the uncomfortable…zone

Hello everyone.

I hope your New Year is off,

to a great start.

I have been thinking,

about pushing myself,

out of my comfort zone.

My job,

does, it stretches me,

in the best way possible.

My relationship is happy,

and, like nothing I have,

experienced before,

it too stretches me.

I need to stretch myself,

intellectually,

spiritually,

I need to learn,

I need to grow.

I need to imagine,

what I want,

from this new part,

of my life,

what it,

is,

what it,

will be.

I came across,

this fabulous quote,

earlier this week,

There is only one age: Alive

-Agnes Varda

So, this year,

I will try different things,

I will push myself,

out of my comfort zone,

where there is comfort,

there is complacence,

where is there is comfort,

there is stagnation.

I don’t object to physical comfort,

not in the least,

but, I do not wish my,

brain,

to become,

a rutabaga,

and my soul,

to shrink.

So I will push out,

my boat into some,

unexplored waters,

for my mind and my health.

Be well you all

Happy New Year.

Happy learning

Later girls,

BB

I May Not Believe in Resolutions but… I still Want My Pants to Fit

Hello everyone.

It’s Friday,

yesterday was my,

first day back to work,

very happy about it.

So, it’s Friday,

I cooked some chicken,

made stock.

Now have a pot,

of chicken veggie soup,

on the stove.

I just had lunch,

a protein shake,

with wheat germ and fruit,

it was pretty gross,

I need to tweak the recipe.

I will be eating/drinking,

protein shakes for lunch,

for the next month or so.

It isn’t a diet,

or a resolution,

I am just feeling and looking,

puffy, jowly,

I don’t walk as much,

in the Winter,

and I will be working,

from home,

for the next…

I don’t know how long,

so, the shakes and,

so it’s,

the return of,

what I like to refer to as,

butch aerobics.

I want to feel,

more energized,

and look less,

jowly.

Sounds reasonable to me.

What post holiday changes,

are you all implementing?

Have a great weekend.

Be well, stay safe

Later, girls,

BB

It’s a new year…

Let us not be timid about it, let’s embrace the new year.

I expect many of us,

are nervous about a new year,

nervous about having hopes,

for it.

Two pandemic holiday seasons,

makes some of us,

look around the corner like,

this Irish Wolfhound,

is it safe?

he isn’t really frightened,

he is cautious,

a little bit,

apprehensive.

Personally,

I love a new year,

a new calendar on the wall,

a new journal,

blank pages,

waiting to be filled.

Christmas makes me,

nostalgic and sometimes sad,

but, a new year,

brings hope,

the golden light of dawn.

What do I want to do,

this year?

Where do I want to go?

What do I want to read?

What I do I want to take up,

explore?

What skills do I wish to hone?

I have started doing,

new things,

I have done a little painting,

I want to explore that,

a bit,

if I keep liking it,

if it consistently brings,

joy,

I will invest more,

time and more,

money.

For the time being,

canvases, paints, brushes,

and an easel from,

Dollarama will do.

I want to cook more,

not just for occasions,

or for friends,

but, for me too,

cook better,

cook healthier.

I eat veggies and fiber,

I prepare oatmeal,

I make broth and soup,

I want to do more,

even more.

I want to write more,

blog posts,

and other things.

It’s a cold afternoon,

January 3 rd,

I am wearing Jeans,

a flannel shirt,

my North Face slipper shoes,

I am looking ahead,

to this New Year,

and I thinking,

C’mon,

I’m ready.

May your year be filled,

with plans and promise,

may you take time,

to care for you,

may you take time,

to listen to those,

you love,

let’s make this an amazing year.

Let’s stay safe and healthy,

but, let’s embrace the newness.

Happy New Year,

one and all.

Later girls,

BB

Right around the Corner

This may,

just be,

my last blogpost of 2021.

I want to step away,

from social media,

from all media,

a little.

Read, walk, paint,

listen to music.

I have spent,

four wonderful days,

with my lovely lady,

Christmas,

with the dearest of friends.

I am happy.

Next is New Year’s,

it will be quiet,

we must keep flattening,

the curve of omicron.

This is a time of year,

where we look back,

on the year,

that is on it’s way out,

and look forward to,

the coming year.

which is right around the corner.

I have so much,

to be thankful for.

The best friends,

a job I love,

a home which could not,

make me happier,

and, well…

an amazing woman in my life.

2021, was a year of healing,

of love,

a year of ending a bad relationship,

and embracing a healthy one,

a year of growth.

This is not to say,

I didn’t doubt myself,

that I didn’t feel,

scared,

sad,

angry,

at this f*****g pandemic.

But,

this year of continued,

not too extensive,

social interaction,

allowed me to get to know,

better,

in some cases,

appreciate more,

in other cases,

the wonderful people,

in my life.

I believe I have grown.

I am so much more,

attentive,

to my reactions,

knee jerk and other,

I have worked on myself,

I have learned,

about myself,

I have learned to listen,

to the voice deep inside of me,

I have learned that loneliness,

and longing,

can lead to rashness.

I have learned,

to take a breath,

make a cup of tea,

and not jump to conclusions.

I have learned that my mother,

was very right when she said,

‘you will be alright, you are loved’

I am alright,

I am loved,

I am standing,

and I am freakin’

Happy.

Hope your Christmas was lovely,

and that the New Year,

will bring,

love,

joy,

adventures,

safety,

and peace,

but, above all else,

in these times of Covid,

continued good health.

Be well you all.

Later girls,

BB

What a difference a year makes

Hello everyone.

Here in my beautiful ugly,

indeed in all of,

La Belle Province,

we have very high,

Covid numbers,

scary,

this new variant.

So,

it will mean a very quiet,

Christmas.

Last year, was different,

I had lost,

my mom,

only three months,

earlier.

I had a relationship,

that was loving,

but, complexe,

and most importantly,

long distance.

It was a hard,

bleak Winter,

cold, lonely,

and invaded,

by renovation noises,

coming from upstairs.

I missed my mom,

thank goodness,

for my church,

my job,

and most, especially,

my friends.

This year,

I have my new home.

This year I have,

Catherine.

I had hoped for,

museum excursions,

and maybe even,

a weekend get away.

Alas, it is not to be.

But, I have,

zero to,

complain about.

I am loved, I love.

Friends, family,

a woman who is,

smart,

independent,

kind, fun,

she makes me laugh,

she warms me,

she teaches me things.

I love her,

quietly,

passionately,

holding her,

dancing with her,

I am filled with joy,

we don’t make each other,

happy,

we aren’t each others,

everything,

we add to each others,

happiness,

we choose,

each other,

and to be happy.

I feel like all,

the loving relationships,

I have had,

led me here,

to a mature quietly strong,

woman.

So, yes, I am worried,

about this Covid spread,

and I will miss,

being with friends,

and family.

I am home,

I am warm,

I have food,

music,

the PVR is full,

so are my bookshelves,

the people I love,

are safe and healthy.

I hope,

the same for all of you.

A safe and quiet Christmas,

and a healthy and happy New Year.

Be safe my dears.

Later girls,

BB

Time to read, Time to think

I was supposed to be,

at a bake sale,

at my church,

this morning,

volunteering,

but, freezing rain falling,

on,

my beautiful ugly,

resulted in a wise,

postponement decision.

I got to read the papers,

and,

catch up on last week’s,

I cuddled with my sweet,

George.

Did the dishes,

did some laundry,

chatted with friends,

on messenger,

about the merits of,

And Just Like That…

the HBO revisiting of,

Sex and The City.

I loved Sex and The City,

I found it smart,

I found it showed,

the challenges,

of being a woman,

a liberated,

sexually free,

yet,

looking for love,

woman.

I liked the flaws of the characters,

real people have flaws,

well drawn characters do,

as well.

Carrie, Miranda, Samantha,

and especially,

Charlotte,

often drove me crazy,

but, I liked them,

sure they dressed,

way better than they could,

have realistically afforded,

but, realism is over rated,

and not always,

so ‘real’.

Their relationships,

were messed up,

but, seriously,

aren’t most relationships,

in your thirties?

I liked Carrie and Mr Big,

I didn’t think he was a,

nice guy,

didn’t seem like,

an amazing candidate,

for father of the year,

either,

but, that Moon River scene,

shows,

that there is something,

special,

there,

in that man.

So,

****Spoiler Alert****

when he dropped dead,

at the end of episode 1,

I was shocked.

They seemed to have,

found a good place,

with each other,

they seemed happy,

at a time in your life,

when can most savour,

your happiness,

your fifties.

Sigh, sad.

I have never appreciated,

my happiness,

as much as now,

my late mid fifties.

So sometimes,

you are disappointed,

by weather cancelling plans,

but, you end up,

getting time to read,

time to think.

Have a wonderful weekend,

you all.

Later girls,

BB

p.s if you have never seen the Moon River scene, here is a link

..and be grateful

words to live by

Hello all, I hope you are all,

healthy and well,

keeping the cold and sniffles,

at bay.

Been chilly this week,

in my beautiful ugly,

not the deep dead,

of Winter,

cold,

but, still.

This is a busy time,

of year,

the lead up to the,

holidays,

planning, shopping,

attempting perfection,

for everyone all the time.

But, that isn’t what,

the Christmas season,

is about,

it’s about recognizing,

just how lucky we are,

about sharing with those,

perhaps,

less lucky,

it’s about spending time,

with loved ones,

with friends,

it is about,

good will to others,

it is about,

being considerate,

of others,

it’s also about rest and relaxation,

reading, snuggling,

chocolate, charcuterie,

short bread,

sucre a la creme,

goodies,

and memories,

it’s about getting,

out,

mom’s ornaments,

attempting,

Grand-maman’s sugar pie.

It’s about being grateful,

for all that we have,

all that we have had,

it’s about love.

This is the secular part,

of course.

I am so looking forward,

to snuggling with my lady,

reading,

watching movies,

cooking special things,

going to art stuff,

not worrying,

that I need to get to bed,

because the alarm rings,

early.

I look forward to having her,

meet my family,

having my friends,

get to know her better,

she get to know them,

better.

This is such a happy time,

in my life.

I am blessed,

with friends,

with work,

with the good will,

that envelopes me,

I have been given so many,

lovely things,

since I moved.

I love my place,

and the neighbours,

are amazing.

Catherine says,

“it looks like you have lived here for twenty years”

it is lived in and homey,

my home.

I am grateful,

so grateful.

Be well my dears.

Later girls,

BB

The Pink Blanket

Wednesday,

evening.

I had a big lunch,

so dinner tonight,

was a bowl of,

shredded wheat.

First day of December.

The dark, grey,

time of year,

here in my beautiful ugly.

Just starting to get used to,

the cold.

Re learning,

as I have every year, since I can walk,

to walk on,

icy sidewalks.

I must say,

I find it more,

challenging,

than I used to,

or perhaps the fear,

of falling is greater,

I know that it hurts,

more,

now.

Been a busy week.

Been thinking about,

a few things,

reflecting.

Last week,

it was cold, damp and drafty,

and I decided,

to get out the hot pink blanket.

Growing up,

this blanket was on,

my parent’s bed.

It is the kind of blanket,

they don’t make anymore,

virgin lambswool,

mothproof,

made in Canada,

for a legendary department store,

that disappeared,

a few decades ago.

It had never really occurred to me,

to use it,

it seemed old fashioned,

belonging to another era.

My mom, had put it away,

maybe twenty years ago,

replacing it with a duvet.

It stayed in an old steamer trunk,

unused for years.

When my mom died,

in 2020,

I saw it in the trunk,

and didn’t know,

what to do with it,

I even offered it,

to an acquaintance,

when I was preparing to move,

in April,

he was happy to take,

the mattress and pillows,

but would not consider,

a pink blanket,

so I moved it.

As I took it out this week,

put it on my bed,

it cast a warm glow,

over the room,

the cream walls seemed,

different,

somehow.

I found myself,

grateful,

that this acquaintance,

attached such importance,

to gender specific colours.

Ironic,

no one,

would have ever described,

my dad,

as anything but,

virile.

Dad liked pink,

he thought it was a,

sensuous colour,

I agree,

I rarely wear pink,

but, it looks good on,

me.

I am glad I kept it,

keeps their energy,

close,

and that blanket is,

so warm.

I have spent lots of time,

listening to advent music,

In The Bleak Midwinter,

and watching interviews,

with the great Stephen Sondheim,

who passed away this week,

at the venerable age of 91.

I was struck by the simplicity,

of his songwriting tenets,

  1. content dictates form and style
  2. Less is more
  3. God is in the details.

I think Sondheim is a genius,

may he rest in peace.

Be well, stay safe and warm.

Love each other,

cut yourselves some slack.

Later girls,

BB

Watching Ru Paul

I love Ru Paul.

I have loved Ru Paul for years.

Brilliant, articulate,

spectacular,

no fucks given,

funny,

kind,

no corners cut,

Ru Paul.

But, I’m a Cheerleader, is a film I adore, you haven’t seen it?? Run don’t walk, find it, watch it, laugh your ass off, and cry

I haven’t really watched,

Ru Paul’s Drag Race,

American competitiveness,

is something that,

puts me off,

must be a Canadian thing.

But, recently in this dreary,

rainy, grey,

month,

that is November,

I have been watching,

frankly,

binge watching,

Ru Paul’s Drag Race UK,

and loving it!

Can I get an A-Men up here?

These queens were funny,

self-deprecating,

so talented,

every week,

they reinvent themselves,

and that is,

magic.

Because as Queen Ru would say:

Watching Ru Paul,

has reminded me to,

Do me,

that,

and that :

We need to stop,

worrying what others think,

fact is,

most people,

are much more interested,

in,

themselves,

than anyone else.

As an imperfect person,

I have made mistakes,

quite a few.

But, in the last 6 months,

I have made the choice,

to be happy,

to stop looking back,

I don’t need to, I remember

I made choices,

mostly considered,

that sometimes,

I have fucked up,

that sometimes,

I have hurt people,

and for that,

I am sorry,

but, on the whole,

I try hard,

I love,

I laugh,

I aim for kind,

always.

Ru Paul has reminded me of that,

quite the philosopher,

Mr Charles.

Be well you all.

Later girls,

BB