My Ramblings

A break in the film

Good afternoon everyone,

another scorcher,

here in,

my beautiful ugly.

I have been,

so very busy,

these last few weeks,

work, writing,

taking care of things,

socializing digitally.

The socializing I crave,

is not digital.

I walk with a few friends,

one friend at a time.

I go to the grocery store,

I go to the pharmacy,

I make beer runs,

and get mom’s lottery tickets,

at the depaneur,

convenience and/or corner store, bodega, for you non Quebecois types

Lately, my sore knee has,

not really allowed me to walk,

more than a few blocks,

at a time,

and the heat is…


But, that’s ok,

it can’t last forever,


But, the weirdest part of,

this year,

this Spring and Summer,

is this sense of,

break in the film.

My Godson,

graduated from High School,

I couldn’t go,

no ceremony.

The school did the best,

they could,

I saw the video,

I’m glad,

but is it the same as,

watching him walk,

onto the stage and receive,

his diploma?


Earlier, in June,

my Godson turned 18,

his brother turned 16,

my mother turned 80,

I made them all videos,

and in the case of mom,

wrote a blog post:

We are all doing the best we can,

to keep it together,

to keep the film rolling,


the soundtrack playing.

Our digital tools,


and yet,

my record is skipping,

and the nitrate cellulose film,

feels like it can catch fire,

at any moment.

I want my life back,

I want to go downtown,


I want to attend,

family barbecues,

I want to celebrate,

with laughter and tears,

hugs and handshakes,

wine and beer,

I want to,

in the immortal words of,

Whitney Houston:

Oh, I wanna dance with somebody
I wanna feel the heat with somebody
Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody
With somebody who loves me

I want to go out to dinner,

I want to go to the movies,

I want to go to the museum,

I want to have the possibility,

of dating someone,

of holding someone,

of kissing someone.

I want my life back!

But, I wear a mask,

I go out as little as possible,

I do my socializing and work,


I am a responsible adult.

I miss the spontaneity in my life.

I miss me,

I miss you.

Herein endeth the rant.

Be well you all,

stay safe,

stay hydrated,

wear your masks.

Later girls,


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