Notes on my spiritual quest-Part I

Mom is away for a few days, 
I hope she is having,
lots of fun, she must be,
she is with my aunt and,
they get on, very well.

I miss her when she isn't here,
it is definitely more quiet.
Mom is a whirlwind of sound and movement,
it is who she is,
and I love her the way she is,
but, quiet and solitude is good for,
everyone.

I have written of my new quest,
my spiritual quest,
my personal exploration of,
faith,
my coming to St-Jax's is quite,
serendipitous.
A part of my everyday landscape,
spoke to me, one day,
open modern church, all are welcome.
 
I have been going to service,
almost every Sunday,
since mid January and in the last,
few weeks,
I have been attending Alpha,
on Wednesday evenings.
I have gotten a few questions,
from friends,
both live and via social media,
on Alpha,
what it is, what it means.

I am no expert,
but, to my way of seeing,
Alpha is series of guided,
talks on Jesus, his life,
the meaning of life,
and our place in the world.

Alpha, starts with a meal,
the food is delicious,
varied and plentiful,
afterwards you watch a video,
and a group discussion follows.

So far, I have to say,
I have enjoyed it.
The people are lovely,
and welcoming.
My group,
is a good fit,
smart and reflective people,
who I like.

I am not sure that the videos,
would convince,
Atheists,
I think most people who come,
to Alpha and to the church,
come with an open heart,
a heart yearning,
for whatever hearts yearn for.

I say this not in a flippant way,
but, in a sincere way,
I think different hearts,
yearn for different things.

Mine, my heart,
and I believe by extension,
my soul,
yearns for meaning,
for purpose.
Some people yearn,
for love,
for acceptance.


I am not sure,
if St-Jax's and Alpha,
lead to that purpose,
maybe.
But, I do,
feel good and welcome,
there,
I feel centered,
at peace.
It's hard to explain.

I think faith,
is personal.

A framework,
guidance,
helps and may even be, 
essential,
but, to me,
it remains,
a relationship,
between me and,
my God-
like I said it's personal.

I share this with all of you,
because,
I share most of my quests,
with you,
it helps me to know,
what I think,
gives texture to my thoughts,
my ramblings.

There will be more of these

Take care all of you,
be well

Later girls,
BB




It isn’t always about choosing

Hello everyone,
hope the new year,
so far,
has been good to you.

Still holding true?
To your resolutions?
Making plans,
moving forward?


I've shared this before, Calvin and Hobbes, never gets old:-)

I have,
mostly,
stayed the course,
as far as,
my not overthinking things,
plan is concerned.

I had a slight,
slide back,
last week,
got all weird,
with myself,
others,
about expectations,
but...
I am back,
on my path.

You might recall,
in December,
I said I would,
pick a project,
a creative endeavour,
to work on,
this year.

I have spent,
more than a month,
being with friends,
family,
etc,
working, reading, 
watching, observing,
absorbing.

I have chosen to not,
chose,
not yet.

I will be taking,
the Alpha course,
at St Jax of Montreal,
exploring,
the spiritual,
in my life.

They are nice people,
very nice.
I still don't know,
if I will follow that road,

the church road I mean,

But I will follow,
the 'class',
ask questions,
meet people,
break bread.
With an open mind,
and,
an open heart.
I will also be,
attending,
Sunday service,
from now and up until,
the end of the Alpha course,
afterwards,
we shall see.

I am in my second week,
of an online,
photography class,
with shawacademy.com,
my BFF gave me a voucher,
for a free class.
I chose the photography class.

I love photography,
been taking pictures,
for a few years,
learned it on my own,
trial and error,
with varying results,
but,
it makes me happy.
If there is one thing,
I have learned over,
the years,
it's that you always,
have stuff to learn.

Even in the first few classes,
about basic principles,
a couple of lights,
went on in my head.
Very enjoyable.

My promises to myself,
to take concrete steps,
in political,
action,
are also moving along,
meeting people,
networking,
going to the women's march,
on Saturday.
A world wide collective,
protest to the disturbing,
trends in politics,
all over the world,
but,
mostly with our neighbours,
to the South,
we stand with you,
sisters and brothers.

Keeping my journal,
reading everyday.
Being the best,
friend,
daughter,
girlfriend,
person,
I can be.

Letting,
light,
beauty,
thought...
in.
 
Going to keep doing that,
for a while,
sometimes,
it isn't abut choosing,
it's about being.

Be well you all.

Later girls,
BB


Yup, it’s resolution time

Hello all,
I hope your holidays,
whichever you celebrate,
have been,
joyous.

Mine were nice,
quiet.

On Christmas Eve,
mom and I went to,
a Christmas service,
at a wonderful,
Anglican Church ,
in downtown Montreal,
an open modern church,
where all are welcome.
Indeed, we felt welcome.
It warmed our hearts.

I took this picture of my fave church a little more than a month prior to the Christmas eve service, it has long been my favorite downtown church(and we have many beautiful churches and cathedrals) it's the architecture, the  church yard, the location, all of it, a whole, that I cannot adequately explain. I had never been inside before Christmas Eve

 

this picture of the interior of St-Jax of Montreal(formerly St-James The Apostle Anglican Church) I took on Christmas Eve 2016

I am an agnostic,
have,
pretty much,
always been.
But,
in these last few months,
I have felt,
adrift.

I am not miserable,
I am not suffering,
but,
I do long,
for...
meaning.

I suppose most of us do.

I have found that,
I disappoint myself.
I am angry and hurt,
much too easily,
touchy, prickly,
more than before.
I expect people to be,
who and what,
they aren't.
I have been a pain in the ass,
especially to my mother,
and,
my girl.

To be clear,
I have much to be grateful for,
family, friends,
good health,
a strong mind.
but..
I need more,
stimulation and conversation,
thinking and pushing myself.

I need meaning,
I need to make a difference,
to people,
to my little corner,
of the world.

I think the church,
might be an avenue,
towards that,
also,
civic involvement.

I became a member,
last year,
of a wonderful,
municipal party,
here in my beautiful ugly,
Smart,caring, 
engaged people,
I have met,
in it's ranks.
Recently,
we elected a vibrant, brilliant,
woman at it's head,
and when,
her victory was announced,
I vowed that I would,
work towards,
having her elected,
Montreal's first,
woman mayor.

So this year,
I will write more,
and work harder at,
it.
I will read more,
and, deeper,
think, reflect.
I will share,
what I am passionate,
about,
with you my 
readers,
be it,
faith, culture, politics,
and,
I hope you will,
comment,
and,
join me,
in a conversation,
about ideas...
life...
all of it

May the hard year that,
2016,
has been,
end on a soft,
peaceful note,
and may we all waltz,
joyfully,
into 2017.

Be well,
all of you.
Stay healthy,
strong,
hopeful,
and,
kind.

Later girls,
BB