new homes, memories

I took the day off,

today.

It was gloriously sunny and blue skied.

That isn’t the reason,

I took the day off.

I took the day off,

because my ole butt,

was dragging.

🙂

I sold the balance of,

my stock,

to a guy,

and,

I have been packing it up.

Big job,

lots of packing,

bending and lifting.

I don’t carry,

the boxes to his truck,

can’t with the hernia,

but,

I did pull it,

a little.

So, today,

I rested because,

I feared I might,

hurt myself.

I feel rested,

and,

it probably represents,

another day,

day and a half of work,

so I’ll be fine.

Some of my bookcases,

are gone,

some will be picked up,

this week,

some still need to find,

takers.

Two of them,

well,

more like four, since they are two sided.

are now at Francoys’

my friend the anarchist,

they look,

fabulous,

organic,

like they have always been,

there.

That is very special to me,

that a portion,

of my little bookshop,

should live on,

in the home,

of one of my dearest friend’s,

they are filled,

almost,

with well loved,

well read,

books,

and mementos,

many of the books,

have been acquired,

in my shop,

just as many,

not.

He and I are very happy,

about that,

fitting.

Some I know,

are going to book lovers,

homes,

I’m even gonna have, a set, in my apartment,

the others,

will live on,

to bring beauty and storage,

to different places,

I like that idea.

Most won’t be used,

commercially,

which I also like.

They will live on,

elsewhere,

with some of the memory,

of the books,

they have held,

and,

the company they have kept.

By the first of May,

they,

the books,

the pictures,

and,

even the dust bunnies,

will be gone,

and,

by the heat of Summer,

the cafe,

next door,

will have expanded,

the world thirsts for coffee, chai and smoothies, much more than for books.

That’s OK,

I like coffee,

and,

I like the owners of the cafe,

They are good, hardworking people,

the cafe isn’t a chain,

it’s local,

it’s independent,

and,

it is part of the neighbourhood.

So even though it isn’t up,

to me,

I’m glad it’s them,

again,

fitting.

Another few more days,

and,

I will be officially,

on vacation,

maybe even,

Gone Fishing.

Looking ahead,

to what?

Still,

no clue,

but,

it’s all good,

I feel fine.

Later girls,

BB

 

What doesn’t kill you….

It’s a grey, cloudy day.

The fill a bag for ten bucks thing,

was a big success,

lots and of lots of books,

went out,

to new homes,

to adorn bookshelves,

to bring joy and knowledge.

Gave me spending money,

for a few weeks,

I’m glad,

on both counts

🙂

Came home,

to a fish and chip dinner,

mom is good to me,

and,

sat down,

I was wiped.

I watched the hockey game,

the Habs got their butts kicked,

third game in a row

(:

They have been playing,

wonderfully all season,

like a team,

maximising what they have,

youth and enthusiasm,

but,

the last few days,

their mojo,

is off,

jammed.

The season is short,

because of the lockout,

so they need to turn it around,

quickly,

but,

honestly,

they’ve done better,

than any of,

the experts,

and,

naysayers had predicted.

Thing is,

we should never,

listen to,

experts,

and,

naysayers,

in matters of dreams,

and,

passion,

follow your guts,

follow your heart,

and,

of course,

follow your head and reason,

your experience,

combine passion and reason,

and,

live your life,

as sweet as you can,

as hard as you can,

and,

if you fail,

if you fall,

so what,

get back up,

dust yourself off,

cry, rage, scream,

if you think,

it will get the bad stuff out,

but,

don’t wallow,

sometimes you will have to rest,

lick your wounds,

to help them heal,

but,

picking at scabs,

doesn’t help,

onward, upward,

to infinity and beyond,

Buzz Lightyear knows!!!

So even if the Habs don’t win,

the Stanley Cup,

so what,

as long as they don’t give up,

and,

give it their damndest,

that’s good enough for me.

and,

even if some people,

think I failed in my bookstore,

I don’t care,

truly,

’cause,

I gave it my best shot,

and,

I walk out,

proud of myself,

of what I have gained,

of what I have given,

no one was swindled,

no one was stiffed,

no bitter taste,

no regrets,

screw the naysayers,

it was a hell of a ride,

bumps?

waves?

sure,

but,

lots of sunny riding,

lots of smooth sailing too.

An incredible personal experience,

a massively growing experience,

growth is what we want.

This experience hasn’t come close to killing me,

but,

it has made me stronger!!

Later girls,

BB

 

 

 

A few pics:-)

I’m at home today,

feeling sort of wiped.

I’ve decided,

due to popular demand:-P

to run an extra two days,

get as many books out as possible.

I wanted to share with you all,

a few pics,

taken in the last days.

 

 

Photo : One of the last photos taken of me, behind the counter. Taken by my good friend, Neath Turcot, photographer extraordinaireMoi

My friend Ken, the photographer took this one,

on the Friday,

my girl thinks I look ‘bookish’ in that sweater:-)

Books, lots of books!!

Less books

Looks positively bare,

but,

no,

there are still,

books,

mini virtual tour,

and one tired looking ole bookish butch,

Have a great day:-)

Later girls,

BB

I’ll miss it, but, I’m glad it’s over

It is a beautiful sunny day,

chilly and bright,

Spring,

one of it’s many moods.

Yesterday was my last day,

open to the public,

I may have a blow out sale for a day or two, you know, one of those fill a bag ten bucks kind of deal, but, basically yeah, that’s all she wrote.

The last day went well,

very well,

exceedingly well,

lots of sales,

and,

aside from the appearance of,

the usual turkeys,

a positive atmosphere.

Most of the gang,

my salon guys,

people who like to talk,

books and politics,

and,

who strangely enough,

are,

mostly,

men,

also quite a few,

neighborhood people,

coming in,

to show solidarity,

and,

to witness,

the closing of what is,

yes,

I admit,

an,

institution.

Hard,

to be the one,

to close the local bookstore,

down.

Of course,

I had limited options,

and,

I kept it going,

much longer,

I think,

than most others,

would have managed.

Still….

I remember when I bought the place,

and,

moved,

lock, stock, barrel,

and,

tens of thousands of books,

down the road,

I don’t suggest this as an activity, it gave me a hernia, literaly!!

I remember picking the pictures,

to illustrate the sections,

erecting my door of writers,

the door that leads to the basement had dozens of pictures of writers, found on Google images or from the back jackets of damaged books- poets and playwrights, novelists and essayists, Quebecois, American, British, French, German. Popular and slightly obscure. Some like Hemingway, Twain and Whitman, with instantly recognizable faces, some that customers needed to squint and read the label. I was proud of that door and  the idea of illustrating famous names with often, unknown faces. All the pictures were black and white, stood out, not too much, just right I think:-)

I remember picking the wall colour,

a sandy beige,

going with a strange,

peach for the doors,

to the basement and the bathroom,

as well as the window display,

I thought the sun would look good,

reflecting off the peach,

I sort of regretted it ever since

🙂

I was proud of my quaint ,

and,

yes,

dusty

😛

little bookshop,

it was mine,

I believe my personality was,

reflected throughout,

both beige and peach,

bookish and occasionally,

dusty.

I will miss it,

the look of it,

the sound of it,

the smell of the books.

the smell of coffee,

from the cafe next door.

I won’t miss,

the cold and draftiness,

the wool sweater from,

October to May ness of it,

the swealtering hot of the Summer,

the noise and the dust,

from the street,

the endlessly need to be jiggled toilet.

I will miss,

the quiet,

the time to read and talk,

really talk,

about things other than the weather,

and,

the corruption of our politicians.

I’ll miss the intelligent discourse,

and,

the helping people find books,

discover the wonder of reading.

The wonder of young people,

having confidence in your experience,

and choices,

the trust, the mentoring.

I won’t miss the people who forever seek,

the flavour of the month,

and,

who tell themselves,

they are doing you a favour,

by coming to your store rather,

than going to the big box bookstore,

they aren’t, you don’t have, nor want, Fifty Shades Of Grey!!!

The bookstore era,

represents,

eight years of my life

A period in which,

I have grown,

Immensely,

and,

also well,

aged.

I find that I have so much more,

patience about helping people,

and,

taking the time,

and,

so much less with pretension,

and,

time wasters and rudeness.

I have loved my bookstore,

my customers,

I gave them lots,

and,

they have given back,

so much.

RIP Encor’lire,

I’ll miss you.

(:

Have a great day.

Later girls,

BB

***I’ll publish some before and after pics soon and tell you about the dismantling, but, the bookstore era is now, over. I hope I didn’t bore you all too much with this stuff***

 

 

Last Day

Well,

today is the last day,

I am open to the public,

last weekend!

Weather isn’t great,

but,

yesterday was worse,

been a rough Spring!

I remain optimistic,

one way or another,

today is the last day,

let’s hope we go out,

with a bang:-)

Next week,

liquidate the remainder,

to a dealer,

whatever,

and,

begin,

dismantling and cleaning.

Wish me luck:-)

I look forward to getting back,

to writing,

about something,

other than my emotions,

regarding,

the end of the bookstore era.

I’m thinking you girls,

are looking forward to that,

too

😛

Thanks for putting up,

with my ramblings,

and,

soon,

the once ebullient,

BB,

will be back,

butch’s honour.

Have a good one.

Later girls,

BB

Being liked is a wonderful thing

All in all,

a good week,

an excellent,

weekend.

Saturday,

the bookstore was hopping,

lots and lots of people,

good customers,

good friends,

come to pay,

their respects,

to the soon to be,

departed.

People have been saying,

the nicest things,

Saturday?

A veritable love in:-)

Good for the ego,

good for the soul,

good for what ails you.

People keep asking me,

what I’m going to do,

next,

I guess that’s what they mean,

funny,

I have no plans,

beyond,

time off,

and,

visiting friends in Toronto.

My life has been,

so,

regimented?

Maybe not regimented,

but,

so,

about and around,

the bookstore.

I suspect,

that after the initial,

recharging of the batteries,

re-becoming me,

whoever that is,

will happen.

I don’t mean I’ll be passive,

but,

finding,

the next part of my life,

will happen on it’s own,

as I rest and work,

and,

live.

I’ve invested much of myself,

and,

my lifeblood,

into the bookstore,

some would say,

too much,

for what it has brought me.

I suppose from a,

future,

financial stability,

nest egg,

perspective,

they would be right,

the bookstore,

wasn’t the smartest of,

investments,

and,

yet…

it has allowed me to,

meet such wildly interesting people,

and,

also to see the cheap vulture part of,

people,

but,

I knew that,

and,

ultimately,

that isn’t important.

I stand tall,

not bowed,

strong,

and,

soon,

to be,

free.

There is no big nest egg,

or even little one,

but,

there is no financial ruin,

either.

I have so much to look forward to,

and,

now I can,

I won’t be spinning,

my wheels,

in mud,

waiting for it to dry,

I’m out of the mud,

and,

soon,

a shower,

a change of clothes,

and,

some new boots,

will allow me,

to take up,

another fork,

in the road.

On Saturday,

after an amazing sales day,

I went to see a friend’s,

photo exhibit,

at a local cafe.

It was marvelous!

Not just the art,

which rocks,

but,

the smart, thoughtful, conversation,

of good people,

who do what they like,

for not much,

in the way of financial rewards,

but,

you know,

they’re happy,

and,

they take the time,

to sit and talk,

about ideas,

about the state of the world.

They have battle scars,

and,

wounds,

in some cases,

the scar tissue hasn’t,

formed completely,

but,

they laugh,

they have righteous,

indignation,

anger,

even,

but,

also,

joie de vivre,

they carry on,

they live,

we do,

you know.

Life isn’t only about,

what you do for a living,

it’s mostly about living.

It’s also about,

taking stock,

and,

knowing,

that all the love,

friendship,

and,

good will,

that surrounds us,

is,

bound to keep us,

afloat.

I am a lucky butch,

people are good to me.

to paraphrase Sally Field,

they like me,

I think they really like me

😛

Be well,

you all.

Later girls,

BB

Spring, and does a butch without a bookstore smell the same? :-)

Spring,

is in the air,

the nippy, cold air,

but,

still,

Spring,

ah yes, I can smell the,

freedom.

Things are moving right along,

scary,

to see how many books,

are gone,

are still,

there.

Been, dreaming,

in between,

selling lots of books,

🙂

of time,

off,

on my own,

visiting,

friends,

discovering,

places, sounds, smells,

urban exploration,

in Montreal,

in Toronto.

Reconnecting with me,

perhaps,

finding new parts of me.

I’ve also had visions of,

fly fishing,

and,

quiet introspection.

I’m a city butch,

love the sights,

the sounds,

but,

I also long to be away,

from the noise,

the stink,

the always in a hurriedness.

Haven’t had much time,

to read,

and,

to be perfectly honest,

I don’t feel like it.

The closest I come to reading,

right now,

is perusing the net,

still have,

my menswear obsession.

Planning my Spring and Summer,

choices.

I’ve come across,

some interesting,

butch and queer,

blogs,

nice content and perspectives,

http://thehandsomebutch.tumblr.com/,

http://qwearfashion.com/,

http://www.dapperq.com/

fun and young,

worth a look,

for sure.

I do find that some,

of these blogs,

aren’t really for me,

but,

that’s the thing with,

style,

you tweak, adapt,

steal,

and,

you come up,

with,

you.

Strangely enough,

when I was putting this,

blog together,

I toyed,

with calling it,

the handsome butch,

nod, nod, wink, wink,

you know all very tongue and cheek,

but,

I figured,

handsome,

was in the eye of the beholder.

The handsome butch,

is definetly handsome,

and,

has great style.

I wonder,

if I’ll keep the bookish butch moniker,

or if maybe,

I’ll the butch,

formerly known as bookish

😛

Footloose butch?

Rudderless butch?

A butch goes fishing?

Dude’s butch?

Gently graying middle aged butch?

Identity crisis butch?

TMI butch?

naw, I’ll keep bookish,

after all BB,

is me.

Have a great day.

Later girls,

BB

Easter weekend

Beautiful day,

sunny and clear,

we are supposed to hit,

seven or eight degrees today,

positively balmy,

looks like Easter weekend,

will be spectacular.

I hope that means good sales,

for me,

but, it could go either way,

the temptation to walk around,

get the bicycle ready,

all that,

fingers crossed,

I’ve had a few of my good customers,

in already,

today,

they express sadness and regret,

it’s hard,

I keep living it,

over and over again,

and,

yet,

I’m so glad to get a chance,

to say goodbye,

and,

give them a chance at some,

real bargains.

It gets a little harder,

day by day,

more cold and echoey in here,

as there are less and less books,

to insulate form the cold,

to keep out the noise.

I’m glad of it,

the objective is to sell them,

and,

move on.

This in between time,

waiting to move on,

to the next phase,

of my life,

and,

yet,

so sad at the end.

Conflicting and contradictory feelings,

much to be learned by this,

experience.

I’m reading Walden,

I find Thoreau,

has some very interesting,

notions,

points of view.

Much of which I agree,

with,

being true to yourself,

not being a sheep,

or follower.

I also find him,

judgmental,

and,

sexist,

I know,

I know,

he is a product of his time.

He has many qualities,

I admire,

earnestness,

resilience,

a strong work ethic,

a belief in the need of bettering yourself,

intellectually,

examining your life and your beliefs,

but,

he is also dry and well,

humorless.

A good read,

takes time and concentration,

to absorb,

both of which I have,

in short supply,

right now,

but,

it just may be the ideal read,

for this period of my life

🙂

I hope you all have,

a joyful and restful,

long Easter weekend.

Don’t over do the chocolate

😛

Be well.

Later girls,

BB

On Spring and marriage? Sort of

It’s Thursday morning,

a beautiful sunny Thursday morning,

Spring is definitely in the air,

in the bite of the air,

more a nibble maybe,

it isn’t close to hot yet,

but,

the light,

ah the light is beautiful:-)

It’s been another tough week,

full moon, Spring like light,

turns people into,

well,

to put it nicely,

lunatics!

Just so you know,

I include myself in that,

I’ve been grouchy and antsy,

all week,

today’s weather,

and,

the upcoming long weekend,

should help.

If any of you,

believe in,

positive energy,

vibes,

and,

you feel,

you might have some,

to spare,

send some over to BB,

will ya?

😛

More than half the books,

gone,

some days,

those bad dark days,

I wonder if they’ll ever be all gone,

some negative naysayer types,

pissing you off,

and,

then a light nice person says,

‘wow, you’ve sold lots of books’,

there will always be,

piss in your cornflakes types,

and,

there will always be balm to your soul types,

the trick is to avoid the first.

Soon, I can cross the street when I see them.

Lots of talk all over the social media,

of marriage equality,

in the U.S,

thought I would share some,

of my favourite,

pictorial support descriptions,

avatars.

We have equality of marriage,

in Canada,

which is not the same,

as saying we have no homophobia,

but,

it isn’t state sanctioned,

the homophobia, marriage is:-)

So here are my favs,

My current face book profil picture,

designed by my friend Chris.

Timothée Lee Dann-Barrick

Nice and plain,

makes a statement.

Sebastien Lebeau-baril

Jacynthe Bernard

Bert and Ernie, variations.

and,

my current fav,

oh yes,

I always knew she was Butch,

smokin’ hot,

Photo

Wow.

Wether people, gay people,

want to get married or not,

to me,

isn’t really the question,

the point is,

who are the government,

the state,

to tell ‘us’,

‘them’ they can’t.

Have a great day,

hope it’s sunny and Springlike,

wherever,

you are.

Later girls,

BB