Change is brewing

Hello all.
Last week, 
I was going to write,
a post,
on style, 
the evolution of personal style,
with age, with life.
I was about halfway through,
and then something-
a noise, a call,
I don't know what,
distracted me,
and then I lost the thread,
that happens with writing,
you are pounding away and,
then a noise, a fly,
weird taste to your coffee,
an invading thought,
and you are toast,
not another word comes,
dry well!!
You can blame it on,
someone else.
Noisy bloody neighbours,
dish washing mother,
but, in the end,
it's a foggy idea,
a vague notion of what you,
really thought you wanted to say.

Truth is,
sometimes we force,
ourselves to write because,
it's been a while,
and,
sometimes it works,
other times, really not.
Last week,
was one of those times.

I don't think,
what I had to say,
about style was ground breaking,
or even,
new,
so,
no big loss,
onwards and upwards.

The month of October has been,
gorgeous,
here in our beautiful ugly.
Warm and mostly sunny,
kind of odd for Montreal,
but, definitely enjoyable.

At the beginning of the month,
I felt strong and positive,
happy,
as the month has progressed,
I have felt weaker and more,
emotionally raw.
This happens to me,
in the Fall, or so my mother says.

Little things bug me,
throw me off my game.

My new gig is good,
but, last week,
after an off night,
I doubted myself,
was I good enough?
could I do this?
Of course, I am
Of course, I can

Fact is I think a combination,
of confidence and doubt,
kindness and humour,
perseverance and flexibility,
are required,
keys to understanding,
to living your life,
well,
living my life.

My confidence and patience,
both with myself,
and other people,
have been off lately,
change is hard,
growth is hard and painful,
wallowing and bitching,
are the easy way out.

Through the changes,
through the mistakes,
we all have to find,
time for gratitude.

For health,
for family,
for friends,
for love,
for the passions,
that inhabit us.

The world is a frustrating place,
politics can be wacko,
we live in an age,
where misinformed belligerence,
passes for an opinion.
But, there are wonderful,
people working hard,
to make the world a better,
fairer more joyful place.

I want to keep an open heart.

So I wrote this a few weeks ago, it has stayed in my draft box, since, unfinished...

This is the time of year,
where I reflect on the past year.
This year has a lot to recommend it,
a year of involvement,
political, spiritual.

A year that on the whole,
has been:
positive.
A year of changes,
spits and spurts.
The end of some things,
beginnings of others,
some great starts,
some mistakes.

All this to say-
I think that I can,
no longer refer to,
Bookish butch,
as a blog about books and life.

I have another domain,
that I reserved about a year,
ago,
called butchesbrew.com
I will be launching that in,
January 2018,
it will be about things,
cultural, in a very wide sense.
My take on,
books, films, tv,
social media, fashion.
It will feature photography,
and lots more.
I haven't worked it all out yet,
but,
it is my intention to do collaborations,
giveaways etc.

Bookish butch will remain,
as,
my virtual column,
my journal.
About my life,
my views on religion,
politics,
aging, my everyday,
struggles and triumphs.

So I will be taking some time off
to concentrate, elaborate.
Figure out how to pull it off.

I will follow my gingerbread crumbs back to where I need and want to be.

Hopefully you can all accompany me

Be well, all of you.

So grateful for all of you.

Later girls,

BB


 

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Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my very early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

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