September disguised as Summer

Hello all,
hope you are all well,
are you experiencing a heat wave,
where you are?

Here in my beautiful ugly,
our Summer heat has hit,
in what is technically,
the Fall.
It has been sweltering for,
the past few days,
and although I am glad to have,
a mini Summer,
it's a little hot for me.
When it's crazy hot,
I get cranky,
I have trouble concentrating,
makes ole BB a bit of a,
dumb dumb
:)

I have been doing a lot,
of thinking,
and a lot of being,
lately.
Thinking about the future,
what I want,
because I know,
what I don't,
want.
Also, I have been hanging out,
with friends, with my lady,
with my church folk.
being, me.
Enjoying the city I love,
trying to give myself time,
to find the next thing

I left my job,
found another,
and although it went,
ok, 
better than ok,
it wasn't right for me.
I used to not follow,
those gut feelings,
talk myself into things,
allow others to influence,
my decision process.

I find now,
that I trust more,
in the future,
that something will,
happen,
because it always has.
That even though,
it's been a few years,
since I closed my,
bookstore and that I,
haven't found the next,
big thing.
I have worked,
I have made new friends,
I have been involved,
politically,
I have done and will continue,
to do,
my literacy work.
and yes,
I have church.

I think all of you,
who read my blog,
know,
that I have been,
going to church since,
February.

I love my church,
the people,
the building,
the warmth,
the laughter,
the intelligence
the sense of community,
the constant food for thought.

I have a little confession to,
make,
I know a lot of smart people
that isn't the confession,
and for the longest time,
I thought, religious people,
might have been a little bit,
slower.
And, yet, I envied people of faith,
they were so sure...

The more I investigate, faith,
the more time I spend,
reading the bible and other books,
the more I believe that faith,
isn't so much about certainty,
as about...
trust.

I have issues with 'them against us',
notions of the world,
be they nationalistic or ethnic,
or religious.
I don't believe Christians,
are better than Muslims,
or Jews or Atheists.
I don't believe that,
Canadians are better,
than Ethiopians.
I believe men and women are equal,
I believe gays are every bit as good,
as heterosexuals,
and I think my church friends,
know that, respect that,
and in most cases,
agree.
And even if we don't share,
one hundred percent agreement,
so what?
We cherish and respect each other.

I know that in a so called,
secular society,
being a church going Christian,
can be seen as archaic,
anachronistic, obsolete,
and old fashioned,
but I tell ya,
the people I go to church with,
are,
smart, caring, flesh and blood,
men and women,
they live in,
the real world,
and they make room,
in their lives,
for joy, goodness and an occasional,
miracle.

I haven't been born again,
and I still have doubt, 
but I don't doubt that a Christian model,
lived in a thoughtful and reflective way,
is a good one.

I hope you all don't mind,
me sharing this ongoing quest,
and journey, with you

Be well you all.

Later girls,
BB

Published by

Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my very early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

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