Finding your way back…and better

Hello all, hope the,
deep dark of February,
isn't being too hard on you.

I have been very quiet of late,
on this blog,
in a lot of places,
well, quiet,
for me.

I am still working,
on the not overthinking,
thing.
I figure that will be a,
work in progress for a,
long time to come,
but,
that's cool.
You gotta have stuff,
to work for,
live for,
strive to improve,
in your life,
in your personality.

So, yeah, quiet,
took a bit,
of a break,
from Face Book,
from the blog,
from everything.
having foot issues,
plantar fasciitis,

or as I refer to it to myself: the fascist who lives in my foot

Luckily, this flare up,coincided with a, possibility,of working from home,which was great,because it's frigid cold,out there,not to mention,
slippery,and my rubber boots,don't have adequate,arch support


I have spent time,
at church,
at the museums,
reading, listening,
to podcasts,
watching films,
seeing friends, 
being,
absorbing.

I have also taken,
a photography class,
on line,
that lead me to ask,
myself questions,
about photography,
and,
if I want to go in that,
direction.
The answer is:
I don't think so.

I love photography,
I think I have,
a decent eye,
I like to share,
on Instagram,
https://www.instagram.com/bookishbutch/
on Facebook etc,
illustrate my life,
my city,
but, 
it isn't my voice, 
it's a hobby,
I want to keep,
doing it,
learning from it,
it brings me joy,
but,
it isn't the thing.

So what is the thing?

Hmm, it isn't one thing,
and it isn't easy to,
explain or describe,
I like sharing, communicating,
teaching with a small 't'.
I am not a formally trained,
teacher,
I am,
however,
someone who,
likes to,
share what I learn,
about the world,
about life,
about myself, 
with others,
I like to learn from people,
there is so much to,
learn.

This morning,
as I turned over,
in bed,
woke,
to a new day,
I smiled to myself,
at the good day,
I had yesterday.
Participating,
in a political party,
of ideas,
feeling that my,
talents and strengths,
can be useful in such,
contexts,
that I can inspire,
people to want more,
and better,
that turning away from,
hate and cynicism is the way.

I don't have a big circle,
or massive influence,
and,
I don't believe in,
harassing,
or brow beating.
people,
and I really don't think,
I have all the answers,
politically, spiritually,
but,
I am searching and I have,
found in my new party,
my new church,
a place where I can find,
eventually,
my spot,
I think.

So, I keep writing,
the blog,
I keep,
sharing with you all,
hopefully,
you read it,
hopefully,
every once in a while,
it echos what you are,
feeling,thinking,living,
or just brings a tiny,
sliver of light,
to,
an experience,
that isn't yours,
and adds to your,
understanding,
of people, the world.

This morning,
I thought:
I miss my anarchist,
so much,
and, I will never,
replace him,
I miss my bookstore,
and the camaraderie,
that came from it,
but,
I have,
begun,
after my years,
of grief,
to rebuild,
to take new paths,
while still having,
my pillars,
my family,
my friends,
my love.

I feel confident,
and, strong.

thank you, all, for reading,
for 'listening'

one thing, I would wish,
for 2017...
that you would,
comment,
more,
share more,
what you think.
That you would,
feel comfortable,
to converse,
with me.


Be well all of you,
later girls,
BB

 



Published by

Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my very early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.