November

Grey day,
November coming at full,
speed.
I love the Fall,
I hate,
November.
Some of you are,
thinking,
hate is a strong,
word,
emotion,
BB.

Yup, it sure is,
so maybe,
I should say,
I.
have an intense,
dislike,
visceral,
even,
for November.
I tell ya,
November is a crappy,
month,
like,
March.
one is the beginning,
of the long Winter,
the other is the,
will it ever end???
part,
of the Winter.

Of course,
good things happen,
in November,
lots of good things.
Some of my favourite,
people,
were born in November,
my parents got,
married in November,
other things,
I am sure.
To me the last few,
days of October,
and,
November,
are about,
fading light,
and,
energy.
The colours are,
brightest and,
prettiest in,
October,
the crisp,
air,
the bluest of skies,
but,
as October recedes,
so does the light.
The deep steel gray,
of November follows,
no snow yet,
cold rain,
dark skies,
cold,
damp,
nothing to buoy,
the spirit.
Every year,
I feel this way,
every year,
I try,
not to feel this,
way,
but,
it is what it is.
I will not wallow,
I try,
hard,
to find good things,
about,
the grey,
the dark,
the damp
...
I spend time with friends,
I read and watch,
and,
participate in,
creative inspiring things.

I look at the past year,
and,
look to the coming one.

This year,
I am in,
the here,
the now,
this week,
I will have surgery,
for my thyroid.
Prognosis,
is excellent,
and,
I feel fine,
physically,
psychologically,
my emotions,
are a tad,
grey,
but,
not black,
this will go well.
I am in good hands,
the best,
from this will come,
bigger and better things.

Surgery is a little bit,
scary,
and,
even though,
the physical healing,
goes well,
when you are a strong,
burly butch,
such as,
myself,
the emotional healing,
is harder.
Doable,
necessary,
and,
ultimately,
life changingly,
rewarding,
but,
hard.
Everything that makes,
you grow,
stronger,
taller,
bigger,
is,
not the incremental,
growth of,
everyday life,
but,
the punch in the gut,
epiphany moments,
of growth.

My hysterectomy,
was a beating,
an emotional,
car crash,
from which I have,
fully recovered,
and am in fact,
that much more,
strong,
confident,
weathered,
dashing and dapper:-)

This thyroid thing,
I'm thinking,
stinging face slap,
shock,
small red hand imprint,
move on.

Bring on November,
let's get this shit over,
with.

Be well,
don't let November get you down.

Later girls,

BB

Published by

Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my very early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

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