Restlessness and longing for…something

Hello all, 
hope you are all in,
tip top,
form.

Personally,
I still have that,
pain in the ass,
cold,
Summer colds!!
and,
I am feeling,
restless,
I thought it was,
boredom,
but,
that isn't it,
life ain't boring,
someone set me,
straight on that,
won't make a,
half assed,
statement about,
my bored state again,
quite right,
not bored.
Freaked out?
A little.
Searching?
Most definitely,

Also, I am,
sad,
at the passing of,
an old aunt,
I am not so sad at,
her passing,
she lived to be,
one hundred,
what more could you want?
She was a nice woman,
with kind eyes,
and fantastic hair.

I didn't know her well,
she was my grandfather's sister,
my mother's aunt.
Her passing comes,
more than,
twenty-five years,
after my grandfather's,
I miss him,
still.
and yes, living,
one hundred years,
is cause for celebration,
but,
she is the last of her clan,
the last of my grandparents,
siblings,
contemporaries.

I miss them,
their guidance,
their smart,
fair mindedness,
they were truly,
wonderful people. 
They had such a,
strong influence on my,
life,
on who I am,
and sometimes,
I wish I could,
Bury myself in,
my grand-maman's apron,
or that grand-papa,
would make everything,
better by offering me,
a peppermint.

Of course,
I am old enough,
to buy my own peppermints,
and,
to this day,
they calm and soothe me,
but,
nothing compares,
to the love,
the confidence,
that came with those,
peppermints,
they believed in me,
they made me feel,
special,
they cherished me.

The longer you live,
the more people you lose,
that's how it works.

So, yeah,
I am not bored,
I am longing for a future,
and,
missing the past,

I guess I need to live,
in the here and now

Be well,
you all,
reach for those you,
love,
remember those,
gone.
 
Later girls,
BB

Published by

Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my very early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

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