Patina, frayed edges and bucket lists

Hello all.
I apologize for my long absence. 
I have had much on my mind,
have been making lots of,
notes and diagrams and,
thinking, 
lots of,
thinking.

I have been thinking about what I want, 
what I really, really want,
forgive the Spice Girl reference, couldn't resist:-)



Looking ahead,
what do I want to do?
what, if anything do I want to accomplish?

The thing I miss most about my bookstore,
is meeting new and smart people,
I mean, not everyone I met was smart,
contrary to popular myth and folklore,
not all readers are smart but,
I was constantly exposed to,
new ideas and avenues of exploration.

I am pretty sure you don't need a bookstore.
to be exposed to that sort of stuff,
I read, I surf the net, 
I have brilliant friends,
but,
meeting new stimulating people,
has been difficult,
since I closed the store,
since, I lost Francoys,
since, I had my surgery.
I have been low.

In the next few weeks,
I will celebrate,
the removal of my alien.
yup,
a year,
and, this week,
one year of no smoking.

Do I miss smoking?
Less than I thought I would,
Is it hard?
Not so much anymore.

It's not about having it beat,
or letting my guard down,
it's mostly that I don't 
want a vice or bad habit to,
have a hold on me,
to dictate certain parts,
certain outcomes,
of my life.
I like having better breath,
I like breathing better,
I like having more money,
I miss the relaxation,
smoking procures,
I miss the taste,
but,
I chose not to smoke,
not because,
I am good and virtuous,
or because I have allowed,
the demonizing of tobacco,
to influence me,
I chose not to smoke because,
I have decided,
that I would like to live,
longer than,
60 years.
Quitting smoking,
improves my odds,
and improves my health,
that's it.

I want to live long enough,
to develop good patina,
to appreciate frayed edges,
I want to see my hair,
go all,
grey,
and then white,
I want to grow old,
not get old.

Old age is something I want to experience,
not suffer through.

Old age isn't 50.

Fifty is still plenty young,
so this year,
I am going to knock a few things,
of my bucket list,
work at maintaining the old bod,
stimulating my mind,
to keep it fresh and agile.

The first steps in body maintenance,
have been taken,
and,
now we,
plank:-)

The stimulating of the mind is made up,
of knowledge and new experiences,
this year,
I will make efforts to reach out to new people,
be open, more open.

One thing,
I will do, for sure,
is travel to a bucket list destination,
this year:
the Canadian North,
it will either be,
the North West Territories or Nunavut,
not sure which,
yet,
but, it will be in the fall,
and it will be accompanied by photos,
and,
an article,
a butch from the south travels north,
type of thing.

I see great things for this year,
here is to,
patina, 
frayed worn edges, and
bucket lists

Be well you all,
big massive hug

Later girls,
BB


Published by

Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my very early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

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