Lucky

I’m feeling nostalgic

I was listening to some songs on You Tube.

Funny,

Ever listen to a song you haven’t heard for a long time and remember all the words?

I was listening to a Mike And The Mechanics song The Living Years.

I think all of us who have fathers who have passed can relate to that song.

I like, that the song, is not an attempt at a Hallmark moment.

It’s about the fact, that we all carry the hopes and fears of the previous generation

 and that everybody blames everybody.

In spite of that,

 we miss them and we love them.

The Living Years reminds me of Dad.

Besame Mucho and really sweet iced cake, of my grandfather.

The sweetest most sentimental man I have ever known.

He has been gone more than twenty years.

 I think of him often.

My grandma has been gone for twelve,

 she wasn’t always so easy.

But, when I need a moral compass I always turn to her memory.

She always had something good to say about people.

Even, when there wasn’t much, she would come with ,

“Well, they’re clean”

You gotta love that.

She had a tough time of it at the end,

 I think she had regrets and she was lonely.

I hope she knew how important she was to me.

I told her,

 but,

 you know people don’t always listen.

You can’t live in the past and in the what if’s.

But, revisiting and staying in touch with who you are, is important.

Sometimes I forget who I am and I get lost in an emotional Maelstrom.

I am the daughter and granddaughter of,

 strong and weak,

 men and women.

One thing about me,

 I am loved, this much I know.

Oh, and

I’m clean.

Later girls

BB

Published by

Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my very early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

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