This Butch’s Godfather??

canadian blog awards

Winner GLBT category.

I have had a cold,

for a few days,

funny,

here I am,

desperately looking,

forward to Fall,

and,

because of the drastic changes,

in temperature,

I get a major sinus and head cold,

yep,

weird.

I haven’t felt much up,

to writing,

staring at the screen makes,

my head hurt,

but,

I have been thinking,

and,

been keeping journal notes.

Yesterday,

I felt well enough,

to go downtown,

and,

run some errands,

pick up,

a birthday present for my nephew,

bag an awesome t-shirt,

at Targets for $3.96,

on the liquidation rack,

score!!

Today I had lunch,

with my bud, Pierre,

the computer tech extraordinaire,

and,

his wonderful Westie,

Odile.

Later, I hooked up,

with my pal, Peter,

the movie connaisseur.

We were discussing,

his plan for a Meryl Streep festival,

and then,

the conversation veered to,

romantic comedies,

do you believe,

he has never seen,

You’ve Got Mail??

blew my mind.

Such a smart film,

well acted,

New York,

Meg Ryan,

looking more beautiful,

than should be legal,

anyway,

it got me thinking.

In that film,

the Tom Hanks character,

explains that everything,

you need to know,

about life,

as a man,

you can learn,

from,

the Godfather,

it’s not personal it’s business, leave the gun, take the canollis, etc.

as I thought about that,

sort of,

my mind riffing,

about the film,

films,

Julia Roberts,

all over the place,

a small idea,

began to grow,

I have learned so much,

from films,

almost as much as books,

but,

above all others,

one film has taught me,

lessons,

about love.

Some I caught immediately,

some took my years to grasp,

but,

whenever,

I think about,

back on,

lessons learned,

about love,

I hear some dialogue,

from this film.

This film is,

Desert Hearts

desert_hearts

Desert Hearts,

was released in 1985,

I was twenty in 1985,

I knew,

who I was,

I loved women,

but,

this film,

made me feel,

that it wasn’t particularly,

weird,

and,

that smart sexy University professors,

were out there,

just waiting for an awesome,

young butch like me

(wink)

I watched this movie,

many times,

when it became available,

on VHS,

and later DVD,

I loved it,

I knew parts by heart,

and,

not only the sex scenes,

which were,

fantastic,

and,

sexy,

not some male lesbian fantasy thing.

I had never seen anything,

like it,

it was sex positive,

romantic,

not mushy,

and,

the ending offered,

hope,

in a slightly ambiguous way.

These were the 80’s,

there weren’t many,

lesbian movies,

well,

any,

really,

where the characters,

didn’t go straight,

or die.

Long before the L-Word,

and,

the semi presentable,

acceptable,

lesbian character.

This film was pioneer stuff,

it lead the way,

it was a critical success.

It has always had a special place,

in my heart.

I look back on it,

today,

and,

a few lines,

always come back,

at this stage in my life,

when I was younger it was others.

At one point one of the main characters,

Kay the pottery artist/casino worker,

asks Frances,

her step mother,

played by Audra Lindley of Mrs Roper fame, it is the performance of her career, every note perfect,

why after all these years,

of widowhood,

she still pines for Glen,

her deceased husband,

why no other,

why him?

and Frances answers,

‘he reached in and put a string of lights around my heart’

this struck me as a great line,

at the time,

even better than Kay’s,

‘I finally found someone that counts’

but,

with life experience,

and,

some love behind me,

and ahead of me,

it now resonates,

more than ever before,

that’s what love feels like,

light around your heart,

illumination,

crystal clear,

clarity,

a sense of direction,

sunshine.

The image so perfect,

a loving hand,

reaching into your chest,

and,

encircling your heart,

with little white lights,

maybe yours are brightly coloured, mine are soft white.

Gorgeous words,

gorgeous sentiment.

happy sigh

đŸ™‚

The other line,

which has come back to me,

a few times,

is of a slightly different nature,

and much more of the,

lessons will be repeated until they are learned,

variety.

At one point,

Vivian asks Kay what happened between,

she and Darryl, her supervisor at the casino,

he is obviously carrying a torch for Kay.

Kay explains,

” I allowed myself to get attracted to his attraction for me”

Wow,

that one is a major life lesson.

It is easy,

to get attracted to others,

attractions,

we are lonely,

we need validation,

we are blinded by what is being reflected back to us,

not seeing ourselves.

This isn’t strictly a love thing,

either,

flattery and attention of any kind,

can lead us to be momentarily,

distracted,

lose our focus.

This isn’t light,

it is golden calf stuff,

these aren’t lights,

to buoy you,

light the way,

these are lights,

that blind you,

leave you thinking,

you are someone,

else,

someone,

other,

these lights make you perfect,

not loved for who you are,

these lights are fairy tales.

So,

I guess Desert Hearts,

taught me,

about the warm bright light of love,

and,

the false vain idol worshipping ones,

two of the most valuable lessons,

I have learned.

So,

maybe,

just maybe,

Desert Hearts is the butch version,

of,

The Godfather??

Silly butch.

Later girls,

BB

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author: Bookish Butch

I am a bookish butch in my mid early fifties. I live in Montréal and always have. I used to run a small used bookstore. Reading keeps me sane. My latest jiggie is photography, book project in the works, living the dream

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